I'm curious - how do you start and end your sessions with your T?

My T welcomes me with a "Hello" and sometimes asks how I am, or I will first ask her, and then she'll ask me. She rarely follows up on this, though - she waits until I'm settled in on the couch, and then she waits for me to start talking about whatever I want to discuss.

At the end of our session, we don't really wind down or anything. Sometimes, if I'm paying attention, I'll glance at the clock and see that we only have 5 minutes left, so I won't bring anything new up. My T will just say, "Okay, we have to stop now," to end the session, and then we exchange good-byes.

[deliquesce]

pdoc is so funny. i love how he starts his sessions, because it has become such a pattern and i cheer up just thinking about them. even better is that i'm not sure he's aware of how standardised the beginnings are, he does most of it quite unconsciously. it's so endearing .

typically, instead of coming fully into the waiting room to get me he will stick his head around the wall and point his toe out in the opposite direction (kind of like to balance?) and call my name. when i stand up he kind of snaps together like a toy soldier and does this funny little bow. and then when i get to him he will ask me how i am and we will walk down the coridoor together. he usually says something filler-ish about the weather at this point.

if i am very depressed he usually hangs behind me a step or two when we are walking to his room, because he assesses how stable i am on my feet (and general posture). it kind of makes me self conscious when i think about it now, but when i'm depressed i'm more intent on making it down the hallway without falling over or giving up half way.

if i am in a good mood (like recently!) he walks alongside me and tells me stupid pdoc jokes. i know this gives him so much pleasure because he has a new one prepared each week, even though he likes to pretend they are spontaneous. last week i almost died his joke was so bad (he was so pleased with himself too) and i actually pushed him away in a playful shove type of way. i have never ever touched pdoc before, and i was a bit horrified afterwards that i had done it (and worried that maybe i pushed too hard? maybe i shouldn't have touched him? other ppl saw and maybe it isn't good to do? does he think i'm bad because i touched him without asking? is it inappropriate [yes] to touch your pdoc like that? he's not my friend, eep!!) but he found it even funnier and repeated the bloody joke and walked around in a circle like a toy soldier (he's nuts) trying to act it out for me. this was in the hospital hallway, so we had a number of nurses and other psychiatrists watching us, too.

so then we will get into the room, and he will either say something about my bag or the furniture in the room and then he will show me the stuff he has stolen from the stationary cupboard since last time. he will also pull out Didier and Max from his bag, and tell me what they got up to during the week.

and then we will FINALLY get down to business (although the whole 'start' process usually takes no longer than a few minutes anyway). usually he follows up a few bits and pieces from the previous week, and then hands it over to me to discuss anything else i may want to bring up.

at the end of the session he will rummage around in his bag for the medicare slip for me to sign, so i know the session is over. he starts getting jokey again. if his earlier jokes have provoked enough of a response (i.e., a kill me now response) he will just repeat them, otherwise he tries to come up with something new. he is usually a lot more subdued at the end of session though, so i appreciate that. and then we will stand up, and he will open the door for me, and we will make small talk down the coridoor (what are your plans for the weekend? him: relax, me: study - it's never anything different or more detailed). and then we will get to the waiting room (which he actually fully walks into to pick up his next client?!) and he will do his funny little bow again and say "ok, deli, i will see you next week" and then he will call his next patient.

thank you for starting this thread, dreamseeker. obviously i am a bit taken with pdoc's idiocy today - sorry for the long gushing ramble .

I liked hearing about your pdoc, Deli. He sounds adorable

T usually pokes his head into the waiting room and says "ready?" and then he'll either step aside so I can walk into his office (I can feel him watching me and checking how I'm doing if I've been going through a rough time) or he'll say "go on in" and I'll go plop on the couch while he goes off to get some water or to the bathroom or whatever. I sit there and look around his office and try not to peek at the stuff on his desk

He settles into his chair and we usually have a moment of just kind of settling in and looking at each other (smiling if things are okay). He used to ask how I'm doing, but now things start more organically...I'll just start talking, or ask how he's doing, or he'll ask me a question. I tend to move all over the couch/his office while I'm there, so I'll lay on my tummy on the couch and kick my feet in the air or lean back and stretch my legs out on the couch or move to the other chair or whatever feels right.

I asked him at the beginning of therapy to let me know when the sessions are coming to an end, so a few minutes before the end, he'll say "we have to be done soon" and we'll kind of wrap things up. He is usually sitting with me by this point. So, we'll finish up and then he gets up to get the receipt and comes to sit by me to fill it out. He usually tries to make me laugh before I go, so he'll tell me something funny or make a joke about something that's going on. He gives me the receipt and then we stand up and he gives me a big hug and off I go.

I like the consistency at the beginning and end of the appointments. I just wish there was more consistency with him being THERE instead of on VACATION!

[Indie'sOK]

When mine comes to get me, I'll kind of quickly slide past her through the doorway (nervously as usual) into the hallway. The T's switch rooms with one another, depending on what day my appointment is, so I'm almost never in the same room from week to week. I'll sit down, she'll shut the door and sit down too. I always sit tucked into the very end of the couch - I'm too nervous to fully relax. She'll ask me how I did that week with my *problem*, and I'll tell her. We'll talk about it through the session, back and forth. I can tell when we're about done without looking at the clock (I hate looking at the clock), because we'll kind of move from a more in-depth discussion to a re-cap of what we talked about. I absolutely love being her last appointment of the day (or sometimes I'm her only appointment). If I'm her last and my parents want to talk to her as well, she'll let me go over a half-hour or so, just talking with us. It seems sweet to me, because I know this is time that she could be spending at home, away from her job.

[fallenangel337]

T always comes and pokes her head into the waiting room (I'm always sitting in the same place). Her office is literally two steps from the door to the waiting room, so she'll hold the door open for me, say " hi," and I go into her office...I always go first with her following behind. After we both sit down, she'll ask me how I'm doing, and we may or may not discuss that for a few minutes. Then it just kind of goes from there...whatever comes up...

Towards the end, she'll say something like "well, we've got about five minutes left..." or something to that effect. That's usually if we're talking about a pressing issue, or there is a pressing issue there to talk about. If it's a more minor discussion, she'll just kind of say, "well, I hope you have a good week. Can we look at the schedule for next week?" I love how she phrases that...I find it cute/funny. It's like she's asking my permission to look at the schedule, or something to that effect. xD

[Lenny Lee]

pdoc always starts with me cause i always like to be the first
one and every ones ok with it. shes got her own office with no one else and a wait room and theres a play room that if i want we could meet there but mostly we go in her office cause other older people are gonna be there after me. she has a bowl of candy and any one can have some when their waiting and mostly i like the
chocolate. shes got lots of stuff to read and do in her wait room so no one could get bored and theres music to. she comes out and gets me and sometimes helps me carry stuff if i got a lot cause i always got my shoes off and have to carry them. shes always smiling and says a nice cheery hi. she goes in or me first and she shuts the door and i sit where ever i want and she has her chair she always sits in. we talk about my letter cause i send her one every week but some times she didnt have time to read it so i tell her about it or if any thing is bothering me. some times i m there for the whole time but most times some one else or a few others see her and talk about their stuff. before some one else comes to see her me and her hug each other. at the end she always asks for my brother cause he does the driving and they hug to. last time she gave him some bubble gum for me and a stuffy to borrow for a while for one of the little kids. thats mostly how it goes but some times some one else could come first if theres real important stuff to tell her. shes real neat and i love her

from lenny lee

[del12]

I was wondering if anyone thinks this is odd. My old T would open the door to the waiting room and just stand there and say nothing. When I looked up I would go thru the door and he would nod. Nothing would be said until I sat down on the couch and he would look thru his notes and then would say well? As time went on I thought this was odd so there were a few times as I read a magazine I didn't keep on eye on the door especially when he was running late and he would come to the door and never make a noise or address me. I always wondered how long he would stand there. It really bugged me and I thought it was quite rude.
Occasionally I would say hi as I walked through the door and he never responded. It got to a point when I would go to his "office" I would just sit there waiting for him to start. One time he said something about me not saying anything and I said I was waiting for him to finish reading his notes so as to not interrupt his train of thought. He kinda of gave me a dirty look and then went on.
Was I being to sensitive or do you think it was odd or rude not to greet?

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by del12

I was wondering if anyone thinks this is odd. My old T would open the door to the waiting room and just stand there and say nothing. When I looked up I would go thru the door and he would nod. Nothing would be said until I sat down on the couch and he would look thru his notes and then would say well? As time went on I thought this was odd so there were a few times as I read a magazine I didn't keep on eye on the door especially when he was running late and he would come to the door and never make a noise or address me. I always wondered how long he would stand there. It really bugged me and I thought it was quite rude.
Occasionally I would say hi as I walked through the door and he never responded. It got to a point when I would go to his "office" I would just sit there waiting for him to start. One time he said something about me not saying anything and I said I was waiting for him to finish reading his notes so as to not interrupt his train of thought. He kinda of gave me a dirty look and then went on.
Was I being to sensitive or do you think it was odd or rude not to greet?

Hiya,
I think he was being rude. I mean really, we give our T's very personal information. I think we should at least get a little hello at the beginning of each session He gave you a dirty look? Geez, I thought, as clients, we were allowed to say whatever we wanted to without being judged.

[del12]

Originally Posted by IndieSoul

Hiya,
I think he was being rude. I mean really, we give our T's very personal information. I think we should at least get a little hello at the beginning of each session He gave you a dirty look? Geez, I thought, as clients, we were allowed to say whatever we wanted to without being judged.

So did I, but since he was my 1st T I had ever gone to "dummy me". He is so rude and to describe him a "cold fish". I guess I should have asked him why he never greeted me the day I quit but I was so upset I couldn't even think. Looking back I think he was lazy and could have carelessed how I felt or what my problems were he was there just to collect a pay check and promote his therapy He followed a specific woman's idea of how to deal with abuse and all other psychological problems. SHe was on Oprah once and he got all excited and wanted me to watch her. I think she is about as nutty as they come and has a huge following sucking in all those poor souls money. Thank God my good senses wouldn't allow me to get sucked in and I fought it all the way. (Sorry got off topic a little)

My T now always greets me with a smile and a warm hello and if I have a hard time getting started my T steps right in. I am blessed.

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by del12

So did I, but since he was my 1st T I had ever gone to "dummy me". He is so rude and to describe him a "cold fish". I guess I should have asked him why he never greeted me the day I quit but I was so upset I couldn't even think. Looking back I think he was lazy and could have carelessed how I felt or what my problems were he was there just to collect a pay check and promote his therapy He followed a specific woman's idea of how to deal with abuse and all other psychological problems. SHe was on Oprah once and he got all excited and wanted me to watch her. I think she is about as nutty as they come and has a huge following sucking in all those poor souls money. Thank God my good senses wouldn't allow me to get sucked in and I fought it all the way. (Sorry got off topic a little)

My T now always greets me with a smile and a warm hello and if I have a hard time getting started my T steps right in. I am blessed.

I'm glad you eventually found a much better T, but I'm very sorry you had to go through all that One of my biggest fears is that my T is only there to collect a paycheck. I've told her about how I've read that some people think that T's don't really care about us, that it's just a job to them and nothing more. She agreed with me, saying that for some people, it is. I guess we've all just got to "weed through" the T's until we find the right one. Yours sounds very nice, indeed

del, I'm glad you have a wonderful T now. I think your old T was indeed stuffy and rude - sorry you had to endure that behavior!

[fallenangel337]

Deli, your pdoc sounds super adorable! Just saying.

[mightaswelllive]

I like these types of threads!

Starting
In the waiting room I always sit in the seat by the door unless someone is in my seat or the seat next to it and then I sit on the couch. It makes me too nervous to sit on the other side the room because then I can see down the hall. So T walks down the hall and she's so lanky and awkward and even sometimes a little hesitant. If I'm not paying attention she will call me by my short name (which no one does - and I love it) otherwise she will wave be back. She walks in front of me and then stands at the door and ushers me with an arm out (ugh she's so awk, I really love it). I go in drop my bag on the floor and sort of pirouette onto my couch and she follows, muddles around her desk grabbing notes and my file and then sits down and asks about my week and we begin. Sometimes she says, "How be you?" and I think that is the strangest greeting ever and it always catches me off guard. Usually I could give a lot more detail about things but I get so nervous when I'm coming in for session that usually I spend the 5 minute before and the first 5 minutes trying to remember to breathe.

Ending
She lets me go all the way up to the hour and sometimes over because I usually have a hard time really getting into work until the last 15 minutes. We don't have much of a wind down routine but I she will start fidgeting with her papers a little more and will make a shift in the conversation to business - things like scheduling or insurance. Eventually she will get up and move to her desk. We have two sessions a week so the first one is always scheduling and the second is always money. I like it when it takes a minute to figure things out because by then I have started to get up and usually I will end up sitting in her chair (oh mighty T chair) or looking at all the things on her bookshelf. Usually the goodbye moment is filled with lingering awkwardness where I try to manage a "thank you" or a "see you next time." Usually she opens the door and follows me out a little but sometimes I open the door and I hate that because I don't like to touch germy things like doorknobs. ew.

Summation: Beginnings and Ends = wonderful awkwardness.

[mightaswelllive]

I always go into way too much detail on these things. I guess I really notice a lot.... it's funny because when I was talking about starting, I said, "Usually I could give a lot more detail.."

[deliquesce]

Originally Posted by fallenangel337

Deli, your pdoc sounds super adorable! Just saying.

lol, thank you ((((fallenangel)))). he's a really great man, and i love that he really is his own brand of crazy. i wish everyone could have a pdoc as wonderful as mine .

[mixedup_emotions]

I am usually sitting alone in the waiting room, and my T opens the waiting room door to lead me in. I go into his office and am always the one who asks him how he's doing. He then asks me how I'm doing...and then I respond with "panicky" most of the time - LOL...and then start talking. Many times, I have my journal ready too and we start by reading them.

Towards the end of the session, he'll say something like, "Before we close, how are you feeling about what we've done so far"....or "We have to come to a close, but briefly what are you taking away from this session"....Sometimes, if time is cutting too close, he'll grab his appointment book to prepare to set up the next appt. which is an indication to me that it's time to finish up.

He then opens his office door and I walk myself out.

[peaches100]

I sit down in the waiting room, in the seat closest to the hallway unless it's taken. My t comes down the hallway and invites me back to her office. We walk together, then she lets me enter the room first and she walks in behind me and closes the door.

She asks something like "How are things going?" or "Do you have something specific you want to make sure we address today?" and I tell her. Then, before we start talking about any issues, we do a 5- to 10-mindfulness exercise together. She talks me through it, asking me at intervals to concentrate on sounds, or physical sensations, or emotions, and then always directing my attention back to my breathing.

During the last minute of the exercise, she tells me she is going to match her breathing to mine and each time we exhale, she says "Ahhhhhhhhh." She always invites me to join with her in making the relaxing sound, but i usually feel too timid, so i just listen to her. If I can relax enough and not feel uptight, the exercise makes me feel very connected with her. I tell her when i want to stop. (She told me recently that we always do 7 breaths, which is just coincidence because i don't count them.) The reason i don't let the breathing together go on longer is because i want closeness, but also fear it, so i am afraid of feeling too good or close.

After that, we discuss my issues. Usually, i have something in mind that i want to talk about. If not, she directs the discussion to something she thinks would be helpful for me, or she will ask some questions about how I'm doing and see where that leads us to.

We're usually deep into therapy work by the time the hour is up. Although my t tries to take the last 5 minutes or so to help me wrap things up, it can be hard for me to contain everything and switch back into normal mode. She usually has me visualize putting any remaining distress into a sealed box, and escorting any child parts of myself to their safe places. If I've done any dissociating, she makes sure i'm grounded by throwing a pillow back and forth or having me feel my feet on the floor and the couch against my back, etc. I also ask her "What do you want me to work on this week?" and she tells me.

When i leave, she stands up but doesn't follow me to the door. I thank her and we say goodbye.

[mightaswelllive]

Originally Posted by peaches100

I sit down in the waiting room, in the seat closest to the hallway unless it's taken. My t comes down the hallway and invites me back to her office. We walk together, then she lets me enter the room first and she walks in behind me and closes the door.

She asks something like "How are things going?" or "Do you have something specific you want to make sure we address today?" and I tell her. Then, before we start talking about any issues, we do a 5- to 10-mindfulness exercise together. She talks me through it, asking me at intervals to concentrate on sounds, or physical sensations, or emotions, and then always directing my attention back to my breathing.

During the last minute of the exercise, she tells me she is going to match her breathing to mine and each time we exhale, she says "Ahhhhhhhhh." She always invites me to join with her in making the relaxing sound, but i usually feel too timid, so i just listen to her. If I can relax enough and not feel uptight, the exercise makes me feel very connected with her. I tell her when i want to stop. (She told me recently that we always do 7 breaths, which is just coincidence because i don't count them.) The reason i don't let the breathing together go on longer is because i want closeness, but also fear it, so i am afraid of feeling too good or close.

After that, we discuss my issues. Usually, i have something in mind that i want to talk about. If not, she directs the discussion to something she thinks would be helpful for me, or she will ask some questions about how I'm doing and see where that leads us to.

We're usually deep into therapy work by the time the hour is up. Although my t tries to take the last 5 minutes or so to help me wrap things up, it can be hard for me to contain everything and switch back into normal mode. She usually has me visualize putting any remaining distress into a sealed box, and escorting any child parts of myself to their safe places. If I've done any dissociating, she makes sure i'm grounded by throwing a pillow back and forth or having me feel my feet on the floor and the couch against my back, etc. I also ask her "What do you want me to work on this week?" and she tells me.

When i leave, she stands up but doesn't follow me to the door. I thank her and we say goodbye.

Wow sounds like you've got a great T. She seems very aware.

I always feel nervous doing those little exercises and I am rarely willing to participate but it sounds like they must be very helpful when used with some persistence.

[Amazonmom]

I walk in the waiting area about 2-3 minutes before the session. I have a favorite chair ...but sometimes the client waiting for my T's husband is sitting there!!!!!!! T then opens the door to her top secret therapisation room and usually says "Hello, Madam" while inviting me into the room. I flop onto the couch in the back corner of the room. Then the therapisation begins.

She asks about my mood. She wants more than a one word answer LOL. Then we get into the subject of the week.

She eases me back out of therapisation by talking about lighter stuff, and making the next appointment. Sometimes she tells a joke...sometimes we talk about gardening, or my daughter. Sometimes she talks about herself.

And then I am ejected from therapisation. I walk out of the room feeling very sad that I have to wait another week for more therapy.

Originally Posted by peaches100

She asks something like "How are things going?" or "Do you have something specific you want to make sure we address today?" and I tell her. Then, before we start talking about any issues, we do a 5- to 10-mindfulness exercise together. She talks me through it, asking me at intervals to concentrate on sounds, or physical sensations, or emotions, and then always directing my attention back to my breathing.

During the last minute of the exercise, she tells me she is going to match her breathing to mine and each time we exhale, she says "Ahhhhhhhhh." She always invites me to join with her in making the relaxing sound, but i usually feel too timid, so i just listen to her. If I can relax enough and not feel uptight, the exercise makes me feel very connected with her. I tell her when i want to stop. (She told me recently that we always do 7 breaths, which is just coincidence because i don't count them.) The reason i don't let the breathing together go on longer is because i want closeness, but also fear it, so i am afraid of feeling too good or close.

peaches, that sounds very intense! What type of therapy does your T use?

She usually has me visualize putting any remaining distress into a sealed box, and escorting any child parts of myself to their safe places.

How does your T bring out your child parts, or do they just come out on their own as you're talking in therapy?

[peaches100]

Originally Posted by dreamseeker9

peaches, that sounds very intense! What type of therapy does your T use?

How does your T bring out your child parts, or do they just come out on their own as you're talking in therapy?

Dreamseeker,

I don't know what kind of therapy she uses. I think it is a mixture of several types. She has tried different things with me and taken training to learn more so she can help me.

She invites "all parts of me" to be in the room. Sometimes she asks, "What part of you do you suppose is feeling that way? or "Is there a certain part of you that needs to have expression today?" or "What does that part of you need from me today to decrease some of your anxiety?" Things like that.

[peaches100]

Wow sounds like you've got a great T. She seems very aware.

I always feel nervous doing those little exercises and I am rarely willing to participate but it sounds like they must be very helpful when used with some persistence.[/quote]

[peaches100]

Mightaswelllive said,

Wow sounds like you've got a great T. She seems very aware.

Thanks. She really tries hard with me.

I always feel nervous doing those little exercises and I am rarely willing to participate but it sounds like they must be very helpful when used with some persistence.

We've been doing the breathing for several months. Some days, I manage a tiny "Ahh" when we do it.