[Can't Stop Crying]

1. Do you ever feel like your T has his/her own agenda for a session and feel like you wasted time talking about what they wanted to discuss rather than what you felt like you needed to discuss? I know I have a hard time talking, but he usually starts out with a "what's on your mind" type question. I had been practicing what to say and had it ready in my head. He threw me off guard when he pulled out this paperwork and articles ( I know they were intended to be resources for me) and then spent the whole session discussing them. I guess I should have spoken up and said I had things that I really needed to talk about, but I'm not quite to that point yet. Speaking is still very difficult and interrupting would feel like a disaster.
2. My son and I see the same T. Yesterday he called with a cancellation for today. He only has one opening. I really feel like I need to talk to him, especially since I didn't say what I needed to last session, but I feel terrible for wanting to take an available time slot from my son. I feel selfish for wanting this session, but at the same time I feel like I really need it. How do I decide?

YES, my T has had his own "agenda" a few times, and it's REALLY thrown me off. At the beginning of therapy, I hated the fact that I was in charge of the sessions, but now I've grown used to it, and the couple of times that I've gone in there ready to deal with what I need to deal with and T has derailed it, it was SO frustrating. It actually caused a pretty big rupture between us once. I told him that it's MY therapy and that I follow all of the rules of therapy, and that the rule for HIM is that I get to be in charge, and he broke the rule. I don't think he totally agreed, but we worked through it.

If he has an opening today, and you need it more than your son, go. It sounds like you have something you need to talk about, and like it might be hard to sit with it. Maybe the best thing for you AND your son is for Mom to go and get herself in a good place before the weekend?

Therapy is hard!

[WikidPissah]

Originally Posted by Can't Stop Crying

1. Do you ever feel like your T has his/her own agenda for a session and feel like you wasted time talking about what they wanted to discuss rather than what you felt like you needed to discuss?

Not with current T, but my old T did that a lot...and it would throw me way off. I think that because I was such a poor communicator he took on the roll of professor, and would spend 50 min lecturing me each week. It didn't work.

2. How do I decide?

Ugh...hard one. My daughter recently started T, and we are totally broke from a bunch of medical crap. My T also wants to start double sessions. My daughter is 21 and not working, she has an anxiety thing going on, and it really isn't extreme, so I have asked her to do every other week until my medical bills go down (maybe a couple of mos). I feel SO guilty about this.

[WePow]

What is in the best interests of your son includes you being healthy. If you need it more than your son does today, go.

[ladyjrnlist]

How about asking your son if he's OK with it? I bet he would be. Also, T's do have agendas. I have to steer mine sometimes when he starts to go down a path I don't feelis right for me.

[embracinglife]

I haven't really experienced that, but I guess I am comfortable talking when I have a problem I need to talk about. My old T would do the opposite...she sat in silence for long periods of time waiting for me to talk. It was nice....but also sometimes kind of awkward, because sometimes I didn't have anything to talk about.

I hope you feel comfortable talking with this T, because otherwise maybe you would consider finding a new therapist that you like better.