[DelusionsDaily]

Hey there,
I have got a really difficult session coming up in 1 and a 1/2hrs. I did the homework and know what the issue is. Just getting really anxious, nervous, and reluctant about the session. I dont know if I can just spit out the issue. But I have to or it is gonna be horrible...she said she wasnt frustrated with me last session but it sure felt that like she was frustrated with me. then again maybe it was just me. I dont know but I dont want to feel like I did last week or I will quit T and stay the way things are I dont need to ever feel like im getting yelled at by someone who should be helping me. I know part of this is my fault by not telling her where I was in my head when she asked...but jeez she knows its difficult for me to talk.

[WePow]

Hope you have peace today in session and can gain what you need from it! :-)

[mixedup_emotions]

I can understand why you're feeling so anxious. I hope the session gets here quickly so you can face this so your anxiety level can drop....I also hope you find the strength to address this with T and to say what needs to be said. Post an update when you can!

[SpiritRunner]

thinking of you!

[DelusionsDaily]

20 min late ARGH!!!

[DelusionsDaily]

so the session went well. It took me a little while to spit it out because I kept fighting betweem the 9year old that needs help and the 30 year old that think I should just be past it....but I got it out...telling her that my sisters death keeps coming up. We talked a bit and she yold me I needed to get a book on grieving read, highlight it, and write notes in the margin. So thats really all. she was 20 min late but she apologized she put me in the computer schedule but not in her book so she didnt realize until later that I had an appt.

[mixedup_emotions]

I can soooo relate to the internal battle of the young parts and the older parts....for me, it's more my emotions versus my brain.....always turmoil.

I'm so glad you were able to finally spit it out. I hope you find the book helpful.

[DelusionsDaily]

I actually found 2 books but only the one I will use in therapy...Im exhausted already and ive only begun to read them. Im pretty scared of this process but I trust my T i have to or i never would have gone near this subject with her.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by MELISSSAD81

I actually found 2 books but only the one I will use in therapy...Im exhausted already and ive only begun to read them. Im pretty scared of this process but I trust my T i have to or i never would have gone near this subject with her.

Melissa, what book will you use and would you recommend it?

[DelusionsDaily]

the books are on grieving and I like both but I just started reading both...surviving grief and learning to live again by Dr. Catherine M. Sanders, and...the courage to grieve by judy tatelbaum. Again so far both have been very good for me as I never understood "grief" as a 9 year old and didnt receive much guidance then or later instead I just shut down and stopped feeling altogether. So 20 years later when my sister comes up for me I am still that 9 year old waiting for her to come home.