So, I met another new T this week, and she seems like she could be a good fit. She seemed really safe and yet really smart, like she will challenge me, which is good. She made some important insights straight away, yet, she didn't push me at all, which was a relief. She just named a couple things that were very subtle, if that makes sense.

Most importantly, she said she wants to take things really slowly and help me feel more adjusted to the move and get my nervous system calmed down from all the moving stress before we tackle any trauma.

Also, she didn't presume that I felt comfortable with her. At the end of the session, she asked how I was feeling and if I wanted to see her again. I said I did.

She also asked if I want her to talk to my old T, and I said I'm not sure. The idea makes me nervous (what would old T say about me?), but new T said it can be healing to feel like you have a committee of support and everyone knows each other--so it can be helpful just for the two of them to "meet" over the phone and bridge that connection between my old city and new city.

What do you guys think of that? Have you had the experience of a new T calling an old T? Was it helpful?

[jexa]

Yay griffin! So glad you found a good T! She sounds great -- I really like that she wants to talk to your oldT on the phone, to me that shows that she wants to go above and beyond and she really cares.

It's really weird to call her my old T, but.. my old T called my new T before I started with her at all. I had to sign a release so my old T could tell her things about me. I thought it was very helpful actually, even though it was very anxiety-provoking. You can tell your old T what you are and aren't comfortable with her sharing. My old T asked me what I was and wasn't okay with her sharing, and it helped a lot that she asked that question and made me feel safe. I think it's okay for you to ask her to limit some things if it's going to change your comfort level with your new T.

Jexa, did your T tell you what the conversation between them was like?

I'm not even sure what I'm afraid of...maybe it's a fear that old T thinks I'm crazy and too needy and never told me so, but will tell new T. That's totally irrational, I know.

More realistically, I don't want old T revealing too much of my story. I'd like it to unfold naturally in sessions with new T as it seems relevant.

And wouldn't it be nice if old T said something like "griffin was my favorite client of all time. You are SO lucky to have her. Take good care of her for me..."

[Dr.Muffin]

ive had clients tell me that the transition feels less jarring if ive spoken to their previous therapist because i have a baseline of information and i know some pertinent names already and they dont feel the anxiety of having to tell their whole story all over again.

ive personally never had another therapist badmouth a client to me, for what its worth. even when their therapeutic relationship was ruptured, the therapist has never come across as hostile or angry.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by griffinp

More realistically, I don't want old T revealing too much of my story. I'd like it to unfold naturally in sessions with new T as it seems relevant.

I can understand that and think I would feel the same way. I don't think I would allow the Ts to talk to each other about me. If the new T wants to know specific information, he could just ask me and I'll tell him. I would want to be able to trust that the new T is experienced and skilled enough to be able to form his own opinions about me without help from a previous provider. He might get preconceptions that I don't want him to have if he spoke to a previous T. I would want him to come to his own conclusions and not be biased. I have had 2 Ts. My current one and the one before came to completely different conclusions about what my problem was. I tend to think current T's assessment was the most helpful to me. I am glad he didn't talk with T #1 and get her spin, which was not that helpful to me. Maybe he would have skipped his own assessment if she told him what she thought my problem was. And my current T never asked to speak to my previous T. He had confidence in his own abilities and after one session, so did I. Somewhere in the middle of my current T, I also went to see a family therapist with my daughter, and a PNP. The family therapist did not ask to talk to either my or my daughter's individual Ts. My PNP did not ask to talk to my T. They were all just able to do their job without input from other providers.

Another reason I would not want to have communication between old and new Ts is because I think there is some joy in the unfolding of a new relationship with a T. And I want that to start from scratch. I don't want to skip that building the relationship from the ground up part--the "discovery phase." It's great to just get to know the new T and for him/her to get to know you. I would feel a little shortchanged to skip that by having someone besides myself give T information on me.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Griffin, this lady sounds really positive, I hope things settle down for you very soon.

about having a new T call old T... a comment from old T "SAWE was my favorite client of all time" I would probably translate as "boy what job security, if she hadn't moved I would have had work for life" but that's just my good ole cognitive distortions kicking in...

seriously Griffin I imagine that I would spend some time in each of first few new T sessions asking why she'd want to do that, is this topic we are discussing something for example you'd like to ask old T about and if so what... I guess I tend to want to know things, maybe others are not like that in their therapy but I can't help it. I just would have tons of questions before I could say, yes OK to call ...otherwise I know I'd say, I'd prefer not.

[darkrunner]

Griffin,
She sounds wonderful! I'm really happy it was a positive experience. It sounds like she said all the right things.

I would definitly be ok with an old T calling a new T. I've had a lot of different Ts talk to each other (going from treatment to treatment). I guess I just trust they will be professional. Maybe I'm too trusting though, I don't know.

Keep us posted!!

[jexa]

Griffin, yep, my T told me what the conversation was like! There are some weird laws about professional conversations being protected by law, etc, but she was able to tell me the gist of what they talked about, how long they talked, what she disclosed about me and my history, etc. Also she told me what she thought about the new T. It helped a LOT to hear from my old T that she liked the T I would see next. She gave me reasons why she liked her, too. All of it was just such a relief to me, and it was also a relief to me to have everything "out on the table."

If you don't want your old T to tell your new T about your trauma history, you can ask her not to disclose that. It's alright, griffin, to want that to happen slowly as you begin to trust your new T.