What do you call your therapist?

first name. Never thought about anything else. I think at first we used first and last names when leaving phone messages for each other, but now we don't even do that. If I call her and she answers, I know she knows it's me, so I just say hi. Same thing when she calls me. I do identify myself by my first name when I leave her a message, because I envision her listening to a string of voicemails from clients in various stages of distress and I imagine a lot of us sound alike when we are upset.

About the name thing though...this intrigues me, because I do NOT like hearing my name, at all. Just in life, I mean, not only in therapy. I also tend to not like to call people by their names, or anything. I will just talk to them. For example, in 20 years of marriage I may have referred to my ex MIL as "June" twice. Never as mom. Usually as nothing at all.

I just really wonder, what is it about names that makes me so uncomfortable? It is very, very strange, and I have always thought it was just me. I'm glad to know I'm not alone, although I have no idea what it is rooted in.

Chuckling, as I have had the same thought!

I was thinking about this name thing...I wonder if not liking to hear my own name comes from childhood, when it was yelled or said in other ways that were scary? I don't know. I LIKE my name, I just don't like to hear it. Or say it. I hate it when I have to leave a name when I order pizza or anything. I am used to it, so I do it, but it makes me feel a little yukky every time.

My current therapist identifies himself as Dr. x so that's what I call him. My psychiatrist calls me Mrs. Little and I call him Dr x. A few therapists ago I called him by his first name. I try to go by what they want to be called.

This thread is fascinating to me because I thought I was the only one with this problem. That's what I love about the internet; we can learn that we're not alone no matter what our problem is.

First, about T. I've called all my Ts by their first names except for one who was a psychiatrist, but I saw her for therapy, not meds. I called her Dr.

I don't like being called my name, but my nickname is only for close friends and family. I think I let my first T call me by my nickname.

I never used to call my mother anything, and I couldn't call my H his name. All my Ts tried to help me use my H's name; finally I just did it and now I can, usually. I know it's something to do with intimacy.

interesting, rainbow! I also rarely use my mom's name. I really never say it, even when she was in my life. I would call her Mom, but only if I had to. I have rarely said her actual first name.

This is very intriguing; I've never heard anyone say they didn't like hearing their own name. Do you mind if I call you Bono instead?

Have you ever brought this up with your T? Could be interesting...

I do notice that if I meet someone somewhere, like sitting and talking with someone on an airplane for a long time, I will not ask them their name when it's time to go.

I call my T by her first name. The other day I heard another client call her Dr X, and it felt really weird. It never occurred to me to call her Dr- it feels far too formal and medicalised, and I'm surrounded by people with PhDs (e.g. my partner, my friends, I'm doing one) who I'd never think to call 'Dr'.

I never refer to her as 'my T' except in here- the few real life people who know I'm in therapy know her name. She and I sometimes refer to her as 'my [firstname]'- e.g. 'I can't be your mother but I can be your [firstname]'- which feels like a good way to recognise that this is special and important but doesn't fit any of the traditional labelled relationships (mother/lover/friend).

Actually, I feel uncomfortable even thinking about her surname because it reminds me that she has a whole other name (she seems to use her husband's surname in her personal life) and a whole other life and it makes me worry that I don't really know 'who she is' (and then how do I know if I can trust her etc). I also went through a phase of feeling anxious about her first name, after my partner told me that in the country my T is from, she wouldn't have been baptised with that first name. I think I felt that we know so little about our Ts and if they've made up their names, we really know nothing about them, and it felt like quite an untrustworthy thing to do. I asked (or accused her, more like!) one day and she said it was a nickname but she'd only ever been called that by everyone.

There is something very powerful about naming someone and being named. Perhaps because it's the way we are first 'claimed' by our parents? I feel no connection to my name; my partner never uses it and people who know me even a little shorten it when they do use it. My T uses my name a lot- in nearly every text message she writes, and I found it very uncomfortable and hard to hear at first (as if I was in trouble?), but now I love it. I sometimes feel that my name only came to life- became real to me- when she began to call me by it. It feels 'right' when she says it.

Rainbow8 I was so relieved to hear you talking about your mom. From the time I started talking until 4th grade I called my mother by her fitrst name. It bugged her second husband and he insisted it stop... So I started calling her mom after a $50 bribe! Once he was gone so was the mom... back to her first name. The only time I call her mom is when I am pissed because I need a motherly response from her and she isn't giving it!

Zooropa--I hate hearing my name too--jolts me, physically stiff. When my T uses it, especially in an email, I instantly feel like I am in trouble. And I usually am--like when he tells me that I'm doing the same thing I've done 20 times for a month. Maybe once or twice he's used it when I wasn't in trouble?, but who really remembers that! My name isn't a soft one, isn't one that you can coo, and if you draw out the vowel sounds it's more like a screech.

that made me laugh out loud, thanks! We are kindred spirits, both having user names that are also titles of U2 songs.

And no, I haven't talked about this with my T. I didn't even really realize it was a thing until this conversation happened here on PC.

I call my therapist by her first name. For a while, I also called her by her first and middle name. I know-it's odd. I wanted to be the only one to call her by that name. Then I stopped calling her by both names because I felt silly.

Whenever she calls me, she says "Hi this first name last name." I always mockingly respond, "Hi First name Last name." Then she laughs at herself.

I'm the same way when t says my name. It kind of makes a twinge in my gut or something. Same thing happens when I say t's name to her. It's got to be that intimacy thing. T told me to call her by her nickname.

my first therapist (a 60-something year old, german psychiatrist) i always called Dr. B....it just seemed appropriate. my second therapist...oddly, i dont recall ever addressing her. when i called the office or referred to her when speaking to someone else, it was Dr. <last name>

all my clients call me by my first name. i work in a residential setting though...its already much less formal. it would feel weird for them to call me Dr. some of them dont even know that i'm a doctor...a few weeks ago when some found out, they started calling me Dr. Awesome LOL

i can totally understand that....it never bothered me when my therapists used my name in session. but its really a bit unnerving when my clients do it! i have a new one recently and he says my name several times during our conversations....each time, its jarring. im not sure why!

What would be really funny is if they called you "Dr. MUFFIN"

My T said "Earth calling to David" once when I was in ADHD hyperdrive once. That was pretty funny.

I like when my T calls me by name. It happens very rarely, but I like hearing it. It makes me feel close to him. He knows my name. He sees me! He knows me!

After I had been seeing T for about 9 months it somehow came up in session that he didn't know my last name. (He did know my first name.) I already felt really close to him so it was strange he didn't even know my name. I don't think my T keeps notes or records so I guess it isn't surprising. I was probably the only client he had with my first name, so there was no need to know my last name. He just writes me in as "sunny" on his calendar.

Yes agree far i just dnt say anything at all. First or last name

one of my closest friends calls me dr. muffin...it makes me giggle every time!

Bono was certainly in a smoldering phase when that photo in your avatar was taken. Just sayin'

Thanks for everyone's responses, this is really interesting

Reminds me of that Betty White sketch on Saturday Night Live.

My dad and all his brothers called their father by his first name, not "Dad". They all grew up from the 1940's - 1960's, and none of them know how or why it started.

I see what you mean. I just like to show proper respect, that's all.