[sugahorse1]

Well, after I'd been dx'd with Major Depressive Episode with psychosis in Feb 2009 and also met with a psychologist a few times (Which I ended in June 2009); I then started seeing a new pdoc in Feb 2010.
Her sessions were a lot more indepth and about 1 hour long, so it was more than just a discussion around meds.
I then wasn't sure if I was entirely comfortable with her approach to things. She thinks there's a good chance I do suffer from BP 2.

I then got a bee in my bonnet and decided to e-mail some pdocs and T's I could find on the internet in my area (This was last Friday, 4 June 2010). One psychologist has gotten back to me, and she has some psychiatrists she works with.
Now I'm thinking of going to see her - not quite sure why??
When my depression gets bad, I can get suicidal, and so far I just haven't felt an inkling that my pdoc is genuinely concerned. She hasn't changed my meds much.
I'm worried I just want to see a T for either (or both) of these reasons:
1) to feel like someone out there loves and cares for me.
2) for someone I can phone during my deepest depression, and who hopefully knows me well enough when to react, and if need be, be the go-between for me and my pdoc (Whoever that may be)

Then I read up about BPD this AM, and can really relate. Now I'm not sure if I possibly suffer from both BP and BPD, or one or the other, both which could probably benefit from therapy.
Not sure if I should have one doctor to "talk to" and prescribe meds, or have 2 separate ones.
I am also slightly concerned about the costs, as I will be paying this out my own pocket.

I'm just one confused chick right now!!!

[Perna]

I think just about everyone suffers from BPD traits (but isn't diagnosed with BPD). Usually one does psychiatrists for meds; nowadays most don't seem to get much training as therapists. I'd go see your psychologist for a few times, see if you benefit from talking to her; they're usually a bit less expensive than the psychiatrists and trained for talk therapy but can't prescribe meds. Even if you only get a bit less confused about where you "are" and want to get to, that would be a big help I'd imagine?

[sugahorse1]

right now my whole seems a blur - it would be irresponsible to make any decisions or justify anything right now

With bipolar disorder, you need to have a pdoc to manage medication. Very rarely do they do "therapy", so you will want to find a therapist also. As far as the BPD goes, try not to self-diagnose on the internet. Let the experts decide what you are dealing with.

[sugahorse1]

Thanks Farmergirl - I do see a pdoc for meds. I just don't think i like her...?!?