[ladyjrnlist]

Anyone else ever like your T one session and totally despise them the next? I can only assume it has to do with me and what we are working on at the time....

[SpiritRunner]

I think you are right.....sometimes what you are working on and the emotions it draws out of you can lead to feeling differently about T from one week to the next. I can't say that I've felt hate for my T.....but boy, I have definitely been unhappy or annoyed with her, upset with her words/actions, or gotten the feeling that she was more distant from me or I was more distant from her....or both. I've learned if one week feels bad, the next will probably feel better....not that it always makes it all so easy to cope with!

[Paige008]

I get that feeling often. I would agree that its more on what you're working on.

If you're having a light-hearted, more self building, session, it's easier to accept them and what they're saying to you.

However, if you're working on something more difficult, like self disclosure or trauma, you're sharing a part of yourself that normally you don't. That's scary and as a defensive, we get angry. It doesn't matter that the person we're angry at is trying to help us - it's more that there's someone who's trying to get in to our secrets, through our inner walls.

One thing I've noticed though is that things get easier and the lines between liking and hating start to come together in a healthy way.

[darkrunner]

Yes, I have felt this way. I even started a thread with exactly the same title a few months ago!!! It was the intensity of the love/hate feelings that really startled me, as well as the frequency with which i went back and forth between them.

I just looked up that old thread, and I think it was because of some of the stuff that we were working on. It has really settled down a lot since then, which I'm very glad about.
I hope it settles down for you too, and soon.

The only way to get through that is to "go through it" and just be honest about how you feel. I have actually told her that sometimes I hate her, sometimes I am really angry with her, and sometimes I leave and say, "I am never coming back to see this Quack!" She ignores that part and says something like, "That shows progress. You are expressing your emotions! This is a good thing."

Times like that I want to slap her! (I didn't really mean it) Yes, I have told her this, too! (in a nice way) It does not seem to phase her at all. That is the professional part I guess. They have seen this so much that they know and understand that we will go through all of these emotions. I am glad she doesn't say, "Well, if you feel that way, DON'T COME BACK!!"

[ECHOES]

My therapist often points out the push/pull. That we have a session, or a few sessions, that feels really good, and I feel at ease, can talk ('flow' as she calls it), our exploring creates many branches with lots of little offshoots.
Then, she isn't surprised when suddenly that's gone, and I'm ill at ease, very pulled back, have little ability to expand, no offshoots and lucky to even create branches. I get very frustrated and disappointed in me/her/therapy then, which makes everything worse.

It's taken a lot of time and repeated cycles, and many times of her pointing this pattern out to me, for me to even begin to get it. So, now I can see it coming like a runaway train, but I can't change it yet. Some day, though, I expect to be able to.

Originally Posted by ECHOES

My therapist often points out the push/pull. That we have a session, or a few sessions, that feels really good, and I feel at ease, can talk ('flow' as she calls it), our exploring creates many branches with lots of little offshoots.
Then, she isn't surprised when suddenly that's gone, and I'm ill at ease, very pulled back, have little ability to expand, no offshoots and lucky to even create branches. I get very frustrated and disappointed in me/her/therapy then, which makes everything worse.

It's taken a lot of time and repeated cycles, and many times of her pointing this pattern out to me, for me to even begin to get it. So, now I can see it coming like a runaway train, but I can't change it yet. Some day, though, I expect to be able to.

I think this is the cycle I'm in now. It's not a love/hate thing, but more of a push/pull reaction. Or, open/closed.

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by griffinp

I think this is the cycle I'm in now. It's not a love/hate thing, but more of a push/pull reaction. Or, open/closed.

yes, the push/pull, or open/closed.....I relate to this too. sort of like coming close/retreating, sometimes.