Would it be wrong?

Brightheart · Dec 13, 2009, 04:36 PM

There apparently is a photo of my former T on the internet now when you do a search. (I didn't do a search, though. Someone else informed me.) I've been out of therapy for a year and I am doing really well. The one thing I've really longed for, though, is a photo of him...just to hold the memory. Would it be wrong? I respect him so very much, but the photo....

mixedup_emotions · Dec 13, 2009, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brightheart

There apparently is a photo of my former T on the internet now when you do a search. (I didn't do a search, though. Someone else informed me.) I've been out of therapy for a year and I am doing really well. The one thing I've really longed for, though, is a photo of him...just to hold the memory. Would it be wrong? I respect him so very much, but the photo....

I see nothing wrong with copying the photo to hold onto. It is on the internet for the world to see, and it means something to you.

crystalrose · Dec 13, 2009, 04:49 PM

no there is nothing wrong with that. Its just a photo and its been put out there public so don't worry.

ECHOES · Dec 13, 2009, 04:50 PM

Brightheart · Dec 13, 2009, 04:54 PM

Okay, the deed has been done. It's from the Psychology Today pages so it must be okay. This really is the last piece for me.

I'm at total peace now.

ECHOES · Dec 13, 2009, 06:00 PM

Brightheart, I think it would be wonderful to have a photo of T, for now or to remember T by. I'm glad for you that you have the opportunity!

BlueMoon6 · Dec 13, 2009, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brightheart

Okay, the deed has been done. It's from the Psychology Today pages so it must be okay. This really is the last piece for me.

I'm at total peace now.

Me, too!

skeksi · Dec 13, 2009, 10:46 PM

I can imagine what my T would say to this (since I currently have him living in my head, it's what I say, too!): are you comforted by the photo? (you are!) does it hurt anyone else? (of course not!). In fact, it makes a lot of sense to me that you want a photo to look at every now and again. I see T every week and I still got to look at his Psychology Today pic sometimes

Simcha · Dec 13, 2009, 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brightheart

There apparently is a photo of my former T on the internet now when you do a search. (I didn't do a search, though. Someone else informed me.) I've been out of therapy for a year and I am doing really well. The one thing I've really longed for, though, is a photo of him...just to hold the memory. Would it be wrong? I respect him so very much, but the photo....

Why is he your former T?

I think holding onto a photo of any T is probably unhealthy.

Brightheart · Dec 14, 2009, 02:47 AM

He's my former T because I finished with therapy. It would break my heart if I ever forgot him.

sunrise · Dec 14, 2009, 03:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simcha

I think holding onto a photo of any T is probably unhealthy.

Why? I guess I liken it to wanting to have a photo of anyone I had been close to, kind of like a memento of our time together, and the experiences we had shared. Like a friend, a lover, a co-worker, a special babysitter, etc. Heck, I just finished my divorce (went to court 3 days ago and made it final!), and I felt my lawyer and I had been through so much together, that I wished I had a picture of her. I don't think it's unhealthy, just human.

deliquesce · Dec 14, 2009, 06:54 AM

i dont think it would be 'wrong', but i would still feel uncomfortable doing it.

gravyyy · Dec 14, 2009, 01:16 PM

I don't think it's wrong at all. It is available on a public website. If he didn't want people to know what he looked like, he wouldn't have a pic up there. Now, if you become obsessed about it and make a little "T shrine" and think he's talking to you or things along those lines then it will have become unhealthy but for you to have a pic of your T that you legally obtained is just fine in my opinion.

amandalouise · Dec 14, 2009, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brightheart

There apparently is a photo of my former T on the internet now when you do a search. (I didn't do a search, though. Someone else informed me.) I've been out of therapy for a year and I am doing really well. The one thing I've really longed for, though, is a photo of him...just to hold the memory. Would it be wrong? I respect him so very much, but the photo....

For classwork reasons I go to psychology today a lot and I get the magazine. psychology today does have copyrights to anything they put on their website and in their magazine. something to relate this to would be here there is a rule that says we cant copy anything. does that mean its ok for people to disregard that rule and copy things anyway just because they really want something someone has put on here (or at psychology today). and disregard copyrights?

if this situation was me I would let the t know there is a picture on the internet and in psychology today of him and ask if I could copy it. Sure he may not know you have copied it and have it but does that make it right, like here does it make it ok to copy things here as long as we don't ask anyone and don't tell the person we really wanted their material and photos?

When I first got here people accused me of being someone I wasn't and kept warning me about the rule not to copy anything. So I know this kind of thing has been dealt with here before and people here don't look lightly on anyones copyright infringement and privacy of photos and material. so I was surprised to read the posts saying copying his photo without permission was ok. personally I think the T deserves the same respect we give our psych central friends.

Call him and let him know you found a picture of him and since its on the internet you would like to have it. whats the worst he can say No and you throw it away. you have gone all this time without a picture of him and have survived so I believe you will continue to survive without a picture of him, you have your memories of your time together and you probably will never forget him and your time together.

Brightheart · Dec 14, 2009, 06:37 PM

I don't worry about it being unhealthy. In my opinion it's a very natural thing to want a small momento to remember him by. I'm not obsessed with him. He was a part of my life for a little while and he has impacted me a great deal...changed my life really. My only concern was it possibly being disrespectful to him, which is something I'd never ever want to do. But it was a professional page and not anything private. After I thought about him and our relationship, I know he would be okay with it. He would understand and allow me the comfort. So I'm good with it.

Luce · Dec 15, 2009, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simcha

Why is he your former T?

I think holding onto a photo of any T is probably unhealthy.

I too am wondering what aspects of this you think might be unhealthy. I can think of circumstances or reasons for doing it that could be unhealthy, but I don't think it is an unhealthy thing to do in itself at all.

I personally have photos of a former T. She gave me a couple year ago, and I have updated ones from her site on the net. I very fondly recall that T, and seeing her pics makes me smile. I look at her pics (usually by stumbling across them while looking for something else) maybe a couple of times a year. Nothing unhealthy goin' on there.

Brightheart · 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amandalouise

For classwork reasons I go to psychology today a lot and I get the magazine. psychology today does have copyrights to anything they put on their website and in their magazine. something to relate this to would be here there is a rule that says we cant copy anything. does that mean its ok for people to disregard that rule and copy things anyway just because they really want something someone has put on here (or at psychology today). and disregard copyrights?

if this situation was me I would let the t know there is a picture on the internet and in psychology today of him and ask if I could copy it. Sure he may not know you have copied it and have it but does that make it right, like here does it make it ok to copy things here as long as we don't ask anyone and don't tell the person we really wanted their material and photos?

When I first got here people accused me of being someone I wasn't and kept warning me about the rule not to copy anything. So I know this kind of thing has been dealt with here before and people here don't look lightly on anyones copyright infringement and privacy of photos and material. so I was surprised to read the posts saying copying his photo without permission was ok. personally I think the T deserves the same respect we give our psych central friends.

Call him and let him know you found a picture of him and since its on the internet you would like to have it. whats the worst he can say No and you throw it away. you have gone all this time without a picture of him and have survived so I believe you will continue to survive without a picture of him, you have your memories of your time together and you probably will never forget him and your time together.

I missed this one yesterday and sure do feel like crap now after reading this. I'm getting rid of the picture. The last thing I'd ever want to do is disrespect him in any way, shape or form. I just don't want to ever forget his face. I'm not trying to disregard any rules. I guess I screwed up. I wish that I didn't have to feel so badly about myself for still wanting to see him.

Dec 15, 2009, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brightheart

I missed this one yesterday and sure do feel like crap now after reading this. I'm getting rid of the picture. The last thing I'd ever want to do is disrespect him in any way, shape or form. I just don't want to ever forget his face. I'm not trying to disregard any rules. I guess I screwed up. I wish that I didn't have to feel so badly about myself for still wanting to see him.

Honestly, Brightheart, I think it is SO OKAY for you to have that picture. It is on the website, which you could log into 47389247309 times a day. Printing it is not a big deal.

I don't know about copyright law, but my guess is I could print an article off of any website for my own personal use...not to sell, or to publish in my own magazine...but to tuck in my journal so I could read it over and over again. I am sure the same thing holds true of your T's picture.

I am seriously considering using my weird manic state to go research copyright laws.

Be gentle with you, Brighheart. You are a good, loving person and you did NOT do anything wrong.

Dec 15, 2009, 12:32 PM

I really don't see anything here that says you can't PRINT A PICTURE:

http://mason.gmu.edu/~montecin/copyright-internet.htm

Hope I'm not violating any copyright laws by linking that!

sunrise · Dec 15, 2009, 04:19 PM

The copyright law would be if you wanted to, for example, use the picture in a book you are writing or on your own website or for personal gain in some way, etc. I don't believe it would extend to printing out a picture of someone from a public website. Psych Today is a public site. He put his photo there, and he knows it is accessible to the world. Brightheart is not suggesting that she will post his photo on her website, publish it in some other way, make money from it, etc. Brightheart, go right ahead and print that pic. No problemo!

crystalrose · Dec 15, 2009, 04:45 PM

yeah don't be worried about copyright. That doesn't apply for just printing a photograph or copying a picture. Brightheart

you have done nothing wrong. It is just for you and your personal memory. I think that is absolutly ok.

TayQuincy · Dec 15, 2009, 04:54 PM

There is nothing wrong with wanting a picture of your therapist. I disagree that it is unhealthy. My former T gave me pictures of herself when I asked her. I also have a picture of my current T. I think it's totally ridiculous to say that it violates copyright laws to copy a picture off the internet. It's like a newspaper, if your T was featured in an article and had a picture in the newspaper, you are free to save it, keep it, rip it up, whatever you want!

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