If it's not one thing, it's another . . .

My husband, who also has bipolar disorder, was triggered by my recent hospital stay, and he is completely and utterly unstable right now. He is having ruminating suicidal thoughts; he's hallucinating; and, generally he is extremely delusional.

He saw our t yesterday and was told that he needs to go into the hospital. T called me last night to see how things were going. My husband is refusing to admit himself. T reminded me that what is happening to my husband is not about me. Scott's chemistry is completely out of whack. He is not in his right mind.

I'll see how his is when I get home today. I'm not beyond calling 911 to have him taken by the police to the hospital. I've done it before. And his pdoc will have him involuntarily committed if it comes to it. But hopefully it won't. Hopefully he will have a lucid moment and know that the hospital is where he needs to be.

So, here I am, only 5 days out of the hospital myself, dealing with this kind of stress. T is taking care of me. He saw me Monday and asked to see me again tomorrow, so I'm going to take off the day to get to his appointment. It is times like this that I am so thankful that our t takes care of our whole family. He knows everything that is going on and knows what needs to happen for the benefit of all of us.

I am so glad your T is looking after you so well - what a difficult situation to be in so soon after your hospital stay. Take good care, and I hope your husband will be able to acknowledge that he needs extra help just now.

Oh Chris!!!!! how hard this is!! I'm glad too that you have yr T's help. Please take care.
I think of you as being strong, although you sure may not feel it riight now. It may even be that being needed by yr DH will help you deal with the stress. will keep you and DH in my prayers.
SAWE

(((((Chris)))))

I'm glad T is looking out for you. I hope your H gets help soon and things settle down for both of you for a while.

You seem like such a strong person.

I'm so sorry............

Oh dear

I can sure relate how it's so hard to just take care of ourselves and get back to feeling a bit better and then the partner needs as much care, sometimes even more, than we do. ugh.... it's so difficult.

My heart is with you and your husband.

I hope he will see how he can get help and it's OK to ask for it.

thinking of you

fins

Thanks guys. I see my pdoc later this afternoon. He's not going to be happy about how things are going right now. I'm taking tomorrow off. I'm hoping that maybe my husband will allow me to take him in tomorrow morning. I see t in the afternoon tomorrow. I'm working really hard at keeping my anxiety level down. Lots of deep breathing going on around here.When it rains, it pours.

My husband just called and told me he isn't going to love anymore because it just hurts too much. He is out of his mind. I called t and we decided to try to talk to him tomorrow when we meet. I know he is beyond reason right now. The delusions have taken over. But it still hurts. It hurts a lot.

(((((((((((chris)))))))))))))

this must all be so difficult with you both having bipolar. praying for peace in the storm.

wow - I am so sorry that you are going through all this. Wow. Keep on posting if you need to and know we are all here and got your back. You know how to get through this. You have been through so much and you are so strong.

I am so sorry that your hubby is so ill right now. It's not fair that the delusions have led him to say such hurtful things. Take care of yourself, okay?

If you don't care for yourself you won't be able to help your family.

Hugs.

Farmergirl,
Hang in there, this has got to be really rough for you, you are really do so well doing what you have to to be safe. Hoping your husband has a breakthrough and hears you out. Sending you hugs

Your support means the world to me. I haven't shared what is going on with my family yet; I just don't have the heart to.

I saw my pdoc this afternoon. No changes. Just wants me to see him in a month. The last thing he always says to me is to promise I won't do anything to hurt myself. He's a good man.

My husband said he didn't mean what he said earlier. I told him that I know that. I just feel so bad for him that his thoughts are so out of control. We'll see what happens tomorrow.

(((((((farmergirl)))))))
I don't know what to say, but I'm sorry you are going through this on the heels of your own hospital stay, and I hope you get some resolution soon.

Good luck today (((((((((Chris)))))))))

Chris,

I'm so sorry that this crisis has come up just behind the previous one, with really no room to recuperate or breathe! That has got to be very stressful for you!

I empathize with you, in that my husband also has bipolar disorder which is only partially regulated by medications. I know from experience it can be extremely difficult to convince someone that their thinking is off and that they need help, when they cannot see it for themselves! I also know how difficult it can be to deal with one's own mental/emotional issues, while also having a spouse with mental/emotional issues. We always hope we don't have a spiral/meltdown at the same time, so that we can support one another. But it's hard and not always under our control.

I am glad your t is supporting you through this, and glad to know that you have steps in place to enforce commitment if things get worse and your husband won't voluntarily go to the hospital. Please do continue to get the support you need from your t, and from us at PC.

We care about you!

My husband is a bit more lucid today. He has apologized for what he said. I just keep telling him that it is okay; he's not well and his thinking is really messed up. There's no really reasoning with an irrational, semi-psychotic individual. All you can do is try to let the understand that their mind is betraying them right now and that they need to rely on the help and insight of others. He says he knows he should be in the hospital, so maybe we're a step in the right direction today. We'll see.

(((Farmergirl and Husband))) - I'm glad you took care of yourself and stayed in the hospital when you needed to. So sorry to hear your husband is having a crisis. I hope he stablizes soon and you'll both be well. Thank God for the good T you have.

Well, Scott seems a bit better today. He reported to our t that where yesterday he was a 9 on a 10 point suicide scale, today he's more a 6 or 7. That's a big improvement. Thank you all for your thoughts and support.

My session with t was brutal. Lots of crying involved. I feel wrung out. Maybe I'll give details later. I'll have to think about it.

((((((( farmergirl ))))))))) I am so proud of you for being so open with your T and letting yourself feel in session today. You are doing so great with all of this.

My husband seemed to be doing okay this morning, so hopefully things are on the upswing (have my fingers and toes crossed).

Yesterday I got to something in therapy that appears to be central to my moments of suicide attempts. They've always asked me, "What were you thinking when you did it?", and I've never had an answer. All I had were feelings which are useless if you don't know where they are coming from. But yesterday something t said just clicked into place and suddenly I knew the answer. I cried and cried. At least now I know what the h*ll I'm dealing with. I have the thoughts to work with. That's huge for me.

((((((((((((((((((((( Chris ))))))))))))))))))))