Anxiety/Insomnia/Blah blah blah

I have a cold and I have been waiting ALLLLLLL day to go to bed. So, I go to bed and....I'm WIDE AWAKE! I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

I think I have this underlying anxiety about T tomorrow. Last week was weird, teen me went, I'm sure they had a blast, and I *really* need to go tomorrow to deal with some memories that came up Friday night. Bad, bad, bad stuff. But I guess at the same time, I don't want to go. Blah.

SO! Subject change! We homeschool, and there is a lot of intermingling of adults and kids at our (ridiculously large number of) social gatherings. I spend a lot of time with my 12 year old sons best friend/"girlfriend" because she and I go to all of his baseball games together. She got her ears pierced a couple of months ago, and I've been feeling this push from (my overly jealous) teen to get MY ears pierced. I wear tshirts and jeans and birkenstocks EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE. Pierced ears just don't interest me! Guess what I did today? Yes, got my ears pierced. lolol Sometimes teen wins, but at least it's not SI, so I guess that's a good thing (hmmm - suddenly i'm feeling like I should be on the DD board because that is SUCH A HUGE REVELATION I just had - give teen what she wants sometimes and she doesn't SI. Really?!? Whoa.)

ANYHOW, I don't know WHO will show up for therapy tomrorow. I already don't feel "all me", I'm realizing as I'm typing this. I know T likes teen because he has told me that, but I don't want to get pushed out all of the time....

LOLOL - okay! Thanks for listening and I'm off to post in DD

Send some sleepy dust or something my way! I need to sleep!!

Treehouse... the issue of your teen surfacing in therapy sounds really challenging. It seems like emotions and thoughts from my teen/young adult ego state have been surfacing a lot lately too. My recent obession with trying to work through managing both safe and intimate touch has caused a lot of issues to surface... I think my teen has been through this process before. I kind of want to discuss some of this in therapy, but then again NOT!

IDK... I feel my ego states, but I am in control of how influencial they are on my outward actions. In your case these ego states seem to pop completely out and you don't necessarily have control of what they say and do. This sounds REALLY challenging and I can appreciate why your are anxious. ((((Treehouse))))

All I can offer you is a simple ... have faith in your T to deal with her and you.

Also, in seeing my own son at 12, I think... "he aggravates the heck out of me..but on average he is not a monster. Maybe, I wasn't really the monster that I thought I was at that age either." Just consider that MAYBE the teen-you is not really as bad as you think she is. So, if she gets out...it might be good to see what she is really like and then deal with her. Not sure if that makes sense.

God bless you. I am having real trouble dealing with this age group :-) The boys...poking, hitting, teasing, and acting like total dorks drives me nuts. And seeing the girls attempt to capture the boys attention, looking like *****s because they haven't figure out MORE is not BETTER when it comes to make-up and accessories, and of course their brainless he-said-she-said chatter.

IDK Treehouse, sitting in the stands for 3 hours watching 4 innings of little baseball where the scores are 23 to 2 because the pitchers can make it to the plate... well I think every women in the stands is probably dissociating from the trauma this is putting us through. Believe it or not, I actually lost it the other night and pleaded for consession stand duty.

Sorry...kind of lost it writing this post. Anyway... I hope your therapy session is... a lot less painful than watching little league baseball.

(((((((((((((((((((treehouse))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm too late to send some sleeping fairy dust, but I do hope you got some sleep last night.

Is there anyway to compromise and share with Teen in therapy? Like maybe you get the first hour, and she gets the last 1/2 hour? Or if she thinks that is unfair you could go 50/50. Maybe if she knows you are trying to get her needs met she will allow you to also meet your own needs.

Good luck today - let us know how it goes, ok?
and
kt