Why Not Post-Therapy Relationships?

Social workers are licensed and can have their licensed revoked.

Different organizations and professions have different guidelines of varying length (e.g. the American Psychological Association). Also, sometimes guidelines specify a time limit for a romantic relationship but not for other types of relationships. On top of this is grafted the guidelines of the state licensing board. (In my state these are less stringent and specific than the guidelines of several of the professional organizations.) It is quite interesting how much the guidelines vary from one organization to the next. I guess if one really wants to know for their own case, one could ask their T what organization's guidelines he/she follows.

Here, it is 3 years. I don't know if that is for romantic or not. Last T lost her licanse for mutually falling in love with her client before the 3 years was up.

Now as far as other types of relationships, my T from 4 years ago and I always felt like family. So she kinda adopted me and is my surrogate Aunt. She visited me today and says she wants to be in my life more, if I want that. It was really good to see her - and i suppose easier than say my last t vecause we never really did therapy - i always dissociated out so bad that we'd have to talk about metaphysics or something.

Thanks for all the replies and viewpoints expressed here. A couple of you asked if it was hard for me to leave the details for the future (as far as knowing what type of contact my t and i will have post-therapy). Yeah, it is hard because I'm the type of person that likes to have set answers to my questions and know what to expect. I think i'm really afraid of expecting too much and then being let down and feeling abandoned.

If my t should permit post-therapy contact, i will be very, very glad, but I also worry about what my husband will think. He is always telling me that a t-patient relationship is a business relationship, the same as i would have with any other professional. That it should not feel personal. He says the reason i'm so attached and want it to be more is because of my "illness" (meaning borderline traits).

That kind of scares me because i just don't (can't) see the relationship with my t as strictly professional and non-personal. It feels very personal, and i feel very attached.

Anxiety can cause a person to need every detail in the future nailed down. When I worked on my anxiety my need for this decreased. Today I don't even think about things like this. It sounds like you are trying to head off any future abandonment? How about working on this issue so that you won't need to worry about it anymore? If this issue is healed it cannot bother you like it does now.

You need what you need, not what your husband needs........

Yes social workers have licenses and Yes they can be taken away for "ethics" violations. I know this, I am one in the state of Ohio

My therapist and I have worked together for 18 years. She told me that she is well aware of the fact that I will always need some sort of contact with her as our relationship is very strong. She is like a mother to me. And she is ok with that.

wow, what a powerful image of healing, somehting to look forward to. thanks!!

I have an ongoing relationship with my ex long term T, but it is absolutely not a 'friendship'. As attached as I am to her the relationship is still very one sided.. maybe it could be described as an extension of the T/client relationship rather than anything else. I check in with her via email to share what's going on with me etc, and she responds to what I have written. She shares very little about herself, but sometimes will tell me if she is on vacation somewhere or something like that.
I like to check in with her because she is a comfortable base for me. She knows so much about me and my history, and celebrates with me how far I have come on my journey. She 'knows' me more than anyone else in my life.
From her perspective I know she has - and will always have - a deep caring for me.

I did have coffee with her once post therapy. I found it very uncomfortable and would not like to do it again. It was like trying to pretend the relationship was on a mutual level, but it was not, and it will never be. I guess I coud say she will always be my 'friend', but I will never be hers.

I've been seeing t for more than ten years, and in the beginning I wanted it all, to be in his life, him to be in mine, etc.
Now, I don't want that, the relationship is too uneven. He helps me I don't help him. I have only seen him in public twice, once at the mall, and I heard his voice really loud, and so I ducked down and hid until he had passed, then the other time I didn't even realize it was him to until later. I am glad he is my t, but i really don't want him in my life later or even want to be in his! And I have already figured out where he is retiring too!

Excellent point, Sky. I've read about that sort of thing happening, and more often than not it doesn't work out very well at all.
I don't think there's anything wrong with occasional updates through email or maybe a brief phone call, especially after a long-term therapy relationship comes to an end, but I wouldn't recommend developing a friendship with a former T.