not sure what to do

so I'm having a slight dilemma...
it's been 2 1/2 weeks since I saw my T and another week ans a half till I see her. there is some debate as to whether I'm bipolar which is originally why I saw her so I could see a pdoc. then we got into other things and now I don't quite know what to talk about and kind of just wanna quit altogether and go off the meds as well and see what happens. but i'm not in a place where I could handle if something went wrong. I'm also in AA and talk to my sponsor monday through friday so maybe I'm just talked out. I just need to not see her for a while and then go back but in order to keep my case open at this place I have to see her once a month...if I dont I cant see my pdoc there hence why i want to get off the meds. sorry just rambling...hoping to find my answer but havent come up with one yet. any suggestions??

What are you feeling that is making you want to go off your meds and give up your T?
That they aren't helpful? That you wish for something else, something more, that meds and therapy aren't helping in a way you expected...

It's okay to go to therapy and not know what to talk about. Even after several years of therapy, it still happens to me. She's there to help you with that. After this happening several times, you will be able to trust her help with this anxiety provoking situation. Then it becomes relieving that you don't know what to talk about, yet you know it's okay to go anyway and see what comes up.

feelings? I am just plain tired of therapy and figuring out what to talk about. she is not very helpful in figuring out a direction to take. wouldnt mind staying on meds but if i dont see t once a month cant see pdoc and dont want to make a switch right now either. cant figure out where the real problem is...maybe it is just me...idk. dont think i will ever be completely happy with me or be able to accept me for me. hmmm...now theres a thought. well...guess i will talk to t about going off meds and then stopping therapy...dont know what else to do.

You could talk about your feeling tired of therapy and that she doesn't direct you. And yes, about thinking that you will never be happy with you or will be able to accept yourself. Very important stuff!

Do you like to write? Maybe you can spend the next week and a half writing little notes about things in your life you would like to see change or get better? Then you can mention a few when you see her.

Has the medication helped at all?

Congrats on the work in AA! That's great. Definitely give yourself a pat on the back for that one. Those are some hard yards. Good for you.

I say it's your recovery. You've got some time to decide.

If it were me, I would likely hang around for the pdoc though and see if he/she can help with some meds to make things better.

It maybe worth a shot, even if the therapy isn't doing much for you.

Congrats on sticking with AA. My mom has been in it for the last 18 years, she just celebrated her sobriety anniversary with her group last month. I trust everything else will work out for you in time. Way to go

So you want to quit meds because you don't want to go to therapy anymore? That doesn't seem like a good reason, at least by itself, to quit meds. If you want to quit meds, can you look first at whether they are helping you or not? If they are not helping you, then you could talk with your pdoc and see what he/she says. If your meds are indeed helping, then you could look for a way to make therapy more tolerable, so you can continue with the pdoc. Maybe that would mean a different T that you like better. Or maybe it would mean being very goal-directed in therapy for your once a month meeting: "I am feeling somewhat depressed this week, what do you suggest doing to help with my symptoms?" You could keep it kind of on the surface and very symptoms-focused, and maybe that would make it easier to get through that monthly visit.

I want to add my congrats on your diligence with AA. Keep going!