[fallenangel337]

Just a random question I've been thinking about...

Has anyone here seen their file in T? On that note, is anyone interested in seeing their file?

[Amazonmom]

I already talked to you in the other thread...but my file gets thicker and thicker....makes me wanna start saying weird things just to get her to put it in the file!!!!

Originally Posted by fallenangel337

Just a random question I've been thinking about...

Has anyone here seen their file in T? On that note, is anyone interested in seeing their file?

[Foomph]

I don't think I'd want to see mine...don't want to know what he's written down about me.

[fallenangel337]

Originally Posted by Amazonmom

I already talked to you in the other thread...but my file gets thicker and thicker....makes me wanna start saying weird things just to get her to put it in the file!!!!

Sounds like a plan!

I just didn't want to spam up the other thread with file talk.

I'd actually love to see my file, just out of curiosity.

T has only taken notes in front of me during my first session, but I know he makes notes after session, that he puts drawings, things I've written, etc. in there. I'm pretty sure he doesn't print up my e-mails and put them in there, because that would require a level of organization that is beyond him

Once I wanted to tear up an authorization I had signed for him to talk to another T (that I saw briefly for meditation instruction) about me. He was like, lets tear it up right now, let me get your file... and he went over and proceeded to pull out the ENTIRE BOTTOM DRAWER of his file cabinet. He thought he was SOOOO funny Really, my file is a yellow file folder maybe 3/4 of an inch thick - and I've been going twice a week for a LONG time - so I don't think he is putting very much in there.

I used to want to see my file, but I really don't now. At ALL. I've heard too many bad stories of people and their files, and I like to focus on our relationship rather than the clinical aspects of what is going on.

[fallenangel337]

My T makes notes after sessions as well, which I think is what I'm most interested in. Are patients even allowed to see our files solely for the sake of curiosity?

[emilyjeanne]

I know I'm going to be judged on this one.......

My T keeps notes during the session (It is her psychoanalytical way). Sometimes she goes to the bathroom before my session. I sit there and dare myself to open the file sitting on her chair.

Well, a couple of weeks ago I looked at it. I won't mention what was written. But....I have felt horrible ever since. It is like I betrayed her trust. The mindset I was in when I did it was very self destructive.

Ok. I feel better now that I've confessed.

[sunrise]

I'm not even sure my T keeps a file on me. If he does, I don't need to see it. I think maybe he has no file because he is very disorganized. There have been times when I signed a release for him to talk to someone else about me. And I had to do this on 3 separate occasions and finally I wondered outloud why these releases couldn't cover more than one contact, why I couldn't sign one that would be good for several months. He was kind of embarrassed and said they are good for that long! But he has just lost the forms whenever I sign them. They are in the mountain of junk on his desk. So I don't think he has a file for me. Where would he keep all these client files? There are no filing cabinets in his office. I guess they could be online, but I doubt it. Once, quite some months after a couples session, I wanted to refer back to some agreements my H and I had made, but I had forgotten, and I thought T might have taken some notes at that session, so I asked if he had notes from that session that might include what we had agreed on, and he said no, he had no notes. Do all T's keep notes?

There was one time I was accidentally sent an email in which T and other members of my divorce team were talking about me. I was furious at some of the stuff my lawyer wrote. But all the stuff T wrote was just fine--accurate, caring, etc. There was no reason for him to hold back in that email, so I do trust that what he truly thinks of me agrees with what he might write privately.

Originally Posted by emilyjeanne

I know I'm going to be judged on this one.......

.

((((((((((((((((((((emilyjeanne))))))))))))))))))

No judgment here. That WOULD be really hard to resist.

[mightaswelllive]

I don't think I could handle looking at my file, but sometimes in session when I see T furiously scribbling away I do ask what she is writing. It is always fair and accurate. I don't think she filters it when I ask.

I think if someone DID feel the need to look at their file, it is something they should discuss with T (obviously) and then do it together. Their notes are a function of them even though they are about you. It would be silly to view the notes without T there to explain what they meant.

Originally Posted by sunrise

Do all T's keep notes?

I think for legal reasons they are supposed to...

[YoonaxLee]

Ive wanted to see mine for awhile now. i dont feel my Therapy is going anywhere...i wanna see it see what she is thinkinggg.....

[thinker22]

I'm actually have no desire to see it. The p-doc has a 4" thick file by now, including medical issues and my new therapist never takes any notes that I'm aware of. Seriously, do I want to know if they think I have a personality disorder or if they suspect I'm a hypochondriac? No. I asked my p-doc once, would you ever actually tell someone to their face that they had, say narcissistic personality disorder? (because no one has told my dad or his mom or my brother and they probably never will). She said, "No, I think that would be better dealt with during ongoing therapy." Which is a kind of non-answer because I doubt a therapist would tell their patient either. It would offend a narcissist too much and they'd say, "Why is everyone picking on me?" Hahahaha. I only laugh to not cry. And I'm actually fond of the members in my family with NPD.

[deliquesce]

^ my pdoc has told some of his (long term) clients if they have personality disorders (NPD, BPD) that he thought they really didn't want to hear or face the reality of. he said some have really resented it, but still been prepared to work with him (and eventually sorted through some of those issues), but that many also terminate when they hear what he "really" thinks about them.

havent looked at any of my files, although i wish i could look at what old-T has on me. partly because i know he wrote huge debriefs to pdoc, and some of them were completely false (pdoc would say "i know you're doing quality work with old-T on this issue" but old-T would have told me a week ago we weren't going to look at that even though i asked to). but the other reason is because i'm still really upset and bitter about how things were terminated, and i wish i could look at his notes to remind me a bit about the good stuff that made me keep going for 2 years.

re: pdoc's file... nothing useful in it. just a lot of ticks and crosses, few words like "fatigued", "exams", "father hostile" and sometimes (when he remembers) a note on what medications we've switched to . i've never asked what's in it, because he writes dot points while we talk (never finishes them up later), but also because he tells me what he's writing when he knows i'm discussing stuff i'd rather no one else ever find out about.

I don't know that my T makes many notes on me - she doesn't take any notes during sessions, so I don't know if I have a file or not. But I'm confident that if I ask her what she thinks of me, that she'd tell me - this has already happened twice, and she was very forthright about it.

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by Amazonmom

.makes me wanna start saying weird things just to get her to put it in the file!!!!

LMAO
Stamp of approval. The real game involved is seeing if your T "gets it" and if he's paying attention completely. Make sure my T is on his "A" game...

[Luce]

Last year I revisited an old T of mine and we spent two sessions going through my old files together. I hadn't seen her for nearly ten years, and there were about eight years worth of files to go through. They contained notes she had made, drawings and photocopies of journal entries I had given to her, stuff like that. None of the stuff she had written was offensive to me. It was just her perceptions and interpretations at the time.
It was kinda interesting to revisit that whole section of my life, through those files, and to see how far I have come since then.

[chaotic13]

I totally hate thinking about my file. Part of me would like to see what my T writes about me. Honestly, I don't think it is much. It seems like there must be some kind of check sheet on the inside flap. At the end of a session I've notices that she makes a few checks or quick marks but that is it. However sometimes when I am describing something like symptoms she will write some things down. If she writes more she must do it later. What I would be most interested in is if she highlights or marks up emails that I send her.

I can get really freaked out thinking about all of the stuff I've put in my file.

I'm turning this line of thought off now.

[mightaswelllive]

Originally Posted by Luce

Last year I revisited an old T of mine and we spent two sessions going through my old files together. I hadn't seen her for nearly ten years, and there were about eight years worth of files to go through. They contained notes she had made, drawings and photocopies of journal entries I had given to her, stuff like that. None of the stuff she had written was offensive to me. It was just her perceptions and interpretations at the time.
It was kinda interesting to revisit that whole section of my life, through those files, and to see how far I have come since then.

I've been thinking about doing this with my old T when I go home for a few weeks. What was her reaction when you contacted and asked to do that? Was it worth it?

[Indie'sOK]

I'd be interested in seeing my file, even though there isn't really much to see as I've only seen my T for two months now.

[skeksi]

T always assures me that I am welcome to look at my file, and he's offered to read excerpts. I decline--I'm afraid of what I might hear, I guess.

I am learning that T is pretty transparent. He doesn't lie when I ask him questions, I don't think, so if I want to know what he thinks about a particular issue (like, "Am I being a whiner?"), I can ask and get an answer.

I don't want to see my file as much as I once did.

[Luce]

Originally Posted by mightaswelllive

I've been thinking about doing this with my old T when I go home for a few weeks. What was her reaction when you contacted and asked to do that? Was it worth it?

We had been in email contact for a while and since I was planning to spend a month in her city she suggested I go see her for one session each week. I remember I had given her a copy of a letter years ago, and at the first session I asked her if she had kept it, because I wanted a copy of it for myself. She brought the box of my files to the next session and we dug through it all together, looking for the letter.
So, I guess I didn't set out to look through my files, it just ended up that way.

Was it worth it? Yeah. I really have come a very, very, very long way since then. It was good to see that.

[thinker22]

Reminds me of going through high school papers and journals. Man have I come a long way! Just knowing how messed up I was/am is big progress. So maybe at some point down the road it will be good to go back through my therapy journals if not my file to see that I'm actually growing and not as wounded as I used to be.

[chaotic13]

I think at the moment I am less worried about what is in my file and more worried about what could be retrieved from that file or what is submitted to insurance carriers or courts. I have nightmares about ending up in a custody battle and having my mental health records reviewed by others or having to defend myself in some way. I also think about insurance companies using these records to charge me more for coverage or my employer having access to my personal health info. I don't like having a file for big brother to nose around in.