[sw628]

Are there any topics that a T and client can't discuss? I disclosed a bit of information to T and have yet to hear a response. Part of me thinks that I offended T with my comments in some way. I really hope I didn't. T wanted me to email her my thoughts. It was regarding a pretty controversial topic. I don't know what to do. What if she hates me?

[fallenangel337]

She shouldn't hate you for expressing your thoughts. There shouldn't be ANYTHING that you can't bring to your T.

[chaotic13]

Boy, in the past 2 years I have gone places that I thought were clearly in the unspeakable zone. A lot of the times I tested these zones via written communications first. There is a certain comfort and protection in doing it this way, but like everything there are risks too. One risk is that you are often left with waiting for a reaction or response and in my case running worst case scenarios over and over in your head. Another disadvantage is that the words and meaning conveyed by them might not be initially interpreted accurately. In face to face exchanges body language and other things help convey meaning and context. Some times written exchanges require more work and tolerance to really get to a position of understanding.

Honestly, I think Ts are really skilled communicators who are good at handling miscommunications and don't get offended easily. Be patient, even if by slim chance you did enter into some thing offensive, your T will handle it openly and directly in a way that you will benefit from.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by sw628

Are there any topics that a T and client can't discuss? I disclosed a bit of information to T and have yet to hear a response. Part of me thinks that I offended T with my comments in some way. I really hope I didn't. T wanted me to email her my thoughts. It was regarding a pretty controversial topic. I don't know what to do. What if she hates me?

She is not going to hate you because you raised an uncomfortable/controversial topic. She probably just hasn't had time to respond or is not working this weekend. My T doesn't respond to emails on the weekends because he is not working.

I think if a T feels there is a topic that can't be discussed, then they should tell the client that directly and professionally when the client raises that topic. They are schooled to be direct in their communication. If the T hasn't said that topic is off limits, then you shouldn't assume you can't talk about it. If you had raised the topic in person instead of by email, you would have a lot of information on how open your T is to discussing it from their reaction, facial expressions, tone of voice, and their immediate verbal response. For controversial topics, it might be best to keep those for in person interactions.

I did notice once that my family T changed the topic rather rapidly when somehow (with my teenage daughter present), we got into a discussion of clients suing their therapists and what kind of malpractice insurance he carried. Poor T. He didn't want to dwell on that, and actually, he wasn't too artful in how he changed the subject, lol. We weren't suggesting we wanted to sue him or anything, we just somehow got to talking about this. (Actually I remember now, he tripped over a rug in his office and made the comment that better him than a client because he didn't want to get sued.) We did find out that yes, he carries malpractice and liability insurance. (Later I looked up how much it costs to insure and it is not much for a T.)

Sorry for the detour. sw628, just hang tight and when you see your T, you can bring up your controversial topic. (You can also ask her to clarify email policies so you know if you can expect responses on weekends.)

[lilacbutterfly]

My T have had this conversation recently. I have asked, and he has assured me, that I can bring absolutely anything to him and he will help me with it. He has said it's really hard to offend him, and that even if he were to get angry with me, which he really wouldn't because there's not much that he gets angry about, we would work through it together. He's been very clear that I can talk about anything with him.

[sw628]

Originally Posted by sunrise

She is not going to hate you because you raised an uncomfortable/controversial topic. She probably just hasn't had time to respond or is not working this weekend. My T doesn't respond to emails on the weekends because he is not working.

I think if a T feels there is a topic that can't be discussed, then they should tell the client that directly and professionally when the client raises that topic. They are schooled to be direct in their communication. If the T hasn't said that topic is off limits, then you shouldn't assume you can't talk about it. If you had raised the topic in person instead of by email, you would have a lot of information on how open your T is to discussing it from their reaction, facial expressions, tone of voice, and their immediate verbal response. For controversial topics, it might be best to keep those for in person interactions.

I did notice once that my family T changed the topic rather rapidly when somehow (with my teenage daughter present), we got into a discussion of clients suing their therapists and what kind of malpractice insurance he carried. Poor T. He didn't want to dwell on that, and actually, he wasn't too artful in how he changed the subject, lol. We weren't suggesting we wanted to sue him or anything, we just somehow got to talking about this. (Actually I remember now, he tripped over a rug in his office and made the comment that better him than a client because he didn't want to get sued.) We did find out that yes, he carries malpractice and liability insurance. (Later I looked up how much it costs to insure and it is not much for a T.)

Sorry for the detour. sw628, just hang tight and when you see your T, you can bring up your controversial topic. (You can also ask her to clarify email policies so you know if you can expect responses on weekends.)

Actually T raised the issue herself ( in person) and I was so taken back that I couldn't find the right words.When I'm in deep thought, it usually takes me a while to gather my brain. She told me to send her an email and let her know what I was thinking. So the topic was raised in person, just to be clear. And yes, T does respond on weekends. I can contact T anytime. She's awesome that way

[sunrise]

sw, if T raised the topic herself, then she is OK with talking about it. Rest easy!