[deliquesce]

austin-t says "what personal significance do the hallucinations have for you?".

i have a textbook on health psychology which has a woman in a sports bra and stockings doing a yoga pose standing in water which is flying everywhere. it has nothing to do with the text.

my front door is locked and my back door is locked and all the windows are locked but there is someone who keeps knocking on the doors and using the microwave in my kitchen.

they stopped when i brought my dogs inside but it's 3am now and one of my dogs had an 'accident' and so i put them out again. right now i am very scared the person is gong to come back.

even though the hallucination trick is old news, and i understand what triggers it and blah blah blah there is still the concern that one day i really will lose my mind quite completely. my sister and my grandad both had episodes of psychosis that lasted approx 6 months.

i am really angry at myself right now because i completely brought this on myself. i know how to avoid this but i still managed to get myself into this mess.

there was a point to this post but i dont knoww hat is it anymore. something about austn t. im embarrassed that i keep sending him txts.

everything si moving and i want to sleep but im scared if i do i wont wake up on time tomorrow. i neesd to sudy now so im going to do that.

[deliquesce]

and i dont want it to happen to me.

it's 3:30 by the way, im sorry i got that wrong but austin t says im not a bad person.

Is Austin-t a pdoc? I can't remember. You need to get in touch with your pdoc and let him know you are hallucinating. May need a med adjustment.

[deliquesce]

austin-t = clin psych, 'pdoc' = pdoc, of the "where's wally?" sort.

i dont take meds for this - don't really work (only put me to sleep). pdoc doesn't think they're a big deal, because i can still function relatively ok. and because i have enough insight to not listen to voices, discern from others' reactions whether the visual stuff is real or not etc.

just today's been a cruddy day, i guess. once i get exams over and enough sleep i will be good again, no doubt. i just need to remind myself that this is temporary. it's just difficult not having my dogs right now because i dont have anyone to refer to. rest of family away and challenging thoughts bit difficult without evidence.

i will be ok. im sure. i just need to not let one patchy day get me down and spiral out. only 36 more hours and i can sleep properly and reeset.

[googley]

((((((Deli))))))
I'm really sorry this is popping up again. I hope that you are able to get some sleep. Take care of yourself.

[ECHOES]

deli, this sounds annoying to deal with. You have a great understanding of it, but it still sounds annoying and intrusive. You are functioning, but not very comfortably.

It sounds like getting good sleep is really essential right now. Maybe using the meds to ensure you get the sleep you very much need would be something to consider.

[SpottedOwl]

(((deli)))

It sounds like the stress is bringing on the hallucinations. It is a totally normal reaction to stress -- even the most mentally healthy people will hear 'bumps in the night' if they are scared.

Be safe, and try to get some sleep.

My thoughts are with you!

((((((((((((((((deli))))))))))))))))))))))