Treehouse's post today reminded me that I have an upcoming conference and will have to miss my session. I could either reschedule my session with T but do a phone session, or I could skip that week. I've only talked with T on the phone twice - when I called to set up my very first appointment, and then when I had to reschedule a session a few weeks ago. I really like T's voice on the phone (hope that doesn't sound weird). But I don't know if it would be better to just skip the week and then be face to face with T again.

T is on vacation for another 2 weeks, and then I'll have 3 sessions before I either have the phone session or skip a week. My concern with skipping a week is that we'll just start getting back into some heavy issues, after our 4-week break, only to have to put them on hold for 2 weeks. But maybe I'm just overthinking the whole situation - I tend to do that.

So, any thoughts on the pros and cons of a phone session? Or any good stories from past phone sessions?

My T says he's not good on the phone. I think sometimes that is SO true, and sometimes he is able to give me just what I need. I've never actually had a "phone session" with him, although we have talked for 20 -30 minutes a few times. We usually spend around 15 minutes on the phone. (I'm not having a phone session today - just touching base)

For ME, I'm not sure a phone session would work. I can use the phone to touch base or to get help in a crisis, but I'm not sure I could open up a new issue on the phone, or even really talk about an old one unless it was REALLY pushing me over the edge. I need to see T to be able to kind of "read" him and know I'm safe and he's not thinking bad things about me.

On the other hand, I've read of people here having really good phone sessions (Miss C? Are you out there?), so I guess it kind of depends on you and your T.

I can REALLY relate to not wanting a big break right after your big break! Maybe a phone session is a good solution to that

[SpottedOwl]

I've had a phone session twice -- both times because I got sick and it was too late to reschedule. So, rather than having to pay for a missed session, we did it via the phone.

At first I was very skeptical. No, they are not the same as the in-person sessions, but I did find them both to be useful.

A few ideas that seemed to help me:
-Make sure you have TOTAL privacy for the call. Do your best to create a safe place wherever you are, just like you have in T's office.
-T started out the call by asking me to describe my surroundings. I ended up sharing some things with T about my home and myself that he didn't know before, and it also helped me to feel more connected to start by describing where I was.
-If you have a headset, use it. That way your arm and shoulder don't hurt from having to hold the phone for an hour.

It is not something I would want to do regularly, but it is nice to know we can connect via the phone if I am unable to see T in person.

[Yoda]

I have never had phone sessions with my therapists but I did have phone sessions with my son's psychiatrist a few years ago. I asked for them to save us money because my son has no insurance. We would do every other session by phone. If I felt my son needed to be seen for a possible med change I had the option to schedule an office appt.

hi dreamseeker. i've been doing phone sessions with my t for awhile now since it is too hard for me to get to her appts due to my health. it works just fine for me. i do tend to like talking on the phone so that could help.

[BlueMoon6]

Hi Dream. Like Tree- I have never actually hasd a phone session with a therapist b/c I need to "read" them as well. I have talked on the phone for longer periods of time, but not a session where I would open up. Even still, touching base or bringing up something safe/easier that you need to talk about might be good. Especially if you havent spoken to him in a while- to reconnect. You might even feel comfortable enough for something heavier if the conversation goes well.

Originally Posted by clk6

Hi Dream. Like Tree- I have never actually hasd a phone session with a therapist b/c I need to "read" them as well. I have talked on the phone for longer periods of time, but not a session where I would open up. Even still, touching base or bringing up something safe/easier that you need to talk about might be good. Especially if you havent spoken to him in a while- to reconnect. You might even feel comfortable enough for something heavier if the conversation goes well.

Interesting that you and Tree bring this up. In one session, I unloaded a bunch onto my T and then worried all week about what she must think of me. I brought it up the next week, and T said that I felt okay when I told her because we were face to face, connecting, and I could look at her and know it was okay, and also that I was there in front of her to remind her that I'm a good person. So I wonder if I would be a lot more reserved over the phone.

I'll discuss it with T and see what she thinks. I tend to think that she prefers to do sessions face to face. I trust T's judgment, and I also may wait to see where we are after those 3 session when T comes back from vacation.

[BlueMoon6]

Originally Posted by dreamseeker9

T said that I felt okay when I told her because we were face to face, connecting, and I could look at her and know it was okay, and also that I was there in front of her to remind her that I'm a good person. So I wonder if I would be a lot more reserved over the phone.

You know, in the other thread about love I said something about feeling less secure and wanting her more when I wasnt there b/c I felt forgotten when I wasnt with her. Its sort of the same thing. You know she cares when you are there and you talk and you are a good person no matter what you say, but when you arent there you wonder what you felt when you were talking. Are you still the same good person?

Does that make sense?

[rainbow8]

I had a phone session once when I was getting over the flu. I liked it! I cuddled up under a blanket with a cup of tea. I felt MORE comfortable talking with her about some things because she couldn't see me, so I wasn't so embarrassed. I wouldn't have liked doing phone sessions regularly, but for me it worked out well that one time.

Originally Posted by clk6

You know, in the other thread about love I said something about feeling less secure and wanting her more when I wasnt there b/c I felt forgotten when I wasnt with her. Its sort of the same thing. You know she cares when you are there and you talk and you are a good person no matter what you say, but when you arent there you wonder what you felt when you were talking. Are you still the same good person?

Does that make sense?

Yes, that makes sense. We are the center of attention in session, but outside of session, we lose that sense of being cared for and supported... or at least I do. And then that does lend to self-doubt.

[gravyyy]

I actually found an online therapist once and we had phone sessions after a while which I thought were helpful. Then my condition worsened and I went to an in-person therapist and found that to be so much more helpful. That being said, depending on where your work is with T, maybe it would be helpful to have a phone session just for continuity rather than taking time off. I have talked to my T on the phone a few times since I started 2 years ago. We don't have sessions over the phone but I talked with her for like 10-15 min a couple times when I was in the hospital. It was helpful to have that support. Good luck!!

[fallenangel337]

I've talked to T on the phone about issues other than scheduling two or three times. I liked it because I was able to tell her something that would have been a little harder to say face-to-face, so that was good to help me get that out into the open. However, it is harder to connect on the phone, and I tend to get a little paranoid about her feelings and reactions, because obviously, her body language is absent. But overall, if it's needed, I don't mind touching base on the phone.

[Amazonmom]

My T refuses to do phone sessions.

She says she gets too much value from seeing how a client looks while they talk. Especially with me...I guess I can SOUND okay, but my body language is saying otherwise.

The only time I have ever talked to my T on the phone for any length of time is when I first called. She had nobody scheduled that hour, and she talked to me for about 30 minutes. She later said she wanted to make sure I would get an appointment scheduled because she was very worried about me.

Personally, I would be nervous for a whole session because there is so much communication that is unspoken which you can not see during a phone session. And I also think there is a greater chance for miscommunication because you don't see the body language, the facial expressions, the tissue giving, etc.

The pro - you don't miss a session.

I personally would go for a mini-session just to touch base with T and leave the intense stuff for the face-to-face.

Good luck.

[MissCharlotte]

I have had some wonderful phone sessions with T.(Yes, Tree you were right!) There was a period of time when I was being SO triggered in session that I actually preferred speaking on the phone. I felt safer that way. I would get into a comfy place in my chair at home where I wouldn't be interrupted. Now, I actually prefer to go in and see him if possible, but it took a really, really long time to get to this point. Recently when I was on vacation I had a planned phone session sitting in my car outside our motel! LOL It was a great session and I felt so cared for.

When I need more than five or ten minutes on the phone between sessions I ask for a half or full phone session and T charges me accordingly. It doesn't feel like any big deal and in fact, feels "clean" like this. However, it took me quite a while to be able to know what I need and define it. Now I can pretty much tell and leave T messages such as, "I need to speak to you just for a couple of minutes." or "I need to schedule a phone session (or half-session, etc.)."