husband made jokes about therapy.....

I've been going to therapy for about 1 year for PMDD and anxiety. My husband has never gone with me or has never even seen the office. A few months ago I was going to have him come to a session with me-we were fighting alot and my PMDD was really bad at that time, my mom suggested he go with me or we see someone else together. I decided at the time it would bring me more stress to go with him. He is very supportive with my PMDD issues, but we deal with our emotions in very different ways: I have a very emotional/sensative person-I wear my heart on my sleeve. 90% of choices I make in life I way the options by emotions and feelings. My husband is the exact opposite- he is a very logical person, and barely ever discusses an emotion, but when he gets angry that comes out very quickly and disappears as quickly;he also makes alot of jokes about stuff he's uncomfortable with. We clash alot but we also balance each other out. Things have gotten better since my PMDD treatment is starting to be effective. I fully admit I know my emotions get the best of me, especially during the PMDD episodes.
Anyways, yesterday I had a therapist session. My husband was going to wait in the waiting room for me because we had to go somewhere right after. (This was the first time he's ever stepped foot in the office.) As soon as we entered the building he started joking, I mean litteraly as soon as we stepped foot on the carpet. He started saying how he's 'going to were crazies are....maybe he should go in with me and see this quack of a doctor....blah blah blah.' I could not believe it; I ran into the bathroom and had to take a breather. I so annoyed and hurt b/c he knows the therapy has helped me and is supportive in me going.....he just opens his mouth and jokes when he's uncomfortable. I was so upset he made fun of it,....I didn't come out of the bathroom until he said he'd wait in the car; which he did. I was so annoyed. I talked to my therapist about it; and told asked my husband if he understands now why I don't want him at a session and why I was upset with him; he said yes but he never apoligized directly. Ugh!!!

Sounds like being there was a stressor for your husband and he was making jokes to overcome his anxiety. Then that increased your stress. Sorry that happened to you.

Sounds like you understand yourself and your husband pretty well. Sounds like it is his needs vs. your needs going on here.

Yes, I've gained more input since going to therapy on how different my husband and I deal with our emotions. I am proud of myself for walking away from his comments, not blowing up, and sticking up for myself.

Very good! We can't change the way people are. Only they can change themselves. He is doing this because he has a need to do it. He isn't doing it to make you feel bad.

Your husband's comments seem ignorant and obnoxious to me, rather than hurtful. They would not make me anxious or upset but rather angry. I would have asked him to go back to the car to wait on the first one, not waited for there to be more. It is plain bad behavior in an adult. I hope you are learning to be more assertive rather than having to run to the bathroom to take a breather; he's the one who needs the time out, like a child? It doesn't have anything to do with being emotional/logical and different styles. His behavior is not appropriate, period.

Ouch!.....

Since he had never stepped foot in there before, it sounds like he was nervous, maybe jealous and envious and this it how that comes out in him because he doesn't feel comfortable with his feelings or know how to talk about them.

His reaction reminds me of how some teenagers act when they are nervous about something. They don't understand it so they make a joke out of it. Pretty immature, but some adults fall on the immature side.

he actually made I think two comments in all before I left to go into the bathroom. I wasn't crying, I was hurt and angry. I totally believe he did it because he was nervous, he may not admit it ever, I think he feels admitting emotions (like saddness or hurt ) is a sign of weakness.....from how he interacts with his mother at times I can see how he as picked up this habit.

I think you have good insight into his behavior and the reasons behind it, especially how it might be part of a learned pattern from childhood, from his mother. I am glad that you seem to be able to deal with this with understanding and compassion, and so you can handle it calmly......
My husband will sometimes make sarcastic remarks (and he doesn't mean to be hurtful at all, doesn't always see that he is either, though of course it sure can be!), and I've tried to keep in my mind things I've learned about why he is what he is/says and does what he does and work on dealing with it calmly, responding rather than just reacting. Sometimes walking away is the best thing; sometimes just trying to say something in a calm way about how that comment hurt or asking why he said it helps, too.........responding in this way is something my T calls finding my voice (without sounding like a harpy!)

Yes I agree! One of the reasons why I love my husband is his sarcasim....but then there are times when comments like that aren't appropriate and really hurt people's feelings in the long run. He hates when I say I think you do this because of your mother.....

probably hates it because somewhere in him he might understand that it's true and you're right!

And we know all adults are well-adjusted and never make emotional mistakes, so that anything of this type is just "plain bad behavior".