Help Needed! Ideas! Important Things Needed From T

Feb 10, 2010 at 10:43 PM

I am making a list of things I want in a T. I know it is very personal, but I want to make sure that I am not forgetting some things. Like for example, I noticed that some people email their T outside session... I never even thought of that!

SO, I was wondering what you think is important to have in your T?

So far, I was thinking: patient, gentle, honest, funny, not quiet, female, lets me call within reason, does relationship-based therapy, understands foster care or is willing to understand, understands trauma, age like 40-50 and likes spaghettiOs...

jennaorgana · Feb 10, 2010 at 10:53 PM

hahaha

a lot of the things you want in a T you wont realize until you are sitting down across from someone... but i can tell you this, it may be difficult to find someone who fits all your criterion!! just make sure they have empathy and they are experienced.

I LOVE SPAGHETTIO'S! for some reason i love the pseudo-meatballs. they taste soooo gooood!

sunrise · Feb 10, 2010 at 11:23 PM

I agree, empathy and experience are important. Also, I would want a T who likes to go deep, or at least doesn't shy away from it. And has some expertise with my concerns. Someone who encourages expression of feelings. Someone who would enjoy engaging with me. Someone who loves their job.

Feb 11, 2010 at 06:01 AM

I like your list, solarwind.

When I was looking for a T, I really didn't know what I was looking for, as I had never been in therapy before. I ended up picking him because he was gentle and caring, and I connected with him and felt that I could learn to trust him.

If I were looking for a T now, I'd definitely look for someone who specializes in my issues (trauma and dissociation), and I'd probably look for someone who identifies themselves as Humanistic.

chaotic13 · Feb 11, 2010 at 06:47 AM

I like sunrise's comment about someone who enjoys their job! I think I would quickly wear out a burnt out T. I want empathy and all the qualities of a good relationship builder, but I also want someone who knows his/her discipline, has a lot of different tools and experiences to use and draw from, and who no matter what will do what is best for me in the long run.

Feb 11, 2010 at 07:49 AM

Take a look at the thread on what I like about my t (I think that was the title). That will give you a good list of what is important to find in a t.

TayQuincy · Feb 11, 2010 at 09:05 AM

I need a T who self discloses a lot. I need to know she is "real" and see we have things in common. It helps me so much to know she goes through the same kinds of teen troubles and issues that I go through (we both have teenage sons). Also, a T who is there for me whenever I need her (within reason). I never take advantage of that though, but I need to feel that she is out there and I'm able to contact her. That is one of the things i like about DBT. Two minutes on the phone is all it takes to help me to find my way back from hell. I have no idea if my t likes spaghetti-ohs, lol. I hope that wouldn't be a deal-breaker for you!

kitten16 · Feb 11, 2010 at 10:22 AM

The main thing I've missed the most in the therapists I've seen, is some basic initiative about guiding sessions. For instance, if I brought something up in a previous session that was pretty disturbing, I would like to have the T open it up again next time. I often need that kind of help.

I realize Ts are trained not to impress themselves on the session too much, in order to give the greatest possible scope to the client. But especially around painful things, I think it's important for Ts not to enable the client in avoidance. There should be some judicious prodding around these things. For God's sake, at least bring it up and ask if the client wants to revisit. If they don't, fine.

Feb 11, 2010 at 10:30 AM

Well, personally, I loved my T because he made me work hard. I needed that sort of discipline, otherwise I'd just crawl back into my hole and make no progress. For me, I like a T who makes you work hard within reason, in order to improve the patient.

Understanding, funny, and experienced in the area of therapy that I'm trying to receive are other big ones.

rainbow8 · Feb 11, 2010 at 11:45 AM

I want a T to show me in words or actions that she cares about me. I want her to be a "real person" and be willing to share some of her life with me. I want to feel "safe" with her; however she manages to do that is okay. I want a T to allow phone calls and email within reason, and to respond to me in a timely manner. I want a T who understands my issues and who is willing to let me go where I want with them. Of course she has to be patient, kind, nurturing, consistent, compassionate, and definitely someone who gives me her complete attention during the session. She has to see me as a person, not a diagnosis. I also want a T who will encourage me to feel my feelings in therapy, not just talk about my feelings as I have done in the past. Someone who will allow me to let all of my feelings out but will not let me "fall off the cliff." She has to know what she is doing!

The T I am going to see has most, if not all of these requirements.

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Help Needed! Ideas! Important Things Needed From T

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chaotic13 Grand Magnate Member Since Aug 2007 Posts: 3,747 17	Feb 11, 2010 at 06:47 AM #5 I like sunrise's comment about someone who enjoys their job! I think I would quickly wear out a burnt out T. I want empathy and all the qualities of a good relationship builder, but I also want someone who knows his/her discipline, has a lot of different tools and experiences to use and draw from, and who no matter what will do what is best for me in the long run.
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Anonymous32910 Guest Posts: n/a	Feb 11, 2010 at 07:49 AM #6 Take a look at the thread on what I like about my t (I think that was the title). That will give you a good list of what is important to find in a t.
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Anonymous32723 Guest Posts: n/a	Feb 11, 2010 at 10:30 AM #9 Well, personally, I loved my T because he made me work hard. I needed that sort of discipline, otherwise I'd just crawl back into my hole and make no progress. For me, I like a T who makes you work hard within reason, in order to improve the patient. Understanding, funny, and experienced in the area of therapy that I'm trying to receive are other big ones.
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