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Old Jun 04, 2010, 11:07 PM
lily99's Avatar
lily99 lily99 is offline
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Posts: 303
I started a thread called "video" on the Survivors or Abuse forum, but I think maybe it's more relevant here.

Basically, I have a video file on my computer of a violent episode involving my father from a few years back.. Even though I know how it's going to end, I always end up watching it and triggering myself. I do it every year, and i'm fighting with myself not to do it. It's like I think after a year has passed I'll have better insight and discover something when i watch it.

I want to talk to T about it. I kind of want her to watch it with me...but I don't think she would. And maybe that's not a good idea.
All I know is that I'm drawn to watching it this time of year, every year. And I know I'm going to do it again. Maybe if I watched it with her, something about it would kind of be "settled"..and I'll feel like there's no need to watch it again.

I'm not sure .... thoughts?
Thanks for reading.

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  #2  
Old Jun 04, 2010, 11:32 PM
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zooropa zooropa is offline
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wow, lily, that's tough.
Have you talked to your T about the video at all? I think that's a good place to start. You could talk about why you have it and why you are drawn to watching it again and again, especially this time of year.

Why do you think your T wouldn't watch it with you, or is it just that you're afraid she will say no?
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  #3  
Old Jun 05, 2010, 04:40 AM
Melbadaze Melbadaze is offline
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sounds like compusive repetition, hoping to work outna different outcome and outride your feelings that were going on at that time? Yes talking about it and putting another slant on it is the way through I feel.
  #4  
Old Jun 05, 2010, 09:23 AM
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Perna Perna is offline
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I would talk to T about it and see if she would be willing to watch it with you and discuss it.
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  #5  
Old Jun 05, 2010, 09:28 AM
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seventyeight seventyeight is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2010
Posts: 654
hi lily, yes, definitely share that with her. i'm sure she'd be willing to watch it as it might help you a great deal. i don't think it's that different than listening to you tell her about an abusive event from your past, it's just a different form of communication. either way, i think therapist are trained to handle all this kind of stuff. but i think i'd ask first, just out of respect. it might be something that you both have to "prepare" for.
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