[mixedup_emotions]

My T has another T in our group who is the co-facilitator. We used to get the blog notes posted the night of our session. When this co-facilitator started, he took over the notes and they started getting posted 4 days later.

This had a serious negative impact on the activity on the blog because members would post while things were still fresh in our minds, and there would be a dialogue going. We raised it as an issue in group, and a number of members expressed their unhappiness about the notes going up so late in the week. This T said that he was working to try to get them up sooner, but 3 days seems to be the earliest that he believed he could get them up. Needless to say, we were unhappy.

I suggested that this T put a "placeholder" post after our session, so that members could still engage in dialogue about the session before the official blog notes were posted. We all agreed that this would be good, and he agreed to take this on.

Well, over the last few weeks, it hadn't been done, or at least in a timely manner. A couple weeks ago, I finally emailed the T asking him to put the placeholder post up. He thanked me for the reminder and put it up.

Then, last week, he didn't put the placeholder post up at all...and when the notes were posted, I commented to him, "This week, I find myself feeling even more discouraged that the placeholder for this week’s notes was not posted. I reminded you last week. However, this week, while feeling already discouraged – I decided not to do anything about it other than stew in the disappointment that if it’s not important to you as a facilitator, then I don’t care either."

I was angry. Of course, this was after all this other stuff was going on in group, and I was discouraged...so there was more to it than that.

During group earlier this week, no mention was made of it because we had a lot going on....

Then.....no placeholder post....not Tuesday night....not Wednesday morning....not Wednesday night....not Thursday morning....but FINALLY on Thursday night. GRRR.

So...the one obvious thing is I do care. But, I'm wondering, is this T deliberately not posting the placeholder because he wants me to address it a certain way? Or, is he continually forgetting because it really isn't a priority to him? I mean SHEESH!!?!?!?!?

I'm not quite sure how to address this, but I am this.close to giving up on the blog altogether out of resentment towards him.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

I'm wondering, is this T deliberately not posting the placeholder because he wants me to address it a certain way? Or, is he continually forgetting because it really isn't a priority to him?

Asking him is an option...

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

Asking him is an option...

Yep, simply and directly asking him in a non-confrontational, honest way sounds good.....this is something that can't be left dangling as it is, I think.

[mixedup_emotions]

Ya know, it's kinda funny. I was thinking about just posting, asking him - and of course expressing how I was feeling...

But the child part of me wanted to stomp her feet, turn her head away and say "F U", and just not bother with the blog at all....SO THERE!

Something else that kinda bugs me about it is that no one else in the group has stepped up to mention anything.

One guy talks about how he's discouraged about it but not IN the room....only in the waiting area.

Another guy was asked about it during session - why he doesn't post on the blog anymore - he used to be VERY VERY active..and now NOTHING. NOT A THING.....he said that it was because of how late the notes are posted, and by then, he's no longer in the moment.

So, I'm wondering if I'm just beating a dead horse by even bothering to do something about it. I guess I'm tired of being the only one that seems to care. And if the others aren't going to post or be supportive, then why should I bother? I have a wonderful group here - PC - who is WAY more supportive for me.

I know I'm rambling....just getting it out so I can figure out what I'm really feeling and how I want to tackle this....

[sunrise]

That sounds frustrating, MUE. It sounds like this T is busy and isn't really into the job of having to write and post the notes. Maybe he doesn't even like the idea of a blog for your group. How about if you and the other group members took responsibility for this, and took turns writing the notes right after session? That way, each person would have to do it only once every couple of months so no one would be burdened over much. Plus, it might be a good exercise for the group members to try to post fairly neutrally about a group session in which they had been a participant.

Another idea is for you and the other members to not wait for the notes and just start discussing the session on the blog anyway. Screw the placeholder post! If you don't wait for it, then you won't be dependent on this T, and your annoyance will probably go away.

MUE, your post was strangely reminiscent of something you wrote earlier. In this instance, the other T is not posting the blog notes, despite your polite request and explanation which did get results before. It reminds me of how at your group session you asked your T to move his chair away from the door so he wouldn't be blocking the exit, and he did so, but the following week he was back to blocking the exit again. I don't know what this means--do you think it is a pattern of how these Ts interact with you? That's probably kind of farfetched based on just these two examples, but it did pop into my mind.