so i can barely drag myself anywhere, but i tried another T. i went to the appointment and it was long and there was alot of talking, some that i thought was a little too forward for the first session but i tried.

then t asked like 3-4 times "do you want to work"

what does this mean? why would i drag myself to therapy and pay alot of money i dont have if this was a question.

i dont get it.

[ECHOES]

did you ask T why T was asking the question?
some questions just beg a question in return...

[jexa]

I don't know why a T would ask this question 3-4 times. Your first response should have been good enough.. but then again, I don't know all the details. Was the question about actual employment, or "working hard" in therapy? What did you say when she asked these questions?

Good for you for dragging yourself to T.

[sunrise]

Do you think he meant do you want to work together? You know, see each other again? A first session is kind of a trial, so maybe he wanted to know if you wanted to continue with him. I think when we first meet someone, not just a new T, we don't know their communication patterns and styles and it is easy to not get what they are saying. With familiarity that all changes (hopefully). If he was OK besides this one question, is that enough for you to want to see him again?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Solarwind

so i can barely drag myself anywhere, but i tried another T. i went to the appointment and it was long and there was alot of talking, some that i thought was a little too forward for the first session but i tried.

then t asked like 3-4 times "do you want to work"

what does this mean? why would i drag myself to therapy and pay alot of money i dont have if this was a question.

i dont get it.

the T is trying to figure out where your head is at right now. some people sign up for therapy, they get there and its like suddenly their head draws a blank on what their problem is and what they want to work on. the therapist has to write up the paperwork so t hey have to have an idea of where your head is at like whether you are ready to leap right in and get to work, or if you need more time getting to know the therapist, the room and any boundries / exceptions that have been discussed. are you ready to get to work on setting up treatment goals and then working on those goals. if so t he therapist and you can get down to talking about why you are there, what problems brought you to them and talk about how to fix those problems. they cant do it alone and they aren't mind readers. they cant wave Dumbledores (from harry potter movies) memory wand and using magiic withdraw those problems from your head. you need to tell them your problem and help come up with ways of how you want to fix the problems. then work on doing those things to fix it.

[darkrunner]

Solarwind,
I would be put-off by that question too. To me it would feel almost accusatory? demanding? I'm not sure. I guess it would really depend on the context and the tone of voice. But from just reading about it in your post, I don't like it.

Maybe that's just me though, and the baggage I bring to it. With my last two T's, I've gotten the sense that they don't think I don't want to work. I actually asked my last T about it, and she said that she knew I wanted to work, because I drove 90 minutes to get there after working all day, and I never missed a session. And why would I do that if I wasn't motivated.

But then she said other things that made me think differently.

I felt like there were mixed messages and it confused me, and of course I felt like the indirect messages were true, and the direct answer she gave me was not true. Maybe that is just my trust issues?

Sorry for my rambling, Solarwind. For me, this question would be a red flag about the T. I agree with the others and that you should ask the T about what she meant. I guess you will have to trust your gut instinct about whether or not you trust the answer.

[looking4polaris]

Originally Posted by Solarwind

then t asked like 3-4 times "do you want to work"

I'm certainly not intending this to poke fun at something that was distressing, but that question the T asked just gives me visions of a bulked-up fitness trainer shouting at a trainee. I would not have liked to hear that question my first time out with a T. I would have had the same reaction you did.

BTW...Hats off to you for going in the first place.

[Ascension]

When I first started treatment, I thought I was ready to "work", but honestly I was terrified of getting better and then failing. I didn't know "how" to work therapy or the process. I didn't even know if there was any hope for me to get better. I am not saying you are there but some people can be and not even know it. This therapist will most likely be the type that will challenge you a bit so you may want to strongly consider that. Obviously you want to work, because as you said you went to an appointment that you weren't really looking forward to, but this was your first session and you two are feeling each other out. In any event I hope you are safe and do what is best for YOU. There are times when I can be pushed and other times that I can't, as anyone else, and knowing where I am at is hard. Shalom.