T hates me?

I called T and left a message making sure she wasn't still sick and that we were still on for tomorrow. When I called, her voicemail had changed to add that if you were having an emergency, you should dial 911. Her message did not used to say this! It must have changed after my last session with her!!!! I am so worried that I caused her to change her voicemail and I am FREAKING out about being her worst client ever, being the person who is causing her the most pain out of all her clients because I am so hopeless and desperate that she has to make sure she is not liable if I call her in an emergency. Oh my God I am the worst and scariest client ever.

THEN I went to check my T's husband's facebook like I sometimes do. And his privacy options changed! I can no longer see all his profile pictures! This means I can't see the picture of him and my T together anymore. I am also FREAKING OUT thinking that somehow they KNOW that I've been stalking him on facebook and obsessing over the pictures! Why did the privacy settings change? DID I MAKE THIS HAPPEN? AM I CRAZY? Does my T think I'm crazy? Does she know how obsessive I am? Does she know that I've been looking at these pictures?? PLEASE tell me she doesn't know! Do you think T hates me? Do you think she wishes I never stepped foot in her office? Oh my God. I AM SO SCARED TO SEE HER TOMORROW. I'm scared she's a LIAR and a FAKE and she just PRETENDS to like me when really she is afraid of me because I'm crazy. Oh my God, I feel sick.

My T has a message about using 911 or an Emergency Room in a crisis. That is because she rarely personally answers the phone. Waiting a long time for a reply isn't always possible in a crisis so she wants her clients to get immediate help if needed.

I bet your T just happened to have changed her message at that time. Most Ts have a message like that. I'm betting it wasn't because of you.

Lots of people restrict access in Facebook to friends only. I'm betting this wasn't about you.

I understand what you are feeling though, it's hard to get the idea that you are doing something wrong out of your head.

My T also has a message about calling 911, as does my psychiatrist. I think it is a liability issue--they need to tell you where to go for help in case they are unreachable in an emergency.

I would bet your T was doing a lot of administrative things in the office and changing the phone message was just something on the to-do list. It's not about you; if it were, your T would talk to you directly.

But she is leaving in two months! Why would she be doing administrative things like this now? I know most have this message, but what compelled her to add it this week?

So what is the problem if she changed it because of you? I should think it shows how much she cares; how she is concerned about your SI and worrying that she might not be available herself to help you when you call.

I would be flattered with the idea my T would be thinking of me even when I'm not paying her for it!

And about the facebook: seems like she has been into administration lately indeed. Seems very normal to me, when one is changing places, or quitting a job or whatever the reason might be that she is leaving. When she has a new job, it might even be a requirement for that job.

Wishing you a good session tomorrow!

My therapist's office have a on call service that client can call the clinic to talk to an on call clinician after hours.
The on call service automatically kick in after hour.
And the clinic also said in emergency call 911. My clinician's voice mail also say call 911 in case of emergency.

My T/pdoc also has the 911 thing on his message. Perhaps your T changed the message because she is trying to get all her clients (not just you) to start being aware of the other resources available as she will be gone soon and not available in an emergency.

As for the facebook, that is surely just a coincidence of timing. He could have changed the privacy settings for a zillion reasons...hiding from a crazy ex-girlfriend, an annoying old college buddy, that guy from 3rd grade who wants to sell him life-insurance, the other guy from 3rd grade who wants to borrow money. It is not because of you.

Breath in. Breath out. Repeat. Your T will be happy to see you tomorrow. Be happy to see your T and soak up some T love.

(((((jexa)))))
There has been a ton of publicity about Facebook privacy, he probably just finally used the option that lets him see the public version of his profile, realized that all their pics were showing and said "hmm, gotta change that".
And maybe your T just renewed her liability or malpractice insurance, where it states that she has to include that on her VM. Or she went to a best practices seminar. Or there is ANOTHER client, not you, who is calling all the time in crisis or actually tried, so she added that for the OTHER person.

Soon you can tell T all the ways that you got from Friday to Monday. Be sure to mention the cookies!!!

((((((Jexa)))))

T doesn't hate you. I agree that it is a coincidence that these things happened right now. Your T just wants to make sure everyone is safe. That includes you. But I doubt it is because of you. I also doubt the facebook change is because of you. They have no way of knowing that you were there. It may be that he just realized that he could control that and so made the change. It will be okay.

Hi Jexa,
Once you go to gradschool you will be REQUIRED to do research and find things out. People will love you for it if you do it well. No one will hate you for it. So, if finding things out is what makes you tick, find out more! It is a strength rather than a weakness.
The question is, what do you really want to know? What are you looking for when you look at that facebook page...? Is that really what you are looking for?

Jexa, that is why I saved the pic of my T from facebook onto my PC :-) Seriously, I did. I want to see him sometimes and it helps me to ground. But facebook did have a big security update push. I have even changed my options so that people who are my friends can't even see who my other friends are. I know my mom doesn't like this at all.

And the phone msg is really what it should have been the whole time. My T's message sounds the same. I think it is an industry thing to protect themselves against liability if someone doesn't go to hospital and they hurt themselves. So your T is really just late to the party on that one. I am sure it isn't about you.

But boy do I understand how it can feel that way! A few weeks ago my T told me that he was no longer going to accept insurance starting next year. He said he was going to tell the rest of the clients about his decision in October. He had some issues with mine this year and we had that semi-rupture over it. Then he tells me in session about no insurance next year and I was dumb enough to say like a little kid "What about me?" -- HE SMILED almost like laughing! In my mind memory of the event, his face looked like batman's joker!!!!

I know you can guess I felt that I was the one to blame for my T no longer accepting insurance!!! Well, I decided that it was too much a burden to carry and asked him about it. UGGG!!! He was honest and told me that my situation was one of the reasons he did make the change, but that it was not the ONLY reason. He told me about several other things going on that all dealt with the insurance side. So all the pieces put together made him choose to go to a cash-only insurance option. I still felt kinda bad, but not like I did before.

Maybe you can talk it over with T?

Woah, thanks all for the support. I went back and read this today and I was like, oh brother, that was a little excessive there. Haha. Yeah well today I'm in the "I don't give a f***" mode anyway, so I don't even know why I cared about this at all last night. Anxiety and depression are weird.

is my t the only one who doesn't have the 911 message, he has an answering service so maybe they tell you to call 911 in case of a crisis IDK????

Jexa, glad you are feeling better; safe hugs

How did your session go with your T today, Jexa?