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#1
Jun 12, 2009, 11:42 PM
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Well, since I have arrived at the conclusion that I am attached to T and would miss her greatly if I quit therapy to avoid said attachment...
I now need to figure out what is ok to bring up in therapy and what is just me being stupid and needy. A couple of weeks ago I was searching Facebook for people who went to my college. ICKY POO!!!!!! There was the name of the creep that almost raped me. I am having major flashbacks after this trigger. I haven't told my T this. She knows something is wrong, but says it is my decision to tell her or not tell her what it is. While I am not having suicidal impulses now, I did after the almost rape incident 12 years ago. It's weird having flashbacks about that. Should I tell the T? I finally feel like I am focused on my self esteem issues in therapy and I really don't wanna get off track talking about this crap. (T diagnosed me with PTSD due to the near rape) I also am a bit ticked off about something T does. Everytime I come in to therapy happy...she asks me questions. I know the questions are to see if I am hypomanic. It ticks me off that I am not allowed to be happy without setting off all this suspicion. I wish she would just come out and say her concerns directly. Should I bring this subject up? (bet she would just let me be happy if I wasn't bipolar!!!) I feel dumb even asking these questions. I need therapy kindergarten or something. 
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"Unipolar is boring! Go Bipolar!"  Amazonmom is not putting up with bad behavior any more. |
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#2
Jun 13, 2009, 12:58 AM
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Lol be honest say what u feel sort it out with her. Trust her.
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 Amazonmom
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#3
Jun 13, 2009, 04:15 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
| Amazonmom
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#4
Jun 13, 2009, 02:20 PM
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Now that you bring it up...yes I do feel a bit attacked when she asks the hypomania questions. It feels like she thinks I don't realize what may be going on. Actually I am recognizing a pattern, but I feel like she is waiting to trap me. That is kind of silly, because she has never displayed any negative intent before. I equate hypomania with happy, T wants to treat hypomania, therefore T doesn't want me to be happy. That is faulty logic!!!! But the fact remains that I don't feel happy unless I am hypomanic.
Actually, I just realized something. The hypomania started after I had the flashback. It's baby hypomania, didn't realize I could have manic and depressive symptoms at the same time. I have come to the conclusion that I do need to bring up both issues with T. Now if I just could find the courage somewhere....
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"Unipolar is boring! Go Bipolar!" Amazonmom is not putting up with bad behavior any more. |
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#5
Jun 13, 2009, 08:03 PM
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Quote:
What if you were to just go ahead and do it without the courage? |
| Amazonmom
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#6
Jun 13, 2009, 08:20 PM
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Amazonmom, I'm curious, what questions does your therapist ask to see if you are hypomanic? Do these questions help her distinguish being hypomanic from just being happy? Do they help you distinguish this? Is there overlap in being happy and being hypomanic?
How does your therapist treat hypomania? In a way different from a pdoc (with medication)? I would have a hard time too if I felt my therapist was invalidating my happiness and trying to get me to be less happy! I hope you can talk to her about this and let her know how you feel.
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"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
| Amazonmom
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#7
Jun 13, 2009, 09:48 PM
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My T and my prescriber are the same person. I refer to her as T in the therapy forum, and as psych NP in others.
She asks specific questions about sleep, how I am getting along at work, points out certain things I am doing (bouncing my foot up and down), and got really interested in my statement that my life is "boring, boring, boring". I know she is concerned about me, and wants me to be truly happy and not settle for a few days of euphoria once in a blue moon. I wish she would say that though. Two weeks ago she asked me to get a lithium level done. I did. Apparently she never got the results. When I asked her what the level is, she said she never got the result and asked me if I actually had it drawn. If she thought I didn't do the level, why didn't she ask me? I know a few of T's former clients, and they all agree that T makes you ask for what you need or want, versus just guessing what you want and giving it to you. Guess I need to ask her a few things!!!! I think I will freak out and start crying if I asked her without courage, Fool Zero. I get your point though  .Instead of the cowardly lion, just call me a cowardly turtle! Maybe I can retract into my shell instead of asking!!!!!
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"Unipolar is boring! Go Bipolar!" Amazonmom is not putting up with bad behavior any more. |
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#8
Jun 13, 2009, 10:21 PM
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Amazonmom
How about a list of things you want to ask all made up as sunrise suggested to me on another post? This way you don't have to have tons of courage because it will be right there for her to read is you can't read it to her.
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Hangingon When you feel your nearing the end of your rope tie a knot and hang on !!! |
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#9
Jun 13, 2009, 10:42 PM
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Good idea. I think I will have to make the list, so maybe if I am reading the list I might not freak out as much.
I think watching my T read the list would freak me out, wondering what she is thinking.... I might need a barf bag for my next session no matter what, it seems like 
__________________
"Unipolar is boring! Go Bipolar!" Amazonmom is not putting up with bad behavior any more. |
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