[TayQuincy]

T says she was going give me a hug when I graduate. This was back in October. She had said it in response to a conversation about physical touch. Several years ago, she said I could hug her, but I never did and never asked. I was satisfied that she would hug me, but never felt the need for the actual hug. I just liked knowing i could if I wanted to. So, now I am graduating this Saturday and I want the hug. I'm afraid to ask because I'm afraid she won't remember, or that she will change her mind. Part of me can't really believe she would change her mind after committing to it. I can't believe she would do that to me. But what if she does?? I feel sick even thinking about it. It's scary to ask for. I know she hugs other clients.

Tayla

[darkrunner]

Hi TayQuincy,
First of all, Congratulations on graduating!

It is scary to ask for a hug, but it sounds like you have been seeing your T for a long time. I don't think she would completely forget her promise, although she may need to be reminded of it.

Maybe, could you ask her in a round-about way if she remembers the promise she made you?

[TayQuincy]

Thanks for responding ktgirl,

I am seeing her next week and I will ask her if she remembers. I'm feeling scared though.

[darkrunner]

I think it's normal to feel scared. It sounds like you have known your T for a long time and I'm sure she will respond in a way that is best for you.
Let us know how it goes, if you are comfortable, ok?

(((((((((((((((((((TayQuincy)))))))))))))))))))))

It can be very scary to ask to have our needs met. The good thing is, T has already told you that she will give you this hug, so chances are, you'll be rewarded with a "yes" and a hug

Let us know how it goes....and congratulations on graduating!!!!

[TayQuincy]

Thanks both of you for congratulating me on graduating. I am so happy to have finished my bachelor's degree after all these years. I'm a mom of two, and my youngest is about to graduate from high school next month.

so, i had therapy today, but i chickened out. She must have forgotten that she said it, because she didn't give me a hug. I wanted to bring it up at the end of session, so I told her i wanted to ask her something. she could tell something was up and thought it would require more time. she was afraid that we would have to have time for a repair?? Gosh, she is anticipating the worst. Maybe she really senses what I am going to ask for, and thinks I will be upset. I was acting kind of strange so that could be why. I decided to wait until next session, as she suggested and to bring it up right away. I just want the one hug, the reward I have been looking forward to all these months. I worked hard, and it was a motivating factor when times got really tough.

I may just ask my other counselor for a hug, just to get brave. I wouldn't be as devastated if she said no, so it might be good practice. BTW, I am not a touchy feely kind of person. I might even shed some tears if my t did hug me.

Thanks for caring.