[o.kay]

I had an appointment yesterday-- I had a lot on my mind- homework assignments had stirred up alot of stuff. T was ten minuntes late. She asked me what I'd learned from the assignments. My reply was that the past issues still had soooo much power over me. She said "well rip up the assignments, burn them and get rid of it."

If it was that easy I wouldn't need T. She then said that's all I have for you today. I looked at my watch I'd been there 30 mins. I travel 20 mins. to get there, miss work, and drive 20 mins back for what?

I just don't think she gets me. I've been trying to make this work for about 8 sessions ( after having a T I related well with for a couple of years.)
Is it me? Do I need to do something different? Or is it time to call it quits?

[jexa]

O.kay, it sounds like this T does not have the expertise to help you. She even said, that's all she has for you. What a simplistic way to approach therapy! A good T would have jumped on what you said about the past having power over you, instead of throwing her hands up in the air and saying, fine, burn the assignment then!

I regret wasting time with a T who did not help me. I spent 7 months feeling like it was MY fault therapy wasn't working -- but in the end, we just didn't have that connection that is essential to successful therapy.

O.kay, you deserve a therapist you connect with, who treats you like a human being. I hope you find one.

[WePow]

Personally, I wouldn't go back if my life depended on it - OH WAIT! It does!!!
We depend on a T to give us what we need and direction. If that T is not helping you to reclaim your mental health, then I strongly suggest finding someone who can give you that. T's don't just wait for us to report in and then say "That's all folks!"
A good T like mine actually thinks about what he wants "US" as a TEAM to work on TOGETHER for the healing to happen. He is very much an active part of my healing. I think that is what it should be like.

[Fartraveler]

If you're paying for 50 minutes, then why is she giving you 30 minutes? That's not right.

And why didn't she go over the homework with you? It doesn't seem right, for her to dismiss it so easily when you took the trouble to do it.

Normally, one would say, give the relationship time, etc. But since you had a good T relationship for many years, then you clearly know what a T relationship is supposed to be like. And also, you're someone who can work with a T.

So, I think your dissatisfaction with this T is based on something real. So, yes, terminate, and find someone you can work with.

-Far

[googley]

I agree with the others. You said that you have been trying to make this work for 8 sessions. By that time you should know if it is going to work or not, and it seems like this T is not going to work. It also seems like from what you said this is not the first time you have found her unhelpful. (Ie trying to make it work for eight sessions). Usually I would say to go back and see if it was an odd day, but since you hint that this is the norm, that is not my advice this time. I would start looking for a new T pronto. You were willing to be open about what you learned from the homework and she wasn't able to hear it as a chance to discuss it. Time to let her go. I'm assuming you are in the US, but if not then this may not apply. If she is billing insurance it is actually illegal for her not to give you the fully contracted time and then bill the insurance for the whole time (not saying she would, but it seems likely). I wouldn't want to go to a T with those ethics.

You deserve better. It is hard to do, but go out and find it.

[olivia224]

my therapist just dumped me basically b/c she thinks i have made not a lot of progress... im totally lost and upset right now and dont no what to do....if she cant help me then who can...im freaking out....i should have asked her why she cant help me and what i did wrong??

It sounds like you given this a fair chance to work. It might be time to start looking for a different t.

[Tomtalk]

Originally Posted by o.kay

I had an appointment yesterday-- I had a lot on my mind- homework assignments had stirred up alot of stuff. T was ten minuntes late. She asked me what I'd learned from the assignments. My reply was that the past issues still had soooo much power over me. She said "well rip up the assignments, burn them and get rid of it."

If it was that easy I wouldn't need T. She then said that's all I have for you today. I looked at my watch I'd been there 30 mins. I travel 20 mins. to get there, miss work, and drive 20 mins back for what?

I just don't think she gets me. I've been trying to make this work for about 8 sessions ( after having a T I related well with for a couple of years.)
Is it me? Do I need to do something different? Or is it time to call it quits?

I think that you should find a replacement T I and then cancel. You shouldn't probably be without any thearpy because that would probably be really stressful.

[Tomtalk]

Originally Posted by Fartraveler

If you're paying for 50 minutes, then why is she giving you 30 minutes? That's not right.

And why didn't she go over the homework with you? It doesn't seem right, for her to dismiss it so easily when you took the trouble to do it.

Normally, one would say, give the relationship time, etc. But since you had a good T relationship for many years, then you clearly know what a T relationship is supposed to be like. And also, you're someone who can work with a T.

So, I think your dissatisfaction with this T is based on something real. So, yes, terminate, and find someone you can work with.

-Far

Do you know because I'm not sure, is there a requirement about how long they have to have sessions to work. I know some say 45 min others say 1hour but over 2 sessions your getting a half hour less. That seems unfair but if it helps i don't think the fifteen mins is worth getting upset about.

[peaches100]

I find your t's statement very strange. I would want to know why she said that. Did she say it with a straight face? She wasn't joking, right?

If you have felt uncomfortable with her throughout the several sessions, it would be advisable to let her know this and/or find a new t.