[Melbadaze]

Well today is the day of session, I know I am going to begin immediately on asking her why she replied like she did. Oh dear I think this is going to be another "beam me up scotty" day, hang onto reality for this short while this morning, before the s**t hits the fan!!!

*Theme tune to starwars fades in*

[ECHOES]

Good luck today. Let us know how it goes.

[sittingatwatersedge]

hang in there, Melbadaze, your posts show you are doing such great (and hard) work.

[WePow]

Hope today allows you to have more of those amazing insights you are known for posting! Good luck!

[WikidPissah]

Hang on Melba....you are going to be ok. I just know it!!

[Melbadaze]

I asked and T said, I'm sorry I said that, she said that she was defensive because that is something people say to her often, but that it wasn't "wasted" as it brought something up and we made a road through it.

I asked her what it is that happens when this happens to me? She said I loose touch with outside reality and go inside to all the internalised feelings, and it feels as if its happening on the outside and I loose the "as if" she is my mother and she becomes my mother. I asked how long will this happen etc and she explained that for my history and abuse its not abnormal what I do, she said each time it happens it changes its not static and this time felt deeper, but we survived it.

[rainbow8]

It sounds good to me, but just wondering how you feel now after that session.

[mixedup_emotions]

I'm glad you saw T and are working through this....

[Melbadaze]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

It sounds good to me, but just wondering how you feel now after that session.

I feel I've regained "good" T again, that nothing was as bad as it felt and I am sorta pleased T apologised and explained, but I do feel a bit like a "bully" for having gone of like I did, I felt I wanted to hug her when she explained, but for myself I stil have some anxietys left over, still feel I need just a little more reasurance that everythings ok. But can do that in Mondays session.