What is therapy supposed to do?

I've been in therapy for 18 months now. And lately I'm wondering - what exactly is therapy supposed to be? What am I supposed to be doing? What are we supposed to be accomplishing?

Lately we have stonewalled. So I actually started seeing another therapist. I'm still seeing my first one for meds (psych nurse, does both). She doesn't know I'm seeing this other therapist.

Maybe I'm just expecting the wrong things out of therapy. Maybe I'm not putting enough into it. I don't know. Sometimes I'm not really sure what we're supposed to be talking about, what's important, what's not.

Definitely talk to both therapists, tell them about the other, and discuss what your treatment goals are. Therapy should be helping you to accomplish your goals and make your life better and/or help resolve problems in living that you may have. Therapy really can only help you to do this work for yourself, as nobody can do it for you, but sometimes we need a guide in the process. What do you want therapy to do? You can also ask your therapists what goals they have for you and how they are working towards those goals and what they expect you to be doing. As well as how they measure progress towards your goals.

I did 15 years and 6 therapists and pretty much every type of therapy under the sun, I also studied psychology at uni.

Now, this is from my experience and it might be different for others, so don't take it as gospel. One of the things that I came to realise is that just because you have a mental health problem, doesn't mean you want to spend your life in therapy, cause sometimes things might not be perfect but they aren't painful enough to want to deal with them. As long as you are stable enough, not causing harm to yourself or others, then, I don't see the point of seeing a therapist, especially if you have family and friend support. Therapy should be for times when you really do want to deal with an issue or because you feel yourself slipping, things like that. Crisis aren't for therapy either, therapy are for when you are stable, open and motivated to work things out, knowing there is going to be pain and anxiety, but willing to take it to accomplish something.

I haven't seen a therapist now for a number of years, I have survived and thrived, because I stopped depending on therapist for my sanity. Sometimes they even aggravated my condition. I am thinking of going back, because I want to deal with an issue now, I'm ready now, I wasn't before.

I can't tell you to stop seeing your therapists because I don't know your situation, but I wanted to tell you that you don't have to feel guilt about the switch and you don't have to feel like the world will collapse on you if you go without a therapist. As long as you are stable and the meds are right and see a doctor or therapist once in a while to check in. Maybe things have stalled because you aren't ready for things to move forward. Perhaps also this therapist is wrong for you.

Again, its an opinion so think about it and if its wrong toss it, I'm fine with that.

no one can tell you...its a personal choice...for me my life was a mess and i was iN constant pain and turmoil...i instintively knew i needed help...tried 12 step groups, but gods and sprituality ain't my ting...I like thinking through problems so therapy Is rigHt for me..others find healing through other methods...

Have you brought this up with your therapist? Every time I have, we've clarified goals and it helps give me a focus.

For me, therapy is about healing. If the car needs something, I take it to a mechanic because I would only make it worse trying to figure it out myself. So I will call on an expert. But if the car is working as it should, I take it in for standard service only. There is usually no point in driving to a mechanic and paying them when there isn't a problem. So I have spent several years out of therapy when the mental car was running as it should. I went back into therapy when I knew there was a problem. Right now I am getting an emotional and mental overhall - so it is taking a little more time than I would like. But I know that when the process is complete, I will have a mind/spirit that is running better than ever before! But you can bet I will take it back to T for periodic check-ups :-)

Therapy, for me, was about uncovering my story and discovering my potential. It was about learning what has made me who I am and discovering that I have the ability to change the aspects of my thinking which have been causing me pain. It was about learning how I relate with others. It was about facing the truth. It was about learning to love myself, which the relationship helped me to be able to do.

But all of that is me and you might have different needs. I think that everyone has their own unique goals and needs in therapy. Therapy is about you and so you definitely want to be getting the very most out of it that you possibly can. Maybe discussing with your therapist how you've been feeling about all of this would be beneficial to progressing things in a positive direction.

In life, we change and adapt, we learn and we grow. No matter what. Life is a constant process. Sometimes the adaptations are good, sometimes they are very bad. The way I see it.. therapy is having a guide through life's regular changes. Sometimes we can do it on your own (most times we hope) but sometimes we need someone to give a different perspective and teach us new things.

Just my 2c... Hope that made some sense...

I think everyone's therapy is unique to them, so it's hard for me to say what therapy should do for you. For me, however, therapy provides a safe framework on which I can begin to understand myself and my sometimes seemingly inexplicable actions. We use experiences from my past and current problems to illustrate my current thinking. The ultimate goal is to re-learn that thinking.

So, I guess basically, it is an overhaul of just about everything I thought I knew.

Sometimes therapy can be very boring and I have certainly had times when I thought I was just running over the same old ground again and again. Sometimes my therapy kicks into overdrive. It's like a sine wave really.

Even after several years in therapy I find that there is still much ground to cover.

In the long run, I think therapy is supposed to make you feel better and smooth out the ridiculous highs and lows, be more effective and comfortable in your life, and realize your true authentic self.

There's a whole lot piled on top of getting there though, at least for me.

I would definately talk to your therapist and let them know you are beginning to question what exactly is going on with you and your treatment. It will likely help you to move forward in what ever way you choose.

It sure sounds like you need to discuss goals with your therapist. There are two ways to go about this. One is to ask the therapist, "What are our goals here?" If he/she replies with specific goals, then don't just automatically accept those goals. Ask yourself if you think those are worthwhile goals for you. For some people, self-understanding is important; for others, behavioral change or changing feelings may be important. If the therapist's goals don't agree with yours, then either you need to negotiate or work with another therapist. I have made the mistake of sticking with a therapist when her goals and mine did not agree. That has had serious negative consequences in my life.

The other way is to tell the therapist what you would like to get out of therapy. This may prompt the therapist to change what they are doing, or to tell you that they think the goals should be different, or to explain how what you are a doing can help toward those goals. Again, depending on the discussion, either a renegotiation of what you do in therapy or switching to another therapist might be in order.

Whichever route you choose, I suggest spending some time beforehand thinking about what you would consider worthwhile goals. If you try the first route, the therapist could respond to your question by asking what your goals are -- so you need to be prepared to answer this if asked.

And, since you are seeing two therapists now, you need to have this discussion with each one -- and tell each that you are seeing another.

I hope this helps. Good luck.