[onewhoneedsahug]

First delusional problem:
I always wanted and tried to please everyone (no one person was excluded from my list; all friends or family).
I was always helpful, always trustful, always giving of myself.
To love and care for myself, was equal to selfishness in my mind.

My putting everyone else first, was hoping for the return of earning their respect, winning their favor, and being rewarded by their love, and being appreciated for the importance of me being in their lives.

Reflection shows me that no one really had my back, instead they thought of me as 'their rock".
Stupid, stupid, and so much wasted living. I hope to live my remaining life in a totally different and positive way. I just have to take a step and then another; this will take me a long time and I fear rejection from many friends and family for initiating the changes in myself.

[SpiritRunner]

to you and I wish you peace and happiness in your new manner of living!

[rainbow8]

It may be confusing to family and friends at first, but they will come to respect that you're taking care of yourself in this way. Also, it's not black or white. You can still care about other people and do good things for them, but not at the expense of not taking care of yourself.

[Melbadaze]

One, I was told that if those close to me really cared about me then they would grow along with me. Change is hard, definitely harder on those close to us because we have the benefit of therapy, they are sort of just blind and waiting for our cues. I've found my close relationships to become much more interesting as we change together, we become closer in a more agape fashioin, rather then a smoothing fashion.