[googley]

I have been having these strong urges to call my T between sessions because I have been feeling really depressed. I'm not going to do it tonight as I see her and my pdoc both tomorrow. I don't usually call my T except if I need to cancel or reschedule. I think in the three years I have been seeing her I have called my T three times because I needed to talk to her. She has always said that I could call her between sessions if I needed to. I was wondering how other people who's T allow phone contact decide if it is important enough to call or if one should wait until the next session. Even when I have had to call I have always felt bad about distubing her even if I just leave a message and she calls back later. Thanks.

[rainbow8]

I called my T when I couldn't distract myself from NOT calling anymore. When my thoughts about wanting to call interfered with my ability to function in my life. I know that I sometimes called her when I probably could have held off. Later on in therapy when she wanted me to try waiting and not calling her in between my weekly sessions, I could do it. But when I found myself sitting next to the phone in a kind of trance, panicking about whether to call or not, I knew I had to call.

My calls weren't about anything traumatic, either. They were about wanting to stay connected to her. If you feel a need to call your T because you feel more depressed, then by all means call her! She's given you permission, and it's her job to help you. If you start calling her too much, she will tell you. I hope you feel better soon!

[fallenangel337]

I've called outside of sessions for reasons other than rescheduling twice. It was after a traumatic event happened, and I was 300 miles away from home, so I really needed the comfort and familiarity of her reassurance. She's told me I can call if I need to, but i usually try to save it for the hardcore stuff, if at all possible.

[mixedup_emotions]

My T says that if I am triggered by something, that I should call to see if he can fit me in for an earlier appt. He prefers, if at all possible, to have contact in person.

I've e-mailed and called and left messages....most times, he doesn't respond or even acknowledge them - which irks me at times - unless it's extremely important or I'm in a dangerous situation. Otherwise, he waits until my session to address it - and prefers that print copies of the e-mails to hold myself accountable to talk about them. I kinda don't know what the point is in even e-mailing him sometimes....

He has made it clear that he has been very busy over the last couple months. Makes me feel kinda unimportant....so I'd rather not contact him, because it sets me up for waiting in anticipation for acknowledgement or a return call....and then disappointed when it doesn't happen (even when I specifically ask for a return call).

[Amazonmom]

I haven't called her very much. There is always a pressing need, like icky side effects from drugs...or I need to cancel or schedule appts. If she asks me to call and make an appt or to call and update her on how the hypomania is going...I always call.

If I ask her to call back she always does. I have emailed her a couple of times and the printouts are in my file. The things I ask her about when I'm hypomanic are hilarious!!!!!

When normal or depressed...I think it would take an act of God to get me to call or email her...I don't want to need her outside of session.

[fallenangel337]

She's told me to call if I ever have any pressing suicidal thoughts, and if I felt like I was in danger. Stuff like that. Since my situation with my former friend, she's told me to call her immediately if he tries to contact me, if I see him, or if I even have a bad gut feeling about him.

Originally Posted by Amazonmom

I have emailed her a couple of times and the printouts are in my file.

Off topic, but you've seen your file!

[Amazonmom]

She's there for you...that's good.

I thought of something else...it's like I don't want the therapy stuff to touch my real life....if I don't contact her outside of her sessions I can pretend the stuff didn't happen to me.

I haven't sat down and read my file, but T is usually holding it and writing notes. I saw the printouts, and she told me what kind of stuff goes in the file. I would puke if I saw her notes about me...don't wanna read those!

(T writing)
OMG! My client is such a freak! Her trust issues are legendary! Why does she keep whining about her crap? Can't wait until she goes hypomanic and then she might actually talk....

Originally Posted by fallenangel337

Off topic, but you've seen your file!

[fallenangel337]

Originally Posted by Amazonmom

She's there for you...that's good.

I haven't sat down and read my file, but T is usually holding it and writing notes. I saw the printouts, and she told me what kind of stuff goes in the file. I would puke if I saw her notes about me...don't wanna read those!

(T writing)
OMG! My client is such a freak! Her trust issues are legendary! Why does she keep whining about her crap? Can't wait until she goes hypomanic and then she might actually talk....

I'd actually really like to see mine. She was writing notes in it the very first session I had with her, but I haven't seen it since then. I'm actually extremely curious to see its contents.

[sittingatwatersedge]

I got very triggered at one point and timing was terrible, T had just started vacation so I just muddled through. by the time my appt came up, I had combed through it all a million times.

when I got finished telling her what happened, and how I felt about it at first & later, to my amazement she said I am proud of you; you recognized that you were triggered, you traced the feelings back to their source, and were able to come to a reasonable understanding of what actually happened.
so I thought... I did that? OK, then it's good that I didn't call you while on vacation; now I know what I have to do / even can do myself

and then she added, which amazed me more,
Oh but you should have called me! and not just suffer through all that for two weeks.
so I thought... Oh - I thought you said - but I - never mind.

I couldn't even articulate the fact that I wanted clarification. Since then I've tried to bring this up twice and never seem to get to an answer; maybe she just doesn't wants to set definite rules on when TO call. when NOT to call is much easier; not if it's a 911 kind of situation - call 911; and not on weekends if it can be helped (she would probably bend even that).

[googley]

I worry about bothering my T outside of session. I feel like I get my time, and then I shouldn't bother her other times. I worry about interrupting whatever she is doing. Though today she said to definitely call her if I needed to. I'm never sure.

[mightaswelllive]

I call T a lot but she is very caring about it. I always express how much I hate bothering her but she doesn't seem to mind. I try to hold off on calling until I start to lose it a little, but not until I'm totally gone because I know she won't answer and I'll have to wait for her to call me back. She usually calls back within the hour though so it's fine. I think, if you're feeling like a danger to yourself, or you're unable to otherwise keep it together - it's ok to call (assuming your T is cool with calls).

Originally Posted by googley

I worry about bothering my T outside of session. I feel like I get my time, and then I shouldn't bother her other times. I worry about interrupting whatever she is doing. Though today she said to definitely call her if I needed to. I'm never sure.

(((((((((((((((googley)))))))))))))

It took me a long time to wrap my mind around this concept (and I'm still working on it) but if T says I can call, he MEANS IT. In fact, if it's a bad time for me to contact him outside of session, he will let me know ("i'm going to be away this weekend and won't be able to get calls" or whatever).

If you need to call, call. She wouldn't tell you to if it wasn't okay. Good T's don't play games. I'm sure she means what she says.

How are you doing? Do you still feel like you need to call??

[googley]

Thanks for the advice.

Treehouse, right now I'm feeling better. I saw T and pdoc yesterday and that helped a lot. I was able to get full night's sleep last night and it helped. I've just been feeling really depressed and stressed out. Feeling really bad is intermittent, the rest of the time it is a tolerable bad.

[rainbow8]

I'm glad you're feeling better.

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by Amazonmom

I haven't sat down and read my file, but T is usually holding it and writing notes. I saw the printouts, and she told me what kind of stuff goes in the file. I would puke if I saw her notes about me...don't wanna read those!

LOL-- Files are fun to read though! Never be afraid of a good T's file.

(T writing)
OMG! My client is such a freak! Her trust issues are legendary! Why does she keep whining about her crap? Can't wait until she goes hypomanic and then she might actually talk....

LMAO... you know, I make my T respond to a lot of stuff in session, that way I know what he's thinking and don't read into his silence (which is when I'm talking). I've read half of my file. I have no desire to read the rest of it, now that I know how he thinks and what he writes. It's all benign and professional and he doesn't just write down what I say for the heck of it to fill in the white space (like stupid senile old Pdoc did--I don't see him anymore--shudder).

One time recently (and I've never had this happen before), I couldn't talk at all, so I didn't. I couldn't vocalize my emotions and felt paralyzed. I wanted to talk, but just couldn't...I wonder what he wrote in my file that day??

[thinker22]

I always feel awkward about emailing, calling or leaving messages between sessions. I've only ever done it with the T about scheduling the next appt (and fitting in another short note w/said email if I feel compelled). With my P-doc it's only if I'm getting horrible side effects with my medication(s). Like severe depression, blurred vision, etc. But even then I feel bad calling even though everyone tells me I should, my partner included. So I think I'm probably too overcautious. So, we conscientious people can probably afford to call more often and stop worrying that the professionals who are there to help us will think we're too needy or stalkers. Haha

[deliquesce]

not wanting to start a new thread of my own, just a quick question: i'd like to ask pdoc if he can offer me an earlier session this week. i have his mobile number and usually txt instead of calling.

usually i would wait until monday to do something so non-urgent, but i'm stuck in obsessive rumination mode, and will obsess about this (on top of everything else) until then.

do you think it's ok to send him a txt now? i dont expect a reply until mon/tues, and it's ok if i cant get an appt, i just need to break this obsessing cycle somehow.

i kind of feel a bit crap about invading his weekend, i try my hardest to only use his mobile during business hours.

Originally Posted by deliquesce

do you think it's ok to send him a txt now? i dont expect a reply until mon/tues, and it's ok if i cant get an appt, i just need to break this obsessing cycle somehow.

i kind of feel a bit crap about invading his weekend, i try my hardest to only use his mobile during business hours.

Deli -

I think it is TOTALLY okay, as long as you won't send yourself into a *new* cycle of ruminating about contacting pdoc on the weekend.

[deliquesce]

thank you darling. i am doing a lot better today, so haven't txted him yet. i probably will later this arvo though, just because i know he is busy on mondays and forgets to check his phone, and i really do want to see him earlier than friday if i can.

you are right about me falling into a new cycle... so maybe if i postpone the actual txting until this arvo i will only have a few hours to beat myself up .

thank you for being so gorgeous to me always .

[sittingatwatersedge]

Deli - Hope you were able to get your earlier session.

I finally gave up and asked T if I could come in 2 wks instead of 4 wks and she said yes. I have lost a battle here.... and unfortunately I don't even want to go really, it's going to be one of those "is it possible T that you are really as cruel as I see you to be?!" sessions, before I can get on with business. I hate these, they are so humiliating but it is where I am "at" all right.....

[thinker22]

Sometimes I feel like I'm barely hanging on by my fingernails between therapy sessions and I go every week. I don't even understand why because once I get there, I'm not even sure we deal with anything or how I'm being helped. I mean, other than getting the bipolar diagnosis, which has been super enlightening. I feel so insecure right now, but it is a new therapist (6 wks now) and it seems like there are a hundred topics to discuss/process so I never know where to begin. I don't really plan what I want to go over for the next session, I just want to skip to the day of my therapy because I feel so uneasy most of the time. Anyone else understand? I feel so lost in this thing called therapy. This is the first time I've gone just for me, not for anyone else.

Originally Posted by thinker22

I always feel awkward about emailing, calling or leaving messages between sessions. I've only ever done it with the T about scheduling the next appt (and fitting in another short note w/said email if I feel compelled). With my P-doc it's only if I'm getting horrible side effects with my medication(s). Like severe depression, blurred vision, etc. But even then I feel bad calling even though everyone tells me I should,

I'm the same and will only call about a scheduling issue or if I need letters for Uni from my pdoc etc. I've NEVER called my T btwn sessions and none of my 3 Ts have ever suggested calling/emailing btwn sessions if I need to. I've never felt able to ask and I think, even if she said i cud, I wouldnt want to bother her! I apologised to my pdoc this week about 4 times for ringing her about my new meds (my brain is stuffed atm and even though we went through my new regime twice, and i then wrote it down, i still didnt get it! The joy of brain fog! lol)

It must be nice to have that there if u need it though, and i think you should use it if u have to. I'm sure T wud want to know...

*Willow*

Originally Posted by thinker22

I just want to skip to the day of my therapy because I feel so uneasy most of the time. Anyone else understand? I feel so lost in this thing called therapy. This is the first time I've gone just for me, not for anyone else.

I was REALLY like this when I started therapy. It's a LOT better now.

Although, now when it gets to therapy day, I just want to not go to therapy because once I go, the waiting starts again

[chaotic13]

Originally Posted by treehouse

It took me a long time to wrap my mind around this concept (and I'm still working on it) but if T says I can call, he MEANS IT.

LOL, LOL,LOL..
Why is this such a difficult concept for me to comprehend? Actually, I have finally GOTTEN it. I no long agonize over, in my case, the SEND or DON'T SEND decision.

I think it is hard for us because therapy is likely the first time we've attempted to establish good communications with someone who...is GOOD at communicating. It took me a long time to figure out that if my T didn't think something was a good idea, or thought I was overstepping a boundary...she would directly communicate that with me. My T knows how to say no and is likely very good at saying it. I don't have to look for subtle little cues to tell me I'm being a pain. She will TELL me and some how be nice about it.

Originally Posted by chaotic13

I think it is hard for us because therapy is likely the first time we've attempted to establish good communications with someone who...is GOOD at communicating. It took me a long time to figure out that if my T didn't think something was a good idea, or thought I was overstepping a boundary...she would directly communicate that with me. My T knows how to say no and is likely very good at saying it. I don't have to look for subtle little cues to tell me I'm being a pain. She will TELL me and some how be nice about it.

YES! Exactly.