hugs in T

if you had asked me a week ago I would have said no dont want hugs and it would be triggering - I wanted to give my old T a hug when I had my last session and found out he was ill - but could only bring myself to shake his hand

My T - just left - I was going to ask for a hug onthe last appt as I was so.... dunno ... but she gave me a hug! and it was great and I didnt get triggered - hmmm may just turn into a hug monster! ... probably not! - would never have happened from either of us if she hadnt been leaving
the child in me wants hugs the adult wont let me

Luce said:
I really understand your ambivalence on this. It take a lot of time to build trust and get to know a new T.

Bether - It's so great that you could feel your T's comfort without a hug. Sometimes I can feel my T's comfort and compassion in her words - she can be very expressive. Sometimes her words are so full of feeling they bring tears to my eyes.

P7 - I'm glad you got a hug and it wasn't triggering for you.
I'm sorry your T is leaving though. That must be hard.
You're not the only one who has said the child inside wants hugs, but the adult doesn't. I'm sure as you continue to heal the 2 will start to agree a little more.

Your hug sounds really nice, Bether. When my T and I hug, it can be quick or long, but I always feel they are comforting, no matter the length. We do sideways hugs sometimes, and other times, facing-each-other hugs. It seems like they are longer when our sharing has been more emotional or deeper, or I need more comfort/reassurance/love, etc. They seem to always match the situation.