[crystalrose]

does transference happen in every therapeutic relationship?

[Slippers]

absolutely not. so if it doesn't, that does not mean there is anything wrong with the relationship.

bay

[Melbadaze]

absolutely is a very difinate word that doesn't allow for any instances of everyday tranaferences that we as humanbings are prone to. The question is, what am I unaware of in my life that perhaps I would be better seeing and understanding so I can be more self aware in all my lifes interactions. Some have deeper wounds that have been left unattended too for a long time so the degree the tranference woerks at will be more dysfuntional in your connections with people/places And things. Will effext ones daily living more. If ones daily disturbences are minimal then one is more able to connect from a place of calm.

Never get caught up in absolutes, its so limiting.

[Onzichtbaar]

I would say 'yes'. Transference is simply when you project something from an earlier relationship onto the current relationship. These projections can take many forms and can be strong or very subtle. You might feel warmly to someone who speaks to you over the phone because their voice or choice of words somehow remind you of a significant person in your life - or someone who helped you when you were in need - basically someone who represents importance to you. Or perhaps you meet someone with the same name as a kid who bullied you at school. Initially you feel anxious to be around them, the name revives a fear in your that you experienced when you were in the school playground. These are examples of transference. Now in these cases, if you got to know these people better you would form new impressions of them, you'd learn about them and this experience would shape you expectations and impressions.

I can give an example from my own experience. Growing up, I had a very difficult relationship with my mother. This experience generalised to a fear/distrust/uneasiness around people in general, especially women. My expectations of relationships with women were shaped on those earlier experiences. This doesn't mean that every relationship has to follow that original one, it just means I'm extra suspicious around women and it takes me more time to trust and form a good relationship (I am a female, by the way).

In therapy, the transference reactions can become exaggerated because the therapist takes on a certain role. His own private life is concealed (some therapists disclose more than others) and his role is listen and accept what you have to say unconditionally (that doesn't mean that he isn't caring but this type of relationship exudes caring by its very nature). That feeling of being respected, listened to and care for - that someone has concern for you, is often something we long for, especially if we didn't receive it form our parents. Maybe we bring to therapy a deep-seated desire to be loved, care for, parented - and from this a motherly/fatherly transference can evolve (or an erotic transference). In my therapy, I remember feeling very afraid of my therapist in the beginning. I felt quite a strong negative transference. I thought he might hit me or lose his temper any moment. I didn't trust him, although he hadn't done anything specifically to warrant such a reaction - this was just what I had brought with me into the room. Later I felt attached and more trustful, I imagined him as an ideal father and at times something of a soul-mate or lover. These roles were very much things I projected onto him and not things he in himself took on. That's transference.

I think transference also comes into play when we choose our partners, friends (and maybe even our enemies), but of course in real life these people also bring a lot with them too and to a lesser extent so do our therapists. I get along well with my therapist, and that is something aside from mere transference.

Onzi

[ECHOES]

I think it happens, but it may not be encouraged, depending on the therapist's orientation.
Many types of therapies value the transference as a necessary part of the therapy experience.

[deliquesce]

i dont think it happens in every therapeutic relationship.
but i also think it happens in everyday life, too.

'transference' is such a fuzzy word that is hard to define & objectively observe that i'm not sure it's really helpful for anyone to get that hung up on it.

Originally Posted by crystalrose

does transference happen in every therapeutic relationship?

I am not a professional but I know that it doesn't happen all the time.

I have had seen a few different professionals for my depressions, I didn't even know transference is quite common thing and there was even name for that... I never imagined falling in love or even liking doctors or any kind of therapist...