[phoenix7]

T went on holiday and said call me if there are any probs - and I said yeah right like thats gonna happen - no way am I going to cal you onyour hols and he said other people will and its ok

but I cant I have been spiralling out of control - am a bit better today
but I really wanted to call T but couldnt .........

I sent him a text telling him i had my ct (hit my head) and was ok cos he asked me to - told him I felt like a freak cos ha to have xray as well an tech saw my SI scars and treated me like a freak - which is what I feel like and said no need to reply .... and he didnt.......

Geez why dont T's know when you say no need for reply thats when you NEED a REPLY

I guess Im old enough to be able to ask for what I need ...... or not !

Why is it so hard to ring T? cos I know some day he will come to his senses and drop me like a red hot coal! and I dont want to bother him on holiday or any other time I dont feel im worthy of his time anyway.....

why is Therapy soooooooo hard to do .... and soooooo hard not to

[Sannah]

[emilyjeanne]

Originally Posted by phoenix7

T went on holiday and said call me if there are any probs - and I said yeah right like thats gonna happen - no way am I going to cal you onyour hols and he said other people will and its ok

but I cant I have been spiralling out of control - am a bit better today
but I really wanted to call T but couldnt .........

I sent him a text telling him i had my ct (hit my head) and was ok cos he asked me to - told him I felt like a freak cos ha to have xray as well an tech saw my SI scars and treated me like a freak - which is what I feel like and said no need to reply .... and he didnt.......

Geez why dont T's know when you say no need for reply thats when you NEED a REPLY

I guess Im old enough to be able to ask for what I need ...... or not !

Why is it so hard to ring T? cos I know some day he will come to his senses and drop me like a red hot coal! and I dont want to bother him on holiday or any other time I dont feel im worthy of his time anyway.....

why is Therapy soooooooo hard to do .... and soooooo hard not to

I totally get where you are coming from. I struggle with calling my T if I am really having a hard time. What is ironic, is that I have no problem calling for a medication question. But when it really counts I can't do it.

[phoenix7]

((((sannah))) (((emilyjeanne))))

[TrespassersWill]

Just use this place as your therapy till T is back. I know I struggle with calling T all the time then sometimes regret having called even when I was told it was ok. Because sometimes I look back and see how I got in a paniced little tizzy and called. The last time I called it was 8:00ish and she told me she works till 8 most days seeing clients or for some group therapy thing. So after she talked to me at 8 she said we'll talk about this more when its not "after hours" and I could hear her smoking. I never smelt cigarette smoke on her so I thought was she smoking pot. Anyways because of all that I felt bad for calling late and haven't wanted to call her for anything since. So my idea is to resist all temptations to call T as its probably part of good therapy to learn how to deal with things on my own.

Just talk to us if you need to talk and maybe it will help some.

[mightaswelllive]

I struggle with this too Phoenix. Last summer T was on holiday and it was happening right as I was preparing to go to a clinic and she was so good and talked to me daily, sometimes more, but I really felt like I ruined her trip.

I also talk to her a lot out of session and I always get upset while I'm talking and tell her how much I hate wasting her off clock time.

I think sometime we have to remember is that this is the job they signed up for. This is the position they chose. If they can't handle the calls, or don't want to handle the calls, they won't. They are not obligated to speak to us after hours, they are doing it because they care.

I can't tell you not to feel bad because I always feel bad. But do feel comfort in knowing that your T did say that you can contact them - it sounds like they expect to be contacted so if you need them, use them.

[TrespassersWill]

I just thought of something. lol My T is so smart she is on a vacation where there are no cell phone signals. No silly patients like me calling crying to her for over 2 weeks! Oh she is so clever! She's probably celebrating at the peace and quiet as I type. And she's going to come back all tanned on top of that.

[Lifsuks]

Geez,
I'm glad I'm not the only one with this problem! I asked my T. if I could email him when I need to talk, but he told me his email is for family and prefers having clients call his answering service. This is fine w/ me because then, I guess emailing would only make me more miserable waiting for a reply. He's on vacation for a week, but he told me that he is staying home cuz his son is coming home to visit. He also made sure I had his answering service number before I left my last appt. I guess this means he doesn't mind me calling, but, like you all, I hesitate doing just that; I don't want to bother him on his vacation or off hours. I think that will be part of the anxiety when I really need to call him in the middle of the night when most of my crisis occurs! Of course it would probably be the next morning when he checks his service and returns my call. He told me he checks his service everytime, but I don't think he'll check in the middle of the night, so guess I'll end up not calling anyway!

[TrespassersWill]

Your T has an answering service? Now that just bites! My T gives her cellph#.

Oh and what's with all of us having T's on vacation? Is there some secret T convention going on we don't know about or where have they all gone?

[KUREHA]

How long is he away for?
My psychologist was away for 2 weeks and it sucked.

I'm not sure if I can phone her, she has said once before though, I phone my nurse if I really need to talk to someone though.

Since he said that you could phone though - he probably won't mind at all. It's not like you're always phoning either, I think if you need to phone you should.
Yeah I know it's easy to say that.

Take Care

((((((((((((((P7)))))))))))))))))) My T was just on vacation, and said I could call/e-mail and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I finally left one short, weepy message 8 days into the vacation, but that was it. I KNOW he can take care of himself, and I am positive he wouldn't have told me I could call/e-mail if I wasn't supposed to, but I just had this huge fear of "bothering" him during his time off. Looking back, it was probably kind of silly of me, but at the same time, I do feel like I accomplished something by making it through without him. If I had felt REALLY tortured by it, I probably would have called. I just didn't get to that point.

What I did instead: I kept an ongoing journal/e-mail to him about what was going on in my life and sent it last night once he was home and returning to work. It made me feel better "talking" to him in that way, knowing he would read it eventually when he got home. I stayed really, really, really busy. I let my friends help me. I came to PC. None of these things were as good as talking to T, but I did discover that I have it in me to make it through without him if I have to...

Earlier in therapy, I would have probably needed to call. He has NEVER told me I could call when he didn't mean it. If your T said you could call, and you really need to, it is OKAY to call. T's are usually honest, and good about self-care.

((((((((((((((((((((P7)))))))))))))))))))))) and (((((((((((((((((((everyone with T on vacation)))))))))))))))))))). It's so hard!!!

[phoenix7]

thanks everyone and to everyone who's T is on hols and yes maybe there is a scret T's convention going on somwhere - maybe we could all turn up there too lol

things got so bad today I sent another text to T - this time I briefly outlined what had happened and asked him if he would leave me a message on m home phone I could listen to when I got home from work - I deliberately sent it when I went to work so he couldnt ring me... I didnt want to talk to him (well I did but I thought this way he could leave a message and he could just waste a few mins of his time instead of having to talk to me)

He rang back on my mobiel but I was working so my phone was switched off - 1 missed call - so I expected a message on my home phone on something I could try to do.. but he left a message saying he would be up till half past mdnight and to call him back - eek!

that wasnt what I expected .... so I rang him back - felt I had to cos he had left the message just in case he was staying up for the call - told him I was sorry for sendign the text and that everything was ok - he didnt fal for that - so I explained what had happened - and he said this was exactly the situation when I should ring him and that he only gives his phone number to people who he thinks may need it while he is away and his colleagues take his otherr calls but that it was his choice and he liked to stay hands on with his clients -

I feel better after talking to T - he makes me feel safe

thankyou for your support - I really really really really appreciate it - I have missed being here - take care one and all

and I hope everyones T is back soon - mine is back 24th pdoc 27th

[Luce]

nice T.

[peaches100]

Phoenix.

I'm so glad you were able to tallk to your t, and that you were reassured that it was OK to call when you need to.

My t has never offered to let me call her while she's on vacation. One time, early in my therapy, she offered to "check her messages" but that was the only time.

[TrespassersWill]

Phoenix that is really great T you have and he really cares since he got right back to you and offered for you to call up till midnight.

I'm having to wait till the 24th too for my T to return. She didn't offer to let me call her while she was away, but I suspect she can't receive cell signals where she's at. When I went on vacation for 3 weeks she did tell me to call her if I needed her. So I suspect the offer wasn't given while she's away is because she knows she can't talk where she's at. She did offer me an appointment on the very day she returns and its not my usual day. So I thought that was highly unusual since it would be just a few days from my usual day so its like I will get extra time once she returns. She tries to keep all her clients on same day and time every week so we can all be consistent.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by phoenix7

told him I was sorry for sendign the text and that everything was ok - he didnt fal for that -

see? he cares

[phoenix7]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

see? he cares

Yes Im actually beginning to think he does now I just have to believe that I deserve his caring