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#1
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Recently posted on another thread >>> I doubt [the previous client's jovial] attitude after session has much to do with why she's going to therapy, unless it's to have someone to talk with, but I doubt any self-respecting T would do that
really would they not? Darn! After this therapy is "done", whenever that might be, I was sort of making plans in the back of my mind that in future, I might arrange to keep a T at hand on a permanent basis, just to have Someone On My Side, a wise counsel I could draw on when needed, you might say. The ultra rich do; why not me? Do you think that a T would not take someone who didn't have a specific goal to work toward and then terminate? |
#2
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hmmm....you know to be honest, I think everyone has a goal to work toward. Even the most together people have little things they'd like to change about themselves. I don't see why a T wouldn't remain a "sounding board" at a later date....probably not weekly, but maybe monthly??? Would insurance fork up the dough if there wasn't a dx though??
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never mind... |
#3
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SAWE, lots of T's are fine with being a sounding board for a while, if you're getting something out of it, but some won't be comfortable billing your insurance if you are no longer struggling emotionally/behaviorally. And some will encourage you to stop "using" therapy -- for some people, going to therapy and not trying things on their own can keep them stuck. So I think there are different reasons why a T might want to try to "kick you out" if things are all better. But I don't think a T will try to make you leave before you are feeling ready to deal with it. If you aren't ready, I think that can be a problem to talk about in T, too.
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He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. |
#4
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I'm trying to read between the lines on this one SAWE. I sense that you were triggered by this?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
#5
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T's aren't in it for the money; most don't make that much, actually. The insurance companies don't pay what they charge and, if they're on their own and don't take insurance, they have to pay rent/mortgage on an office, which is just as expensive as a home with phone systems and sometimes a secretary/bookkeeper, etc. It's a small business and I don't know anyone who gets that wealthy with a really small business like that. They have to pay taxes on that too, remember.
But T's are there to do therapy; anything less is like saying a lawyer wouldn't mind just sitting in a law office or a doctor, in a doctor's office, etc. without doing any legal work/medicine. The reason they became T's was the T-work! They're not high-priced friends/buddies/gurus. If you want that, buy a "coach" http://www.lifecoach.com/
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
#6
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Quote:
I know that my own T has a few people, former clients, who just come in once or twice a year to touch base with her. And I also have seen her at times when I wasn't OK to do therapy, and she changed her tone to accommodate my needs. I think that the sort of thing you are suggesting is totally reasonable. |
![]() sittingatwatersedge
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#7
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Quote:
BTW, no question of insurance coming into this, just private $$. I was envisioning a now and then thing, when a question or a need might arise and I coudl use some help; not regular visits, or frequent ones necessarily. It just seems that the Ts as a whole are very together, wise people and it would be great to have that resource to draw on when needed, even if not in a regularly structured arrangement. |
![]() Sannah
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#8
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Sitting, whats it matter what someone elses therapy does or doesnt do? I've come out of therapy making light sometimes, but believe me thats just to prepare myself to cope on the "outside" between sessions after an extra intense session.
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#9
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Thanks Fartraveler!
A wide range of replies here but at least it seems I'm not all that far out. My T is >70 now, so by the time THIS messed up client is "done", she may break her custom and not say, feel free to come back any time if you want to. Guess we will see. In the meantime I will be working hard. ![]() |
#10
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Quote:
About the woman who is jovial when leaving therapy--good for her! Sometimes I feel really good after therapy, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, and it doesn't mean we just sat around chewing the fat. Plus, sometimes when I do think we are sitting around "just" talking, my T has another name for it, such as we were building the relationship or doing ego work, etc. SAWE, I do think you could find a therapist who would provide what you may be looking for one day.
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"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
#11
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Ha, I love the idea that the ultra-rich have a therapist on standby ;-)
Or, perhaps it's New Yorkers that all have an analyst? I'd say my current goal is something like this: I want to be happy - and I'm not always happy. I want to have great relationships with the people I love, and I know that's not how it is going in all cases. I'd sure like to have a better relationship with my mom, and I know the years for that are getting shorter. I'd like to not be anxious about dying too young. Nothing you can really stick a DSM tag on, but still there is stuff to do. IMHO, I have a lifetime of therapy work ahead of me. You will want a therapist who is willing to let you decide when you are "done"? Mine told me I'll know when it's time, I'll feel like I have nothing to say! |
#12
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i don't go to t on a regular basis, when actively dealing with CSA and PTSD and such i did go weekly, sometimes twice a week
that was years ago. i now go only when i need too, sometimes once a week for a month, then not at all for seven or eight months, then maybe once or twice or maybe again six or eight sessions. No problems billing ins that i have ever heard of... t says, just come back when you feel like it. i have depression so maybe that is why, mostly i think it just depends on the t and their rules |
#13
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I am reading "Staring at the Sun" by Irvin Yalom, a psychotherapist. In it, he talks of a person who was his patient for 30 years. I like that!
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#14
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I have been with my therapist for19 years; I like that!
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