Why do I take things so personal!!!

When you hurt their feelings you then say that you aren't going to talk about it anymore? And then you want them to just get over it?

Is this what you are doing to yourself right now too?


She said that you are stubborn and controlling?

This sounds ridiculous, but after my session today, I never want to go back! My therapist made a simple, innocent comment that "we need to end on time today." (We normally go for about an hour and half, but she needed to end in an hour)

This sent me into a tailspin. My thoughts were, "Okay, here it comes, first the sessions have to end on time, then the emails will be limited, then she is going to tell me she cannot work with me."

She could tell I completely shut down and made me tell her what was wrong. She asked, "Why did you take that as rejection? Why did you go straight to negative thoughts that therapy is going to end? Why did I think she didn't like me anymore? Did I stop to consider that there may be a reason for her comment?"

I don't know why and I did not want to talk about it. I told her I just wanted to leave. You know, they won't let you do that! I finally told her that I felt like I totally wasted that session. She did explain to me that she had another obligation this afternoon, and that it was only for today, that she wanted me to know she would have to end on time. She said she told me at the beginning because she didn't want me to be blind-sided at the end of the session when she told me we needed to end.

Even though I did not want to discuss this, she said this was important to follow through on. She said that I tend to this when I feel that I am being rejected. I shut down and close myself off to people. I felt like screaming, "WHATEVER!" But, she is right. I do this.

I finally pushed through my inhibitions and we talked about some things that she had given me to work on. The session went okay and I actually left there feeling that she wasn't trying to boot me out!

My homework assignment is figure out why I do this. Why do I take an innocent comment and turn it into such a personal attack or rejection?
Right now, I am back to I don't ever want to see her again! I know that is just plain ridiculous, but as of now, I feel that I am done with therapy.

My feelings are hurt, I feel rejected, I feel like a fool, stupid, etc... I told her that she had so much power in our sessions. She has the power to build me up, but also to tear me down. The power to help me, but also to destroy me.

I know I am carrying this to the extreme about her simple comment. Why? Why do I do this!