[kim_johnson]

i feel like i'm moving on from my therapist. i think that that is a good thing. i'm feeling kind of disconnected... but i'm not really missing that so much. there are certain things about me that he doesn't get but most of them are artifacts of the therapy situation anyway, so i don't suppose it matters much whether he gets it or not and whether i work through it or not.

i will be a happy person indeed when i can get the social contact and support that i need from my day to day life instead of needing to go see someone like him. i think that i am starting to be able to do that more. i don't know whether it is just that i'm going through a good phase at the moment and whether i might revert if / when things get stressful or whether this is more persistent. guess only time will tell with that. but still, i am progressing.

next year... i'm applying for this program that i really want to do. it will take years... at least six of them lol. i'll have to work really hard academically on stuff that is a bit different from what i'm used to doing. i'm so excited about the prospect of doing it. meeting other people doing the same thing. getting some good friendships where we study together sometimes and stress about exams together and get smashed after exams together. i really miss that aspect of undergraduate psychology.

i won't be working with my t or most likely any t when i do that. but i really do think... that i might well be moving towards this place in my life where i feel comfortable about doing that.

i really do think... that (in a sense) i'm 'cured'. i... don't see myself as being 'mentally disordered' or 'sick' anymore. fragile sometimes to be sure but many people i know are fragile. doesn't make ya mentally ill. i'm... better. will see how resilient i am at times of stress... won't beat myself up if i need more supports at times... but i really think... i'm actually living my life. and now it feels... really very odd to go see this dude who is paid to support / talk to me. i just... have other people in my life who do that. and i do that for them... and seeing him... just strikes me as very odd.

[theave]

That's great to hear - it sounds like you've made so much progress. And I guess that's what the therapeutic relationship is all about - enabling people to no longer need that sort of support. A bit like being a parent I suppose - it is my responsibility to bring them up in such a way that they will be ready to live life away from home, though I will still be there if needed.

I am also making tentative steps in the same direction - I don't think I am "depressed" any more, and am contemplating returning to study, and am cutting down the frequency of my T visits - not ready to go without completely yet, but I can see there will be a day when that will be the case, which is not something I believed till very recently.

All the best.