Regression.

Lately T seems to be mentioning the word abuse. I tell her that it was just my life, just normal. Today she said about me having regessed stuff. I know that word but I look it up anyways, and something about actually Reading about it hits home. Somewhere deep, deep inside of me I know. Its all so difficult to see when as I say it was just my life, so heyho, but somewhere deep, deep inside me its not heyho, its awful, but still, it was just my life.

oops repression not regression, my bad.

I can soooo relate to this, Melba....

My T has said many times that I have "very sophisticated repression"...whatever that means.

And that many things that are quite impactful seemed to not impact me as much as they could have....but the reality, that I am learning, is that I repressed a LOT....and I WAS affected more than I could have ever imagined.

It's hard to go where it hurts too much to be aware. I don't know if it's the same thing, but when I told the prospective T, the one I chose not to see, about my past, she said I minimize the effects of my experiences. Something to think about. Not sure if that's the same as repression-making light of things that some people call abuse.

Just remember that repressing painful memories was really a smart thing to do at one point in your life. It wasn't a bad thing to do at all. It's a great self-protection strategy. You can unpack the painful stuff very slowly when you feel ready.

Sometimes it's all we know.
If someone gives a child a red ball and tells them it is green, the child says she has a red ball...until someone comes along willing to speak up and say, 'No love, that is a green ball you have '.

What a great insight. Something new to work on..........