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#1
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Well after my accusing T of not like her style last friday and how the silence makes me feel all alone with my feelings, today she started session by asking me things. like "how does it feel to be there today?" and I said well, eh, I thought before I came it would be nice to not come today. T said, "that was a thought, but how does it feel?" eh??????? what??? is this my therapist?
I then sat quite for a little while, trying to work out was different, and then I said, I guess it feels like a magnet, its pulling all these things up and out of me, no actually, not a magnet, it feels like an abortion. T said, does it feel like that when were talking or does it also feel like that when we're sitting quite? I sat and thought about that, and said, well when we're talking, it feels like an abortion, but when we're silent, it feels like the fetus has been left on a cold slab. T said is there no other option? Couldn't someone be there taking care of it? I thought about that some more and said, no how can they, the fetus is dead. Then after some more thought, I said, no I made a mistake, its not dead. I have no facts as to what happened to me between my birth and adoption, but I think there was a lot of abandonment, then and in my adoption. I got talking about a certain way the light is that can feel haunting but hypnotizing. something I did to hold myself together, T then said, what would have happened if you hadn't have held yourself together? I said I can't answer that, not in fact, but I guess thats the stuff that drives people onto write horror novels, I can only express it in fiction and even that feels overwhelming right now. I am not sure what has changed in therapy, but something has, T seemed very up, very concerned, and it appears willing to take therapy where I need it to go. |
#2
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((((((((((Melba))))))))))
It sounds like you and T are really connecting at the moment. She is willing to be there and go to the places you want, and thats a really good thing. ![]() |
#3
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Very good! You asked for what you needed and you got it! Good Work!
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
#4
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Quote:
you should be proud of yourself. ![]() |
#5
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(((((((((((((melbadaze)))))))))))))
It is great when our T's adjust to meet our needs. ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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