[crystalrose]

What is the most embarrassing question that your T, pdoc, counsellor has asked you?

How do you deal with embarrassing questions?
When T had asked me embarrassing questions, I just pretended I didn't hear the question, laughed or covered my eyes and face.

Sometimes I do answer but I don't always know if the embarrassing question is appropriate or not.

[sw628]

Crystalrose)))

I have a few I want to add,
1. SLW628: Yeah. i'm going out with the guy tonight. I've known him for 4 years so we have a quite the history together
T: we'll did you have sex with him?
SLW: What! ummm ok. I still have my v-card
T: your lying..really?
( Just to add.. NO ONE BELIEVES ME! lol)

2. T: You know, you need to feel more comfortable talking about and exploring your body. I think you should really M*********
SLW: OMG?! did you really just say that?!? ( face turns red and I want to die)
T: Yes, i did. You know every girl has their stash.
( what! t has a stash.. so wrong..)

There are more, but these stand out to me

[ECHOES]

Good grief, why would we want to put that here! lol

Although my T is not directive, when something embarassing comes up I deal with them by saying I am feeling embarassed and we talk about it.

I can't remember anything specific, probably because my t thinks it's his job to embarass me at least once in every session. He loves giving me a hard time. He says it's because I'm a teacher. He likes to pick on teachers.

[gravyyy]

My T and I haven't really had anything embarresing come up but wieh I was in the hospital last summer my attending pdoc had a session with me where she talked about sex, which I am okay with. But then she's like "well your face is really red." And I was like, "well we're talking about sex and I'm not sure why." And she said, "well if you're this red talking about sex, what happens when I ask you about M******?" I was like, "again, I'm not sure why this is applicable." But I amswered her questions. I'm not sure about why she was asking about that. I wasn't there for anything related to relationships or what-not. I saw her for 2 weeks of inpatient and 1 week of partial hospitalization. I think she must ave just liked me because she would spend like 20-30 minutes per day with me and everyone else she would see for like 5 minutes. It was interesting, but the M***** discussion was definitely embarrasing and uncomfortable.

[tonih]

I have been through so much medical stuff (hospitalized for weeks at a time) that I don't get embarrassed anymore. I figure we are all human and illness, whether it is physical, mental, or emotional is the great equalizer. If you embarrass easily, try and think how the therapist feels asking sticky questions. Probably as difficult if not more so for her/him. blessings

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by sw628

Crystalrose)))

I have a few I want to add,
1. SLW628: Yeah. i'm going out with the guy tonight. I've known him for 4 years so we have a quite the history together
T: we'll did you have sex with him?
SLW: What! ummm ok. I still have my v-card
T: your lying..really?
( Just to add.. NO ONE BELIEVES ME! lol)

2. T: You know, you need to feel more comfortable talking about and exploring your body. I think you should really M*********
SLW: OMG?! did you really just say that?!? ( face turns red and I want to die)
T: Yes, i did. You know every girl has their stash.
( what! t has a stash.. so wrong..)

There are more, but these stand out to me

Oh my god!!!! Hahahha. I would disappear in the couch!

My T asked early on on therapy I'd I ever had sexual fantasies. I just looked at her like "whaa?!" We haven't gone into that realm...so who knows what could be coming?

[skeksi]

Early on, when T was sort of scoping out what was going on with me, he asked if I could enjoy myself during sex and I said, not really, I don't like it. And he said, you don't like to orgasm? Omg, I turned bright red. So later, he said, so do you wanna talk about having orgasms? Aiii, too much for me!

[sunrise]

I had a dream about T and in it he had blue eyes. I remember thinking the next day, that was interesting, because I had never noticed what color his eyes were and if I were to guess, I probably would have said brown. I had my session that day and midway through I noticed T had blue eyes! I thought that was cool that my unconscious had noticed his blue eyes and put it in a dream. As I was thinking all this, I stared into his eyes for a long time, thinking how blue they were, and daydreaming. I guess I was quiet for a long time, and then T asked, "what are you thinking?" I was jolted out of my daydream and too embarrassed to say "I was thinking about how blue your eyes are," so I said rather lamely, "nothing." I am sure I blushed, like I was caught in the act.

[crystalrose]

thats so funny sunrise.
Wow the rest are extremly embarrassing. I haven't had a T been that personal yet even though there has been sexual questions added to the session
What about the questions about how transference is affecting the relationship. Like my old T used to ask about love and mother type of transference. Always made me blush.

Sometimes the non sexual things make me embarrassed also. Sometimes just the way that the T looks at you when they are waiting for you to talk. It makes me laugh and blush.

[mixedup_emotions]

Originally Posted by crystalrose

thats so funny sunrise.
Wow the rest are extremly embarrassing. I haven't had a T been that personal yet even though there has been sexual questions added to the session
What about the questions about how transference is affecting the relationship. Like my old T used to ask about love and mother type of transference. Always made me blush.

Sometimes the non sexual things make me embarrassed also. Sometimes just the way that the T looks at you when they are waiting for you to talk. It makes me laugh and blush.

I admitted a couple of embarrassing things to T....related to sex...about how I don't need a man to be satisfied sexually (LOL) and about how I felt power when giving orally....It was hard to talk about...

And about the non sexual things....I recall a time when we made eye contact....and it felt like a staring contest....and he made a comforting noise....twice....before I turned away and talked. I wonder how long that gaze would've lasted. It was a very emotional connection for me...

[lily99]

Sometimes the non sexual things make me embarrassed also. Sometimes just the way that the T looks at you when they are waiting for you to talk. It makes me laugh and blush.

I agree. I find talking about sex way easier (and more fun) than things like transference . And I get s embarrassed too when they stare! Because you know that they know you're uncomfortable, so they smile and then i just blush even more.

[velcro003]

I fix that problem by only looking at my T when I am not talking. This past week I even had my scarf over my face for part of it. I wonder what she must think that I hardly ever look at her--and especially not while I talk about anything remotely difficult.

[deliquesce]

oh, when i saw my first counsellor (at school, i was 16) i would take in my blazer and school hat (erm, i went to a prissy private school) and wear the hat and drape the blazer across the front of it so that i just talked into this curtain of black the whole time. so i TOTES win on lack of eye contact.

re: embarrassing stuff. catholic pdoc asking deli-in-same-sex-relationship whether sex was happening and if it was satisfying AND *cringe* what sort of acts were involved. this was early on with pdoc, and i still didn't know him enough to think of him as anything other than the pope, so it freaked me out a bit. i think i blushed bright red and hid my face in my bag.

[velcro003]

awwww deli!!!!

at "TOTES"...I love to use that word!!!!! hahaha.

[Elysium]

The most embarrassing question I've ever been asked by a T....

Once, when I was around 12 yrs old, my family was going to group counseling...for my brother...he was into drugs, violent, and the family was dysfunctional.

A week or two before this session I had been molested by a close friend of the family. So...I quietly open the door to the Adult group session and scoot up next to my mother to ask her if I could have .50 cents for a soda. Then, in the middle of the session, the counselor stops the group says hi to me and then...in front of everyone asks...."How did you feel while that man was touching you?"

I was devastated!! All the adults got quiet and everyone was staring at me. To top it off, this lady wasn't even a certified counselor....she was the program secretary who was allowed to hold groups because she had on the job training.

I recall my response being something along the lines of me hollering "B itch!!! Don't talk to me!! Your not even a real therapist!!", and me marching out of the room alone.

It was very embarrassing.

[crystalrose]

that would be embarrassing. I hated family therapy when I was young. I'd feel badly and embarrassed when the therapist asked me about mom and dad disciplining me, the therapist would ask me while my parents were around. The therapist would ask things like 'how do you feel when mom and dad give you spankings?'

Things like that.

[mixedup_emotions]

Originally Posted by Elysium3006

The most embarrassing question I've ever been asked by a T....

Once, when I was around 12 yrs old, my family was going to group counseling...for my brother...he was into drugs, violent, and the family was dysfunctional.

A week or two before this session I had been molested by a close friend of the family. So...I quietly open the door to the Adult group session and scoot up next to my mother to ask her if I could have .50 cents for a soda. Then, in the middle of the session, the counselor stops the group says hi to me and then...in front of everyone asks...."How did you feel while that man was touching you?"

I was devastated!! All the adults got quiet and everyone was staring at me. To top it off, this lady wasn't even a certified counselor....she was the program secretary who was allowed to hold groups because she had on the job training.

I recall my response being something along the lines of me hollering "B itch!!! Don't talk to me!! Your not even a real therapist!!", and me marching out of the room alone.

It was very embarrassing.

Wow, that sounds AWFUL....

I was put on the spot in front of others by my ex-husband's T (who I love dearly)...in the hallway before group T one day. A massage therapist was there trying to recruit newbies, and I talked to her about how my T wants me to try massage for my severe migraines, but that I have issues with touch. One of the group members (that I have problems with, btw) was closeby....so I was trying to be quiet...My ex-husband's T was nearby as well....turned to me and said loudly, "You have issues with touch? Why? Were you touched inappropriately?"....I was stunned that he would ask me that in front of others. I replied, "Yes"....He said, "Are you going to talk about it in group?"....I said, "NO!"....and then walked away.

[sunrise]

I hope you spoke to him privately about his transgression later, mixedup. What he said (in a public setting) was really inappropriate.

And Elysium--that secretary really messed up too. I feel like a few of these instances should be compiled into some sort of pamphlet for Ts on "how not to mess up."

[rainbow8]

What about the questions about how transference is affecting the relationship. Like my old T used to ask about love and mother type of transference. Always made me blush.

Crystal, I agree that the questions and discussion of my feelings for my T always embarrassed me, and still do. There have always been sexual tones to the transference, and questions about that made me blush or sweat. Also, when I discussed physiology/anatomy with any of my Ts. I don't want to post details but I'm getting embarrassed just thinking about some of my discussions in therapy.

[mixedup_emotions]

[quote=sunrise;1226352]I hope you spoke to him privately about his transgression later, mixedup. What he said (in a public setting) was really inappropriate.[quote]

Actually, I never did address it with him afterwards. I ended up forgetting about it during the group session and was only reminded of it just now with the recent similar post.