[gelfling]

Just curious. I am having absolutely no luck in finding a new T and was wondering if I should even consider calling former Ts? I am afraid they will reject me, and so I haven't called up to this point............

[WikidPissah]

I really liked my first T a lot, but back then they decided I was borderline (I've since been proven not to be) and he wanted me in DBT. The DBT group would only take me if I had their DBT therapist. DBT did absolutely nothing for me, and I really didn't jell with that T, so I called original T to take me back. He declined, said he would not take me unless I was in DBT, and there are no other DBT groups on this little island. I was so hurt. I tried 3 or 4 T's over the next few mos, settled on one who was a complete idiot. stayed with him for 2.5 years, then recently moved on.

I guess the answer is NO, I will not go back to former T's...they were not right for me then, and they wouldn't be right for me now.

I wouldn't hesitate to go back to my former t's if that kind of situation arose. I still communicate with them on occasion, so I know they would have no problem working with me again. All you can do is ask.

[gelfling]

Thanks, Eileen -- my most recent T (maybe former T? we never formally "broke up") did the same thing to me -- refused to continue working until I got into a DBT group -- so I stopped going to him while I worked on getting into a group (and im still working on it -what a nightmare) I figured it wasnt worth paying $100 a week to have the same argument over and over and over..........I've been considering going to the T before this one, but I got very upset over a comment he made and all the screwing around he was doing with my insurance (when I had insurance) it got so bad I made arrangements to not go thru my insurance....and they submitted it anyway and got paid twice for the sessions! I'm just so lost right now.......

[lastyearisblank]

I think about this too and have no idea... currently going 1x month while I try to decide. The thing is, if it was going to be just like the first round, there was a reason it already didn't work out. And yes it is so so hard to find someone new to click with... so... I'm torn too on that one.

[WikidPissah]

Originally Posted by gelfling

I've been considering going to the T before this one, but I got very upset over a comment he made and all the screwing around he was doing with my insurance (when I had insurance) it got so bad I made arrangements to not go thru my insurance....and they submitted it anyway and got paid twice for the sessions! I'm just so lost right now.......

This ^ T should be lynched...double billing is very shady and shows bad character and a lack of insight.

(this is the accountant part of me, I have found that people who's books are that far out of whack have something to hide)

[lastyearisblank]

^^^ agree & you must be a far more forgiving person than me. This is like beyond a cute little mistake.. isn't it insurance fraud??

[embracinglife]

if you liked your former T I think they would be happy to see you come back!

[embracinglife]

okay nevermind, after reading the above comments, I would try to find a new therapist. Call around.

[rainbow8]

It makes a difference why you quit with the T you're considering going back to. I wanted to go back to a previous T after seeing another for a couple of years because I had quit her and I wasn't really finished. She didn't think it would work out and refused, though. I saw another T and considered going back but it would have to be phone therapy, and I decided not to. I wouldn't go back to a T if therapy ended badly, however.

gelfling, you wrote that you're worried former Ts will reject you, but it sounds like you wouldn't want the one you had the insurance problem with, anyway. How come you're having no luck finding a new one? Did you look on the psychologytoday website or do you live in a small town with few Ts? You just have to keep calling and scheduling appointments to see if a T will fit. I hope you find one soon!

[Omers]

I have gone back to 2 former T's. One I left when I moved away from home. We left on very good terms and I had enjoyed working with her. When I returned it wasn't the same. We had both grown and changed in the 2+ years that had passed and we no longer meshed the way we once had.
I stopped seeing my current T for a year and have returned to her after not being able to find anyone who can help me AND takes my insurance. Re-entry is a B*. It was more difficult for me to re-enter with her and stabilize than it has ever been with a new T. It also has taken longer to rebuild that trust even though I have always trusted her a lot. But... worth it.
just my experiences.

[BlessedRhiannon]

No, I've never gone back to a former T. Mainly because my previous 2 T's were not a good fit for me. Also, my first T decided to take a break from her practice just as I was really starting to trust her...I felt betrayed. My second T, the connection just wasn't there, even though I saw her for a year...then I moved to a different state. My current T...well, unless I move or she leaves her practice, I'm pretty sure she's going to stay my T as long as I need her. She's just that awesome.

[gelfling]

Rainbow -- i have called and called and called (and yes leave coherent messages with my phone number) and cannot get a return call literally to save my life. i've used the finder from here -- and there are like 3 people i can call. Have the name of one that a friend has recommended (bonus is he actually likes working with people like me) but again - i call and call and call - i dont want to make an appt and not be able to afford them either....so......................

I've liked all my former t's -- dont know that they necessarily "got" me or that we agreed on what was important to me/for me, and i suppose they have all helped some (im not as depressed as i was) but i never had any "a-ha moments" or wise mind moments with any of them. Yes, the one with the insurance was a major pain -- cause i'd get statements from them and then the insurance company and nothing matched up then things would be declined and i about went out of my head with worry which turned into anger because we had an agreement and they were not holding up their end of it, felt like they were being dishonest.

Just exploring options....thanks for everyones imput......you are always helpful

[PTSDlovemycats]

I had a very helpful and supportive psychologist who I used to see for my OCD and after 3yrs of not seeing him I went back to see him for a tune up. Also I stopped seeing my current PDoc each time for about 7 months and each time I wanted to go back to her she willingly accepted me with open arms. They have both always been nothing but helpful and supportive with me. I hope you are able to figure things out.

[lastyearisblank]

Rainbow -- i have called and called and called (and yes leave coherent messages with my phone number) and cannot get a return call literally to save my life. i've used the finder from here -- and there are like 3 people i can call. Have the name of one that a friend has recommended (bonus is he actually likes working with people like me) but again - i call and call and call - i dont want to make an appt and not be able to afford them either....so......................

How long has it been? Maybe you could go ring their doorbell and see if they are in? It is good to make contact with one because even if they are too expensive to make an appointment, they might know somebody who is what you're looking for but isn't listed...

[gelfling]

last year -- ive been calling for about a month now, maybe longer -- started mid january

[lastyearisblank]

That's a long time to wait! Today I stopped somewhere to drop off a folder and the person asked me to wait. 30 minutes later, I went to their door again and they were like, "you should have knocked???! I forgot about you!"

Yeah... so I would get some addresses and go knock on some doors, after 1 month..

[embracinglife]

do you have a pdoc? maybe your pdoc could reccommend some therapists to you.