[ahc82]

Ive never actually said this to anyone before, and am ashamed to even say it here.

Ever since memories of CSA started to resurface 5 years ago I have been using food as my "drug". Its whats kept me safe. So now I find myself having gained my body weight twice over & too ashamed to get any help. The few times Ive tried seeing a T for CSA etc theyve been really cold and uncaring. I am obese, and I know I need to work through the CSA so I can fix that too, but am too ashamed to see someone. I feel like nobody could possibly care about someone my weight. I believe it completely

So Im asking is anyone out there obese / overeater / binge eater and seeing a T who DOES care about them?

I just dont know if theres any hope there

[Melbadaze]

If you find a good T she or he will not judge you.

[darkrunner]

I agree with Meladaze - it sounds like you need to see the right therapist.

Also, I don't know if you've considered inpatient or residential treatment - that would allow you to work on both issues (food and CSA) at the same time. When I was in residential treatment last summer it really helped.
(if you want to talk about that more, feel free to PM me.)

I know it's hard for you to believe, but you DO deserve caring no matter what your weight is.

[WePow]

Our T works with ED and CSA together - so I know some are out there who do care. Maybe you can contact a weight management center in your area and ask them for a referal to a T - even if you are not wanting to get involved with their program. Sometimes they have references on file.

[jexa]

I am not overweight but my T works a lot with sexual trauma and also obesity. She does weight management groups, etc. She is somewhat overweight herself. And, she absolutely, positively would care about any person who walked through her door asking for help. ahc, so would I. Has a T ever treated you badly because of your weight?

[bluesylady]

Hi ahc, I'm so sorry you're feeling so terrible right now. Don't be ashamed to get help. A good, compationate caring therapist will not judge you. They are there to help you. Food may have been your "drug of choice" to protect you but it was also a coping mechanism and now you realize it's not working anymore or if it ever worked. I've been there, done that and still fall back on overeating when things get too overwhelming. There are much better ways of coping and a therapist can help you with that too. I really understand how you feel. You deserve to feel better in every way, physically, psychologically, mentally and spiritually. You have every right to live a happy, healthy life. You just need to believe that and make that first step. Acknowledge that you are worth it! Contact a few therapists and interview them to see who you think you will be able to work best with. There is some very good information on PC about psychotherapy and finding a therapist. There was a good blog on How to Find a Good Therapist but for some reason it appears the link isn't working. If you would like to talk feel free to pm me.

I wish you all the best on your journey to health and healing. How's that saying go? A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step or something like that lol but it's true. And what a journey it is.

Be well and take care,
bl

[Sannah]

ahc, people do discriminate against obese people. It is sad. I volunteer at my girl's elementary. I did a small presentation to my daughter's class about a bully technique that I learned at a conference. Later that day I was in the bleachers watching my daughter's basketball game. One of the girls in the class approached me and asked if she could sit with me. She is obese. I knew exactly why she came to me that day. I noticed she hadn't showered and she smelled really bad. Anyone could see how she would be a target. She talked and talked to me that day and cried and cried. I told her that I would meet with her every week so we could talk (I do this with many kids in this school). She came showered and dressed really nice from that day on. She is a smart girl. She just wanted someone to listen. She has just blossomed. She has done so much problem solving with her issues. I saw beyond her surface and saw who she was inside and now she has done so well.

This is your first step and you can find a therapist who can listen to you and help you too.

my weight is a constant yo~yo....and the only comment i ever received from t on my weight was once "how much weight have you lost?" and it was more out of concern than anything else... i don't think he would ever judge me just because of my weight...there are a lot of caring t's out there... don't give up

[mixedup_emotions]

I am obese...and my T cares about me. I really believe it when he tells me.

Although I also feel very self-conscious about my weight and feel as though a man would never be attracted to me physically because of my weight. I have a history of physical abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse, and CSA....so, when I see someone who is overweight but seems so free and loving of themselves, I wonder if it's my weight that holds me back or if it's something else. Hard to know.