[crystalrose]

I have therapy with a pdoc and so far i havent felt safe to be in therapy without dissociating, or splitting, or protector going in. So i'm paying for therapy but not fully present there. Some seesions i have written in my diary as gone to but cannot remember what happened after i got there.


Anyone know how to fix this so the others dont take over all the time?

[crystalrose]

i be feel sad

[Melbadaze]

thats is part of the therapy, we take our coping skills and "show" and a competent therapist will work with those parts.

[peaches100]

Crystalrose,

Usually, dissociation happens because there is some perceived danger and a person does not feel fully safe. So they kind of "check out" and separate their awareness from what is happening in the present. It could be that you haven't developed enough trust in your t yet. Or perhaps you feel afraid of what the therapy work is bringing up in you. It could be fear of feeling your emotions, or fear of memories. Or something about your t or being with him is triggering you. Can you pinpoint why you don't feel safe enough to be fully present? What would make you feel safer?

[polarsmom]

I think my last session was sorta like what you are saying. I apoligize if it's not and I'm just rambling.

I was stressed and angry about something that happened the night before. And was having to take care of the problem that AM. Even after it was fixed, over and done with, that was all I could think about. And it really wasn't anything of great importance. Several hours afterwards I still couldn't move past it. I didn't feel like going to therapy. And I really couldn't tell you what else we talked about that day. I don't remember. I went to therapy. I was physically there but mentally I was still stuck on the situation from the night before. I know that I talked to him about it. But is that all I talked about? I dunno. Honestly, I can't tell you what happened because I still don't remember anything else about that day. However, I did feel better about the situation that was stressing me out when I left his office. I didn't feel so ticked off about it. So I guess it was theraputic in that aspect. Later that day I was trying to remember what we discussed (like I usually do) and was disappointed in myself for not making the most out of my time with T. I remembered stuff that I was wanting to talk to him about. Stuff that we had touched on the previous week. But after a few days I realized that THAT particular day was something of the 'norm' for me. Something will stress me out. Little stuff. And it will weigh heavy on me for the day. I can't move past it. It will wreck the day for me. Suck the life out of me. So, I guess in a way it was a learning experience. Because tomorrow when I see my T it will be something that I plan to bring that up. And hopefully brainstorm with him about how to prevent days like that again.

Have you thought to ask your T about refreshing your memory about what you talked about in previous sessions? Maybe you will see some sort of pattern?