New T is nice but...

Since I had such a horrible exerience with my last T, Im just not feeling it. Should I take a break from therapy all together for awhile and then look for another one? Its almost been a year since my last T did what he did and It really makes me angry that now I have to focus on issues with him on top of the other things I was in therapy for. The new one is very nice and very intellegent, but when I go its like I cant wait for the apt to be over. At least when I am a therapist I will know how not to treat clients. I mean they go to school for 8 or more years, they know its a 365, 24/7 job, they know they are making themselves responsible for other peoples lives its what they signed up for so why do so many seem to be so awful? Were they just thinking about all the money they would be making and forgetting that there are lives at stake? Whats the point in being a T if they cant handle it? My thoughts on how to treat a client would be if I wouldnt treat a friend that way, I wouldnt treat a client that way.

One of the things you need to remember is that the t you don't like may be wonderful to a different client. Personalities that grate on you may not bother another person at all. Techniques you don't like may work beautifully for someone else. That's the nature of the profession.

As far as taking a break goes, only you can know. If this t isn't working for you, maybe a break is in order or maybe you need to find a better fit. Or, maybe your last experience is bleeding into your relationship with this new t. Hope you work it out.

the first t got angry with me because I was suicidal and hung up on me. He was emotionally abusive for a few months leading up to that incident, its not that I didnt like him its that he purposely did things to hurt me. And yes they were on purpose and no it was not just my perception, im not going to go into what he did but it was very very wrong! And I doubt it would be a good thing for him to do to someone else. I almost died because of this man.

The new T called what the old T did emotional rape and that I have developed PTSD from it. Im suffering the same as I did after I was physically raped.

That's terrible, but it doesn't change anything that I said. You commented on how therapists treat their clients. You were generalizing (as far as I could tell), so I gave you an answer to your general comment. I would also think such a horrible experience would definitely make me hesitant to trust any future t's. That would be a natural reaction. That was terrible. Did you take any action against him?

I think perhaps this ties into my thread entitlted "sick industry"...

Oh I know farmer girl I was just giving more information, I wasnt jumping on you lol. I wanted to file a complaint even an anonymous one, but the fact that it would be a therapists word against mine makes me not want to do it and if it were to go to a hearing my therapy records would be public and I told him things I have never talked to anyone about so I dont want all of that made public. So basically im too afraid to do anything about it.

Yeah, I hear you. Sometimes the cost of fighting the system is just too high.

From what I have heard the licensing board does all they can to not have to punish the therapist. I think they probably also do all they can to make sure the person filing the complaint look like a disgruntled client. I even tried to talk to the head of complaints about this situation and she was less then helpful. I wonder though If I filed it anonymously they couldnt call on me about it they would just investigate him, but then again if I did that it would make it easier for him to lie. So its a lose lose situation for me it seems.

So there is something awful about your current therapist that makes you want to quit? You've explained about how awful your previous therapist was, but what about the current one? That's the decision you're faced with now--whether you should take a break from the current T or not. It sounds like your new T is treating you badly? If so, you don't have to go to appointments and torture yourself with being in her presence if she is so awful to you. If she is awful and doesn't treat you well, then a break sounds like a good idea.

No my new t is nice, I just dont really feel a connection its the old t that did all of that bad things. Sorry my writing gets confusing sometimes.

And I think that the lack of connection is because of my former t. I forgot to add that.

If your lack of connection is due to your former T, then it seems like if you looked for another therapist, you might have the problem with that one too--inability to connect due to your experience with the awful T. So I guess I would suggest sticking with the current T and working on the problem of the former therapist. Maybe if you can work through that, you will find you are able to connect again. Have you discussed with your current T about how you feel unable to connect with her and why? She would probably find it really useful to know that.

Good luck. This sounds really hard.

I will bring that up in my next apt. I see what you mean about having the same problem with any t if I dont work on the issues with the former.