[granite1]

my T asked me if i ever went to colledge.i answered yes.she asked what field i took up.i told her clinical lab sience(a Lab tec)i now work in a grocery store.so she said i see you are working way under your potential.i dont know why but i didnt like that comment at all.i dont think it is all that bad to work in a grocery store.i have a lot of dificulties with that at times.just makes me wonder what she thinks of me

[WikidPissah]

(((granite))) I'm sure it was simply a stupid T observation. Sometimes they just say crap like that. You are doing very well to be working!!! There is nothing wrong with working at a grocery store, nothing at all.

That comment would really bother me as well.

[Brightheart]

I work at a convenience store and am proud of it. I don't think what is meaningful is what you do, but how you do it. I imagine even therapists say the wrong things sometimes. I can understand your feeling upset about this! Maybe in your next session you can bring this up with her and express your feelings. Might be helpful.

It doesn't sound like she meant it as a put down, just an observation of the reality for you.

[Melbadaze]

I think a lot of people with issues do work under thair potential....why does that feel uncomfortable? i work ina grocery store toonow after loosing 3 good jobs due to my alcoholism yrs back..

[venusss]

Originally Posted by farmergirl

It doesn't sound like she meant it as a put down, just an observation of the reality for you.

this. And the fact that you are posting here may mean she made a valid point. Do you feel happy where you are? Or would you want to move up? Maybe she can help you to pursue some higher aims...

[rainbow8]

I wouldn't feel insulted, but hurt because I have always been "over qualified" for any job I had. I have a Master's degree and always got paid as a clerk. It bothers me that I couldn't work up to my "potential". So, for me, if my T said that, it would be triggering because I wish I could have had better jobs and gotten paid what I "should" have. But that doesn't mean I didn't like my jobs. I have trouble with numbers so I admire anyone for working in a grocery store! I don't think I could handle it.

granite, I think T was stating a fact and wondered how you felt about it. She wasn't being insulting, just curious as to your job choice.

[mixedup_emotions]

This kind of statement stirs up some different feelings in me....I would feel embarrassed, thinking that my T feels that I'm not striving hard enough...but then I'd also feel complimented, that my T feels that I am worthy/smarter/deserving of better. Since I know my T has good intentions and is working towards helping me, I'd lean more towards the latter...

[Sannah]

One of the therapist's roles is to reflect reality back to you. She and everyone here can understand how this might have happened to you. She nor any of us would look down on you for this either. It is a fact, however. I'm glad that you talked !!

[Yesterdays]

Honestly, and I know this sounds weird, but I would take that as a compliment. It's like someone saying "you can do so much better than you are right now." To me that would make me feel better about myself, because right now I'm not doing well at all. Your therapist sounds very realistic, and chances are she was just stating what she thought was the reality of the situation. I wouldn't take it too personally.

[with or without you]

granite, your post immediately reminded me of something a former psychiatrist said to me a long time ago. I did not see him for therapy, only medication management (was seeing my current T for therapy). He said during my 2nd or 3rd appointment that he had a neighbor who had the same first and last name as me, and she happened to be a pharmaceutical salesman. I said, "Oh really? That's interesting". He replied with something like "if you were that [same name] you would be very wealthy!" I wasn't sure how to take that. 20 year-old with or without you was pretty offended, like he was making rash assumptions about my socio-economic status. But now, current 29 y.o. wowy can assume that he only meant who I would be if I were "that" woman and not "this" person...like he was making a factual observation, a curious non-sequitur if you will.

Sounds like your T chose her words poorly, but she probably meant it as a compliment.

I had a similar experience in high school. The guidance counselors office pulled me out of class one day to have a meeting about my grades. They sat me down at the table. On one side of the table sat 2 counselors and the principal. I was told to sit in the chair across from them. Talk about intimidating! They layed out my transcript along side my standardized test scores (I'm not sure what they were called back then). They proceded to tell me that I was an underachiever. They explained how I was not performing up to my potential because my test scores were much higher than my grades reflected. I was a pretty well behaved student. That meeting was a turning point for me. I started to act on my inner urges. I started rebelling in many ways. I was angry for years. The way it was presented is why I ended up rebelling. People of authority were telling me I was failing myself. I felt like I was failing them too. It was too overwhelming to face.

I look back now I am able to break it down and retranslate it into "I was smart and was not applying myself. I had a lot of potential if I would have just put a little effort into things I could go far." What they didn't address was everything else that was going on in my life. I won't get into that now, but there was more going on than what their data showed.

Are you able to talk to your T about what she said? Maybe she can explain it in a better way so it can be a positive and motivating observation. The difference in your situation is you can talk about all the other stuff going on in your life with your T.