[fallenangel337]

I'm really sad/nervous.

Since the information regarding that guy surfaced this week, we're going to discuss that, which will inevitably lead us into discussing the actual situation, which we've never properly discussed. I'm not upset about that, because it's something I've been trying to discuss for months, but I'm nervous about it. I'm also nervous because last week T seemed so disappointed that my depression was starting to resurface, and I don't want to further disappoint her by bringing this up.

Also, this is the last session before we go to every 2 weeks for the year. She told me I can call her if I ever need an extra session, or if I just need to touch base with her, but it's still hard to consider that I'll be seeing less of T.

angel

I hope it's a good session for you. It sounds like you have an amazing relationship with your T, you know she'll be there for you as you work your way through those really hard memories and feelings of the assault. I can only imagine how hard that will be, but hopefully, with your T's help, you will find some peace!

I think we sometimes forget that our T's are human - I highly doubt that your T was disappointed in you, but maybe she was disappointed in herself for not realizing so much that you were going back into a depression. Regardless, I bet she's had time to absorb it and think about it, and she'll be totally ready to support you and be there for you!

I'm glad your T said she'd be there for you if you need extra sessions, with you switching to once every 2 weeks - that's really good! Are you going to join that group on campus?

[Confused_1982]

I would think T was disappointed *for* you and not *with* you that your depression is resurfacing. It's anxiety provoking talking about the difficult stuff, but that's what T is there for, and I am sure she will help you through it. Good luck

[fallenangel337]

Originally Posted by dreamseeker9

I'm glad your T said she'd be there for you if you need extra sessions, with you switching to once every 2 weeks - that's really good! Are you going to join that group on campus?

With everything we discussed last week, I totally forgot to mention it. I'm going to ask her tomorrow for her opinion on the matter, and if she approves, then I'm definitely going to discuss it with a T here.

[fallenangel337]

The closer tomorrow gets, the more nervous I get.

(((((((((((((((fallen)))))))))))))))))

T tries to help me remember when we are talking about that kind of thing that it's not happening NOW. I already survived it. Now it's time to heal, and I don't have to be alone with it anymore.

I remember that when T and I were in the process of talking about me being raped, I drew a floorplan of the room it happened in. I didn't know why I did it, but I just felt compelled to. I brought it into session, and T sat on the couch with me and looked at it and asked questions...and I didn't feel like I was alone in that room anymore. I felt like T was with me...the room wasn't just in MY head, it was in HIS head too.

For me, there's something so healing about sharing with T what happened. It's SO hard...when we talk about any trauma stuff, it's just excruciating...but as time goes by, I realize how much it helps me to not be ALONE with this stuff anymore.

Good luck today, angel. Your T cares about you very much, and she will help you. I'll be thinking of you!

[KUREHA]

I hope it goes ok

It's cool that she offered extra sessions if you need them, hope it goes well today

[peaches100]

I hope your session goes well! Please let us know!

[fallenangel337]

Just so everybody knows, I had an AMAZING session! I posted details in the new thread "Update on today"