[Indie'sOK]

Yesterday in session my T mentioned something about a conference she went to in Texas last week. She said she went to a seminar where a woman from the Center for Missing and Exploited Children was giving a talk about her job and different career options available at the Center. My T then was saying how she would find it very interesting to have a career like that and if she weren't at the job she's at now, she'd go down to Dallas and work there.

So this leads me to ask the question, has anyone ever worried that their T only stays at their job for the benefit of their clients? Do you worry that T is unhappy at their job and wants to leave, but can't because they've got clients to work with?

I don't want T to dislike her job and dream of going to work somewhere else...I want her to enjoy working with me and her other clients. I'm afraid to tell her what I'm writing in this thread.

I don't know if this makes sense...can anyone relate?

[Verbascum]

Your T tells you all those things ?
Mine would never ever ever tell me such a thing. So that saves me the worry!

About the question: are you worried about your T being unhappy in her job, or about your T (possibly) leaving her job (and you)?

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by Verbascum

Your T tells you all those things ?
Mine would never ever ever tell me such a thing. So that saves me the worry!

Yes she does tell me a lot, but we get on very well so sometimes we'll just chat and it's like we're friends. I don't mind it, except in situations like this when it causes me to worry about her.

Originally Posted by Verbascum

About the question: are you worried about your T being unhappy in her job, or about your T (possibly) leaving her job (and you)?

Both I guess. I'm going to HAVE to ask her about this because it has gotten me worried.

[WePow]

My T told me once that he would only quit his "job" if he won the lottery. Then he changed it and said he actually would just buy out the place they are renting (so he could manage his own space) and he would keep doing what he is doing. :-) I liked that answer a whole lot !!

[Verbascum]

Originally Posted by Indie'sOK

we get on very well so sometimes we'll just chat and it's like we're friends.

Wish I could have that with my T...

On the other hand: her telling this shows she's very much at ease with you, so she must like her job I guess... Maybe what she said about the other job was more like a daydream, like we all have, you know, "it would be great to work/live there or there...". It often doesn't really mean anything.

[googley]

I don't worry about this because I know that being a T can be a stressful job at times. I know that if a T did not enjoy their job and take care of themselves they would quickly burn out. If my T was burnt out then I might worry about him/her being unhappy in their job.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by Indie'sOK

has anyone ever worried that their T only stays at their job for the benefit of their clients? Do you worry that T is unhappy at their job and wants to leave, but can't because they've got clients to work with?

Working with people in this way is T's passion (she even used that word), and it shows. So no, not for a miniute .......although it woudln't surprise me if I were NOT her fave rave client ..............

[Indie'sOK]

Thanks for your input everyone I know I shouldn't worry about this, it's silly. I guess it's just my deeper feelings/fear showing up..."what if she doesn't like me?", "what if she DOES leave?"...saying things like that. The logical side of me knows that she wouldn't leave, at least not any time soon.

[Perna]

I think your T might have meant they liked their job the best and only if they didn't have their current job would they choose the other, not that they were only staying in their current job because they didn't want to let down their clients. The other would be their second choice.

I think if my T shared what she did I'd talk to her about what you are thinking, that she might not be happy in her job and about the many viewpoints that can be taken from the same words and how we often get things wrong/backwards/"differently" :-) than what other people mean.

My mother died when I was very young and was sick from before I was born and when she was finally operated on when I was 2 and they told her and my father that she was dying, my father told my aunt, "If we had known that, we wouldn't have had Perna."

Well, I figured out how to view that in a way that makes me feel good: I can see his saying, in effect, "Geez, good thing we didn't know that or we wouldn't have had Perna and life wouldn't have been as sweet!"

My T likes his job a ridiculous amount. He will actually announce occasionally "I LOVE this job". lol

It makes me feel bad for H, who HATES his job. It would be so awesome if everyone could love their jobs the way T does. It must make life a lot less stressful.

My T is SUPER careful about self-care...exercising, connecting with friends and family, being involved in other organizations that he is passionate about, taking (LOTS OF) breaks, going to see his own therapist...and my guess is that helps a lot. It's also his second career, so it's something he chose after being in the world doing other sorts of jobs. That probably helps too.

Indie, if you are worried, can you ask your T about it? I ask my T about pretty much anything and everything that I'm worried about. It helps keep me from spiraling out (too much!)

[Indie'sOK]

Thanks perna and tree. Tree, that sounds great I'm glad your T likes his job so much - can I say I'm a bit jealous!

I probably will bring this up - I'm sure she is half-expecting that I will. She knows that I get to thinking about things too much and they bother me, so I doubt it will suprise her.

[looking4polaris]

If it's bothering you I would definitely mention it. It's funny though, my T is always mentioning how much he loves his job and I keep saying there have got to be some times, some days when you really just want to chuck it. A bad day when you just want to throw someone out on their ear or just chuck it all and go for a coffee and a long nap instead. He always says no, but I know there must be some times when it's not the "world's greatest job."

I've asked what T would do if he wasn't a T. That was a fun conversation. Turns out, though, we are all so fascinating, fun to help, and provide such rewarding experiences for our Ts that they are in no hurry to switch careers. I hear it's a dream job. Good thing it's not my job.

[peaches100]

Indie'sOK,

Yes, I worry that my therapist doesn't like her job and wants to leave. She told me about a year ago that she has a new supervisor and he is expecting alot more work from her, and longer hours. Shortly after that, she told me was beginning to "think" about retirement, but didn't have any plans. Yesterday, she made the comment, "I'd like to do more volunteer work but i can't as long as I'm working." She went on to tell me she'd like to work with Boys Club, Girls Club, or some such organization where she'd be working with children and it would involve having a relationship. Even though i thought it was so nice of her to want to do volunteer work, my stomach just lurched. I couldn't help thinking about how she's going to eventually retire and leave me behind, and go find other relationships to have with people who need it.

I mentioned to t that my pcp only works two days a week and t said " I would love to only work two days a week " .... so scared and worried about it I haven't been back since... I don't go weekly or even monthly but was going with more frequency due to recent issues, and now back to nothing.... what a mess!!!! our feelings versus their thoughts; not always a good thing

[koalabb123456]

I always worry about my therapist that are not happy or is sad. But i don't know how to ask her that. I care about her too much to see her unhappy.

[Amazonmom]

I once told my T that I thought being a T would be a very emotionally draining job. She said no, that it was a very fulfilling and satisfying job. But it takes good self care so that you can be present for your clients and still have some for yourself.

[Indie'sOK]

Thank you for all the feedback everyone