[Melbadaze]

can people share what it would feel like for them to not be wanted.

It hurts, very bad. It's also very confusing because you think that there must be something you're either doing or not doing to be so unwanted. And this makes you paranoid, and being paranoid makes you weird, which makes you even less desirable and thus more unwanted.

So you make a choice: to accommodate or to rebel and leave. I myself rebel and leave, because accommodating is dishonest and I don't like to lie. A very close friend of mine was the accommodating type, until the day she killed herself.

And I also not-want back. Harder! Two can play that game!

It's all very sad. Mike

[sittingatwatersedge]

it's cold, and lonely. Like you have turned up a wrong street, and can't find the doorway into a room full of light and warmth - but you're outside, and have to keep moving, all the places you see are for others, not for you.

Ouch.

[Dani]

I feel like this all the time. I always think that nobody wants me around because I'm too difficult to deal with.

[jexa]

suffocating. wet and cold. drowning in black mud.

[pachyderm]

Maybe it's like I imagined once when I was in the sixth or seventh grade about being dead: in a box, forever and ever and ever not ever being able to do anything, just being in a box, until the end of the universe. It was not a happy thought.

[peaches100]

Being invisible. Like you don't even exist. Feeling that not only are you not wanted, but your presence is not even acknowledged. Nobody even knows you are there. Or if they know you are there, they don't care if you are there or not. Like you're a drop in the bucket, nothing about you stands out, and if you left, no one would even miss you.

[velcro003]

I didnt always feel not wanted,but the few times I did-it was horrible. The one I remember the best, was when I had just graduated college. My mom acted like I was the greatest burden by living back at home. It was probably two months in after I graduated where she "suggested" I move out. I would try and do anything I could to be out of the house as much as possible when she was home.

Living in a house when you feel your own mother doesn't love you is horrible. When you wish you were invisible, gone, so as to not cause any more anger.

I used to come home, curl up in a ball on my bed and cry. I'd go to bed semi-hoping I wouldn't wake up. Sucks.

[Melbadaze]

these replys are so spot on...patchy something about your box comparison took my breathe away...yes thats how it feels!

[mixedup_emotions]

Wow, I can relate to SO many of these responses! Being invisible...the rebellion...cold and lonely...feeling like it must be something I'm doing wrong...drowning in mud (although for me, I used the term quicksand recently with T)...