[chaotic13]

I'm kicking this topic around in my head today. I'm looking for some type of cleansing or detoxication ritual that I can put myself through for the sole purpose of just re-affirming my sense of self. I'm looking for some....RITUAL that is: challenging to complete (physically/mentally), requires very conscious daily effort but only takes a short amount of time, isn't likely to adversely affect other family members, and is either healthy or at least relatively safe (i.e. fasting one day is OK, but starving myself for a week is not). I think I also want it to yield...something tangible in the end. I don't really care what it is or if it REALLY has any extrinsic value. It just needs to be something I can hold, measure, or touch and say... "I didn't!"

I already have 1-hr daily time block dedicated mindless exercise. So I could incorporate the ritual into this time block or make it something that I do, 5 mins throughout the day...IDK

What I am most interested in are ideas for doing something to re-affirm that I have A BIG SAY in how I live my life, what I put in my mouth, how I choose to treat my body, etc... I don't want it to be about me demonstrating self-control by denying or deprive myself of something. I want it to be more about celebrating and embracing my authentic self and ...her inherent value and worth. Not sure if that make sense.

I'm just curious if others have gone through a similar phase? And if so, what did you try and how it worked out for ya?

[jexa]

What about ONLY eating fruits and vegetables (but as MUCH as you want), and only drinking water, for three days? This helped me..

[Sannah]

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=127463

THis is from Anderson. I thought it was awesome. She is awesome.

[chaotic13]

Jexa,
That's for reminding me...In the past when I started feeling crappy about my physical self (kind of what is going on a bit at the moment)I would decided to be more conscious about what I put in my mouth.I am not much of a cook but I do have a veggie soup that I make and limit my food intake to for 1-2 days.
I'm not a big advocate of dieting..but i do go into a monitoring mode. I think I am going to do a soup fast this weekend.

S

[chaotic13]

Sannah, thanks for directing me to Anderson's post. I kind of like the idea of exploring some purification ritual. At the moment I'm kind of curious about aromatherapy and Chinese herbal treatments. With regard to the herbal treatment, I just don't want to get caught up in taking some concoction that might have some adverse side-effect. I guess I just have to look into some of these detox treatments. I just don't know very much about them and honestly... I want to just DO IT. I don't have time right now to research it. I think I need a sweat log experience. LOL I thought about asking my T for some ideas...but IDK. Its not really about HEALING. Actually a few weeks ago I watched the movie Julie Julia...I want to do something like that!...Where I just have to get myself to just so SOMETHING everyday and not WORRY about the end. I like the idea of only being concerned with complete one step at a time.

I like what you're searching for, chaotic. And I like the idea of being concerned with one step at a time.

Have you tried meditation? It's something that you practice every day. Focusing only on your breath and your body sensations is harder work than you would think There are lots of good meditation CD's out there to get started with if that feels more comfortable.

I LOVE aromatherapy. I have an aromatherapy burner going almost all the time, with different oils depending on what I (or my kids) want/need.

I've worked with a naturopath before...and I have a good friend who is VERY into acupuncture. So, those are things you could try for cleansing/detox...

I light two candles every morning. They are on my mantle, and they are in candle holders that were handmade by a friend who is a potter. When I light them I say two quick prayers, one for each candle. Usually asking for help connecting...with the people around me, or with the universe, or with my Self. I like starting the day lighting the candles and lighting my aromatherapy while my coffee brews.

I'd like to hear more about what you decide to do, chaotic.

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by chaotic13

I'm kicking this topic around in my head today. I'm looking for some type of cleansing or detoxication ritual that I can put myself through for the sole purpose of just re-affirming my sense of self. I'm looking for some....RITUAL that is: challenging to complete (physically/mentally), requires very conscious daily effort but only takes a short amount of time, isn't likely to adversely affect other family members, and is either healthy or at least relatively safe (i.e. fasting one day is OK, but starving myself for a week is not). I think I also want it to yield...something tangible in the end. I don't really care what it is or if it REALLY has any extrinsic value. It just needs to be something I can hold, measure, or touch and say... "I didn't!"

I already have 1-hr daily time block dedicated mindless exercise. So I could incorporate the ritual into this time block or make it something that I do, 5 mins throughout the day...IDK

What I am most interested in are ideas for doing something to re-affirm that I have A BIG SAY in how I live my life, what I put in my mouth, how I choose to treat my body, etc... I don't want it to be about me demonstrating self-control by denying or deprive myself of something. I want it to be more about celebrating and embracing my authentic self and ...her inherent value and worth. Not sure if that make sense.

I'm just curious if others have gone through a similar phase? And if so, what did you try and how it worked out for ya?

I love Anderson's post.
I'm a big advocate of first principles and simplicity.

This may not be for you, but some of the tenets of wicca describe exactly what you seem to be seeking. It helped me to recognize and celebrate myself and the intimate connection I have with all things around me. I mean I'm not advocating running out and joining a coven, but I do think there is a lot of wisdom to be had there.

I feel much better when I eat a diet of what I think humans were designed to eat. Berries, nuts, whole grains, olives, the fatty fishes. Dairy makes me feel terrible, however plain yogurt does not.

Low impact exercise helps too. I think we need to celebrate the things our body was designed to do. It can move! Now, things like running or aerobics feel like an assault to my system and just make me more depressed, however, skipping brings me a lot of joy. Certain types of yoga help, and I wouldn't underestimate the power of dancing just for the hell of it.

I love to dig in dirt and plant, I can't wait until spring. Like you, I think that humans were meant to create, yet so much of our time is spent sort of milling around, I mean we get stuff done, but we haven't produced anything. Cooking, crafting, sewing, painting give me expression to that inner drive to produce. I do not view this as an indulgence, I think of it is an innate human drive.

Now, I'm not perfect at this, I mean, I can flat out sit down and eat a bowl of Kraft macaroni and cheese (with the cheese in a packet). I'm also a wonderful sitter. But the closer I bring myself to these things, the more alive and in tune with my body I feel. It is capable of wonderful, beautiful amazing things.

[chaotic13]

Treehouse and Elliemay I like some of the things you suggested. I do try and meditate, light up a nice scented candle, and exercise. I've also recently when out and selected my own crystals for a chakra set. Technically I am to completely sold on the power of the crystal thing, but I do like the idea of assigning my own significance to them and usings...items as a way of helping me focus and being attention and intention to different areas of my life.Elliemay what you said about simplicity was good. I have all these ideas but I need something relatively simple to follow but challenging to do. It the movie I mention the main character likes to cook so she cooked her way through Julia Child's cookbook. So the cookbook was tangible (had a beginning and end), it was challenging because there were 500+ recipes but only 365 days to do them, but the task could be broken down into little do able tasks. IDK...the cooking activity is cool...but I don't really like cooking. LOL

At the moment I am browsing through the Oriental Medicine approaches-5 elements stuff, it is totally new to me and honestly...too complex trying to think about meridians and figuring out what specifically to do.

IDK... IT WINTER...I'M BORED...getting fatter...I just think it could be therapeutic to invest a little bit of time in myself and do something. The one year I read the Simple Abundance book which kind of recommended that you focus on one principle a month. That was good.

chaotic, i don't know if you'd be interested in this but it isn't really cooking. there is a site all about the health benefits of eating the mediterranean and asian diets: mediterrasian.com. i just dig this site. it's not a diet either. it's just a focus on healthy eating based on the two healthiest cultures ways of eating. i've been wanting to get the book for awhile and just put a hold on it at my library. the website is chock full of good, interesting info. i am slowly trying to eat this way more and more and it feels good knowing i'm treating the old temple right when i do it.

So, this might seem really stupid and simplistic, but one of the most purifying things I find is going outside in the morning and facing the sun and taking deep breaths of fresh air. And then spending a couple minutes thinking about the beauty of nature, while being in it.

It may not be what you are looking for, but there is some belief that the human body cycles like nature. And the more in-tune we are with nature, the more in-tune we are with ourselves.

I find for me that even when I am so down in life, that this can help me hang on.

peace-

[chaotic13]

Solarwind, that is a great way to start the day...taking a moment to connect with the beauty around you...I just might add that to the list.Bloom I am definitely going to have a consumption aspect to the ritual too. I don't want to call it a diet because...even though ultimately I want to take off a few pounds...its more about health than weight. Also diet seems to connect more with restriction...I've had enough constriction at this point, I'm thinking expansion. Its time for more yang and ying.

Yesterday I started a new log. At the moment I'm recording what I eat..this alone usually brings my overeating undercontrol a bit. I've also been kicking around the idea of trying some new food/dish each week. I also created a sheet for exercise...need to do something new and challenging with that. And another sheet labeled mindfulness. I found a book that list a bunch of different body awareness exercises so...I'm thinking of selecting one exercise a week and practicing it daily. Now I'm thinking gratitute needs to be in there too. 4 focus areas, quick little daily routines sounds do able. Now I need a tangible goal(s) for myself.

What I'm hoping is that like in the movie the little steps will lead to little shifts, which will lead to ...me feeling better about me. Sound like a plan??? Me likes having plan.

[sunrise]

I think your plan sounds great, chaotic. I checked out a magazine from the library (I forgot its name), and it contains simple information on living more healthfully, like eating better and exercise and meditation. I am trying to get some ideas from this. If I like the mag enough, maybe I will subscribe. Yesterday I made a recipe from this mag, and it was good--a chicken-tomato-garbanzo bean stew flavored with cinnamon and cumin. It was good!

Last session with my T, he was trying to get me to establish a 5 minute routine (maybe it could be called a "ritual") in the morning. He wants me to sit in the same place each morning for 5 minutes with a timer, so I don't cheat and not do the full 5 minutes. During this 5 minutes I am supposed to eat something for breakfast. He says it should be something easy, not something I have to spend time cooking, just a set thing I can eat at the table and not have to take time to prepare (e.g. yogurt, a granola bar, a nutrition drink, etc.). And during this 5 minutes I eat it and just slow the pace down for a few minutes, and also I can take some of my meds during this time. I am now on 2 different antibiotics, a blood pressure med, an aspirin, and a couple of others--they add up to "too many" and I forget to take them. So this little morning ritual is partly for the purpose of getting me to take my drugs at the same time each day.

I have not implemented this yet, because I haven't been able to find a timer, but I did buy some energy bars as my easy morning food (Luna bars). I am also hoping if I actually eat breakfast, it will lead to not eating too much later in the day due to an empty stomach.

I am also taking a mindfulness class now (1 graduate college credit!), and learning some meditation techniques (it is hard to quiet my brain!), so I am going to try to be mindful about my eating during my 5 minutes. You know--chew the food slowly and be mindful of how it feels, tastes, etc.

One problem I foresee is whether I can get my daughter to respect my 5 minutes and let me sit for that long. I am often rushing around in the morning trying to get us both ready to move out the door to work/school.

I like the idea of the log you started, chaotic. Maybe I will do that too. It could be very reinforcing. Can you share the title of the book with the mind-body exercises?

My T also wanted me to buy a planner and write down daily lists of what I need to do, and then check things off as I do them (advice from one ADHD person to another). So I got the planner. He said the very first thing I need to schedule is time for myself. He said make that top priority. I have a really hard time with that. He says schedule the me time very first, then schedule other things around it. I told him that was very radical and I wasn't sure if I could do it. (I just don't do things for myself, really, or I do them after everything and everyone is taken care of.) I am not doing so well here, but I did schedule one thing in my planner for myself, actually adding it to the list for that day: "watch the season premier of Lost." LOL. That's so pathetic, I know. But I did put one thing on the list!

I hope you will continue to share ideas. Do you schedule time for yourself or do things for yourself regularly?

Originally Posted by sunrise

He said the very first thing I need to schedule is time for myself. He said make that top priority. I have a really hard time with that. He says schedule the me time very first, then schedule other things around it.

Ha! My T told me the EXACT SAME THING last Thursday. Maybe some "Humanistic T Newsletter" went out with instructions to say this to their clients Or, more likely, maybe you and I are the same in having this need.

I actually haven't been able to do it yet. T told me to do it and I honestly just put it right out of my mind, for real...until I read this! I do grab time for myself - I knitted a lot on Sunday - but it's very haphazard and unpredictable and only comes AFTER everything else is done and everyone else is taken care of.

T told me he wants me to take 20 or 30 minutes sometime each day to just BE. To get the boys busy doing something and go shut myself in my room. This is a totally radical concept to me.

Maybe we can both agree to try to schedule that for ourselves once this week? I think I could do it once....

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by treehouse

Ha! My T told me the EXACT SAME THING last Thursday. Maybe some "Humanistic T Newsletter" went out with instructions to say this to their clients

It could be the truth! Maybe you can ask your T, LOL.

I actually haven't been able to do it yet. T told me to do it and I honestly just put it right out of my mind, for real...until I read this! I do grab time for myself - I knitted a lot on Sunday - but it's very haphazard and unpredictable and only comes AFTER everything else is done and everyone else is taken care of.

Well, I've only scheduled "Lost" that one time, so far. Kind of lame, but it's a start. Yes, I am used to only doing something for me after everything and everyone else is taken care of. And then I am usually too tired, and it is bedtime.

This is a totally radical concept to me.

Me too. I remember last session after T said all this, he asked, "what do you think of that?", meaning scheduling time for myself. I had been silent after hearing his spiel. And I said, "that sounds... really radical to me." And he just laughed and laughed. He thought I was going to say, "that sounds great," or something like that. LOL

Maybe we can both agree to try to schedule that for ourselves once this week?

OK, the deal's on. I am going to target Wednesday evening. I have a midterm tomorrow, so I won't have to study after the test, and my daughter is out of town... Hmmm, what should I do? What are you going to do?

Anyone else want to join us in doing something for themselves this week? Chaotic?

Originally Posted by sunrise

OK, the deal's on. I am going to target Wednesday evening. I have a midterm tomorrow, so I won't have to study after the test, and my daughter is out of town... Hmmm, what should I do? What are you going to do?

Anyone else want to join us in doing something for themselves this week? Chaotic?

I think I will target Thursday afternoon for 30 minutes. T specifically wants me to find time for myself during the day when I am homeschooling the boys. Honestly, I think I will just rest in my room and try to clear my mind. Maybe read. It sounds nice.

[chaotic13]

OMG...my T has totally been there with me too. Actually, when I first started T I DID block out a time for just me. I was 6-7 am. I still have that time block but...lately I've been sleeping through it. Hence my enlarging a@@ and my feeling of regression. I totally need to get motivated. I need a ritual and something to keep me accountable for not following through.

Sunrise...an evening to yourself...hmmm. Are you thinking of keeping it to yourself or using it to interact with someone...you want to interact with? I have some ideas for you.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by chaotic13

Sunrise...an evening to yourself...hmmm. Are you thinking of keeping it to yourself or using it to interact with someone...you want to interact with? I have some ideas for you.

I would love to hear your ideas.

[Kiya]

I do sea salt baths and take a book along =)

[BlueMoon6]

Chaotic- I thinnk we are on the same quest! As far as detox goes, I have found that Yogi Tea makes a good detox tea. I have even asked at my local co-op what they might recommend for detox and had good results. Also, I used to do TCM- Traditional Chinese Medicine and accupuncture with a practitioner after each of my babies for cleansing. I began to read about TCM and liked the principles there. I think I liked it so much because it worked so well for me.

I have been doing yoga. There are some poses that specifically open up the internal organs to allow the breath to flow through. I find these kinds of things very cleansing for my body and my mind. Especially the mindfulness that goes along with practicing the poses.

This is a really really good topic and I love the responses. Im going to try some of these things myself, too.

Tree- Im looking for a good meditation CD. Any recommendations?

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by sunrise

OK, the deal's on. I am going to target Wednesday evening. I have a midterm tomorrow, so I won't have to study after the test, and my daughter is out of town... Hmmm, what should I do? What are you going to do?

I must admit, I failed at this. I did not do anything Wednesday for myself, and I have been running around like crazy doing too many things, mostly getting 3 hours of sleep a night. I have a lot of deadlines, like submitting the FAFSA for both me and my daughter by Feb. 28, so there are all these financial records to take care of. I think now I will choose a new date after Feb 28, so maybe Sunday or Monday (next) evening.

(I wasn't trying to be negative by using the word "failed", but I hear it a lot lately. Saying "fail" is now a very popular expression with both my teen and young adult daughter. They say it about themselves as well as others. Like they will screw up in some way and pronounce "Fail.")

Anyone else have any success last week taking some time for themselves? What did you do?

LOL - we yell "fail" a lot around here. Or say "that's so fail".

I WENT AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND. How unbelievable is that? I left Saturday at 9 and came home Sunday around 2. I was about 90 minutes away from home in a cabin in the mountains with 5 of my friends. We talked, and ate out, and knitted and watched the olympics, and laughed so much that my stomach still hurts. It was awesome.

Today, I tried to keep my committment to myself to take a little time during the day for myself, so I read a book for about 10 minutes, got REALLY sleepy and took a 10 minute nap. After that, I felt kind of "filled up" and ready to get back into the day, and got back to work, but felt more refreshed.

I really do think it would be good to try to make breaks a ritual. My day and night away was the first time I've ever done that, ever. That's pretty extravagant, but it seems like I *should* be able to squeeze 20 minutes of reading or whatever into the middle of most days, you know?

[chaotic13]

Wellll....I wouldn't go as far as saying I failed, because... I haven't made a ritual to to follow yet. BUT WHEN I DO....I'm sure I follow it!

Now Last week I DID succeed in making time for myself! And my body, despite what the scale says, was grateful for the attention. First, I did not allow myself to feel obligated to perform any wifely duties that I didn't genuinely feel like doing. Second, my back was really stiff for a few days, I took action to address this problem myself but I ALSO took the initiative to spend some money on myself and scheduled a session with my incredible bodyworker. This was well worth it because unlike my T, my bodyworker can be my friend and can touch me. We are not hangout, everyday friends- there are clear professional boundaries for the touch in this situation; but it is a real 2 way interaction. Third, I enjoyed a nice outing with a friend over the weekend...so I am feeling abundantly blessed at the moment.

You know I think the problem we all get into is feeling like if we are not giving and providing for others we are some how not doing our job or fullifilling our "life's purpose". Well this weekend....I spent money and time on myself and get this .... "my family survived!" If only I can remember this lesson, next week or the week after that I wouldn't need to create a winter ritual to get rid of the toxic build-up in my head and body.

[chaotic13]

Originally Posted by sunrise

I would love to hear your ideas.

Sorry Sunrise I was so busy self indulging that I didn't see this post.

The book with the mind-body practices I was refering to is "Discovering The Body's Wisdom" by Mirka Knaster. I about it in the one chapter in Bodywork thread but throughout the book it has little awareness exercises that only take 5-10 minutes to do but are designed to connect you with your inner wisdom and...well I'm kind of into that at the moment.

Some relaxing activities I've done with a few hours to myself include:

Grabbing some old magazines and sitting with sissors and cliping out stupid things that catch my eye... I'm not much of a physical shopper but while in the privacy of my own home I can come up with some wacky outfits cool home decor.

Recently I've purchased "objects" to play with while meditating. Things like a set of crystals that represent each of the chakras. IDK if I really buy into the belief that.. malachite can absorb negative energy or that placing my little piece of kyanite in the area of the throat chakra while I meditate can help me communicate better with people, but at the very least they are cool to look at, reflect on, and imagine myself opening up these percieved blockages.

I've also started experimenting with playing different background music or burning different scented candles while I am reading, working at home, or just engaging in DOING NOTHING productive. Nothing like a little music and aroma therapy :-)

Honestly, I never thought to bother with stuff like that before...I wonder if this is a sign the middle age is really setting in.

Spotted Owl if you're reading this one.... who knows where I might venture next... the towel-less spa?...Still seems a bit out of reach; but...ya never know now, do ya?

OR A live dog to give the evil rabbit a good chase might be OK.

Some background on that statement- A few weeks ago I had an incredibly challenging T-session where my T ended up lecturing me about men and how you can't really talk to them during sex because their like dogs caught up in chasing a rabbit. Well...on the outside I remained fairly quiet on hearing this lecture but on the inside...my Teen was ready to explode on hearing her comments. Instead I left that session and immediately drew this:

[SpottedOwl]

(((chaotic)))


Just from the tone of your posts, I'd say you did a good job starting your detox!

So often, when we think detox, we think about detoxing the body...but what about detoxing the mind?

I struggled with really bad adult onset acne after a trauma. Nothing I did externally seemed to cure the problem, until I decided to just start loving myself. Every time I passed a mirror I made myself stop and say "i love you, you are beautiful". I stopped wearing makeup, and decided to just try to accept myself as I was. Before I started this 'mental detox', I felt like a monster, I called myself a monster...so of course my body went along.

After years of struggling, my skin is cleared and slowly healing. As a result, I'm a big fan of using the mirror, or shedding of external masks to free oneself. There is something mentally cleansing about letting it all hang out and realizing that people still like you.

So, love that body with ALL of those curves. Every bit of it is part of you, and that makes it lovable.

[chaotic13]

Ah spotted....I'm hearing the chorus in the background, "I am beautiful. No matter what they say..."

You are soooo right about detoxing the mental noise. I remember the "you are what you eat" posters in the school cafe. Its a wonder T's offices don't have similar posters.."We are what we think we are." Oh, yeah, I guess phil. already did that one..I think therefore, I AM.

Alrighty then... I am a cute, fuzzy, bunny wabbit.Bunny Foofoo...Hmmm..does that make my T the good fairy?

Sorry...guess I'm a bit manic today.