[MoAnamCara]

hi

am very panicky and confused and scared and sad today. ive never been told i couldnt call my t. i tried earlier but hung up on her voicemail. i think im overreacting but i cant calm myself. i dont know if i should call again or wait till tomorrow am for my apt or if im breaking protocols or what. i dont know what i expect from calling, i know i need to reach out to someone. i dont know what to do.

[cutebagaddict08]

I'm sorry you are going through this today....I understand what it is like to feel anxiety and scared....and like you don't know who to reach out to. Would you feel comfortable leaving a message for your T- maybe asking that they call you back today? (Have you tried journaling, I've started writing in a journal when I get scared or angery even and sometimes it helps me sort out my feelings a little bit. To me a journal is like a 'best friend' that keeps all of your secrets and let's you completely be yourself.)

[SpiritRunner]

Journaling is really helpful for me....sometimes, taking deep breaths helps settle me some, too. I think it would surely be OK for you to call your T, to leave a message that you are struggling and just need to reach out and get some reassurance.....
I'm sorry you are having a hard time right now.

Sorry you are feeling so bad. Could you write out a message that you could read out when you get T's voicemail? You could practise reading it out beforehand and it might help you not to panic and hang up.

[MoAnamCara]

i think i just need to get over myself, wise up, move on, deal better and be quiet.

thanks.

[Suratji]

Originally Posted by MoAnamCara

i think i just need to get over myself, wise up, move on, deal better and be quiet.

thanks.

Well, MoAnamCara - isn't that why we see a therapist - to resolve these issues? In my session yesterday I had expressed a similar thought and my T was very gentle in explaining that it is our human need to 'not be quiet'. We need to share and not feel bad about 'being into ourselves'. She asked me if I felt that when I listen to a friend's problem, do I think ' Gee, she should just get over herself."? No, I listen sympathetically and want to help. Likewise, we should give ourselves the same consideration that we would give another person. That was a huge, huge insight for me that the T brought forth. We will learn to 'deal better' when we work honestly with our T.

Also, I think it's absolutely appropriate to call your T. That is why they are there - to help us through any crisis we may be experiencing. Please don't deny yourself that help.

[MoAnamCara]

thank you all. actually i was informed today if i needed it, to call. i had explained re hanging up yesterday. so that was pleasant. there were some other helpful comments so i feel a bit more security in knowing they are there if needed. now if my logical and sensible mind would never leave me so that i dont end up a useless pile of slobber, all would be good!

[Suratji]

"now if my logical and sensible mind would never leave me so that i dont end up a useless pile of slobber, all would be good![/quote]"

I've been learning from my T that I need to allow myself to feel my emotions more and not depend so much on my "logical and sensible mind". The idea is this (I'm slowly getting it), is that when we deny or repress our emotions, they stay hidden and we're not able to see them clearly in order to process them. So, even if they're buried, they have incredible power. The rational brain has very little power over the emotional brain.

So, what I do now is allow myself to experience my own "pile of slobber" - feel it, cry, move, etc. and then step back and take a look at it. I then can say, "Wow, what was that about?" and have a better opportunity to truly understand it and then have some real control - not the control of repression but the control of understanding.

[MoAnamCara]

Suratji

yes, that sounds more correct. it is not something i do, but i am a damn good actor!

i realize its not healthy and at some point i'll hopefully be able to adapt to a more positive and fulfilling way of being.

but not for tonight.

[Suratji]

Originally Posted by MoAnamCara

Suratji

yes, that sounds more correct. it is not something i do, but i am a damn good actor!

i realize its not healthy and at some point i'll hopefully be able to adapt to a more positive and fulfilling way of being.

but not for tonight.

One thing I'm doing lately is plug into my iPod, go to a private room in the house and dance the night away. It is incredibly liberating and the release of emotions is so freeing. And the added benefit is the extra exercise. It's like a huge weight off of my shoulders when I do that. I think there's even a formal therapy called dance therapy. It has been very very helpful for me and also what comes from it are some insights. So, I get release, I get insights and most awesomely I get a huge dose of endorphins - the natural happy pill.

[MoAnamCara]

sounds good suratji

hoping to get back into walking, always loved it.... and on my own. just need to shake myself to get motivated.

thanks, take care.