[mixedup_emotions]

Just wanted to let you know that I won't be online today as I have jury duty (oh joy) and then group T tonight.

Of course, I'm wondering how group T will go because of what happened last week...but I'm going to view it as an opportunity to learn something about myself and others.

Although I'm still suffering with a migraine and am pushing away this sinking depression, I am ok at the moment. One step forward, one at a time...

Thinking of you all.....

[PTSDlovemycats]

I will be thinking of you MUE, I hope your migraine goes away soon! TTYL!!

[granite1]

have a good day

[WePow]

Thinking of you too!!!

[PTSDlovemycats]

Keep us updated on how your group T goes MUE!

[Fartraveler]

Good luck, MUE.

-Far

[karebear1]

Have a good day Mue- hope your migraine gives you a break soon.

[SpiritRunner]

thinking of you today; hope it all goes well for you and you feel better!

[rainbow8]

I'm thinking of you today too, MUE. Funny--my T has jury duty today so I can't see her. One step at a time is good. I'm sorry you still have the migraine but glad you're okay at the moment. I hope your group goes well tonight.

[mixedup_emotions]

Aww, it was so nice to see this post of support from you all. I really needed it right now.

I hate to be so much of a downer, but today was an awful day. I went to jury duty, and I was called to be a juror for a criminal case. I have to go to court tomorrow for the criminal charges with my ex, so I figured I would be excused.

Well, when I spoke to the judge, prosecutor and defense attorney, the judge said they would call the courthouse and have my other court date rescheduled so I can be a juror on this case. Umm, ok....

Then, the prosecutor and defense attorney both recognized me from high school. Judge was ok with that....

So, I came to accept that I would just go with the flow....Then, we were being questioned about this, that and the other thing...and one of the questions was, "Have you ever been the victim of a crime, whether it was reported to law enforcement or not?"



OMG....I began to get very anxious....when we got to that question, I raised my hand and had to talk to the judge and these two people that I knew from high school, with the alleged criminal listening in on headphones.....When I approached them, I asked the judge, "Do I need to be specific?"...He said, Yes.......I took a deep breath and said two words....impactful words...and started bawling my eyes out....

I was MORTIFIED....The judge said that I was too emotionally unstable to serve on this case and was excused. OMG, I was horrified....

I then rushed to get to group T....and my blood sugar crashed along the way because I hadn't eaten all day....so I munched on some crackers...and by the time I got to group, I was a zombie. My legs felt like jello and the room was spinning. My brain was working, but words would not leave my mouth.

What an awful session....

And tomorrow marks the 4 year anniversary of the sudden, horrible death of my dad....AND I have to go to court for the criminal charges with my ex.

Sorry for unloading all of this here...I just really needed a place to vent this, to whine for a moment and cry woe-is-me...and be around people who understand and care.

[SpiritRunner]

oh MUE, I'm sorry you had such a painful, hard day! Much love and many hugs to you Be gentle with yourself and I hope you get some healing rest.

[Sweetlove]

(((((MUE)))))

So sorry you had such a rough day...althought I'm glad you were excused from the case..you don't need that added stress right now. I hope group T was somewhat helpful at the end of your awful day. Thinking of you..take care of yourself

[PTSDlovemycats]

MUE I am sorry to hear that you had such a rough day, (((HUGS)))

[elliemay]

I'm sorry you had an awful day. I can only imagine what I would do in that situation.

There was no reason for the judge to offer such a moniker when excusing you from the jury.

I think the attorney's have to give cause in some cases, but not the judge.

I'm sorry.

[Fartraveler]

(((((MUE))))

I hope today is better.

[granite1]

wow i dont understand why the judge needed you to be so spacific.that must have been so humiliating to have to say stuff like that infront of people.i will be thinking of you today and please let us know how things go today

((((((((((((MUE))))))))))))))))

Wow. That just sounds gut-wrenchingly HORRIBLE. I am so sorry that things happened the way they did in court....and that you are facing another tough day today.

I will be thinking about you and sending strength and wishes for some peace.

Take a deep breath, and know that you can do this.

[lastyearisblank]

Jesus. The hypocrisy. I can not believe he said that.

[mixedup_emotions]

Thanks, everyone.....

I am doing ok at the moment. Amazing what a good vent, a good cry and a couple hours of sleep will do. I feel that gut-wrenching ball of emotion in the pit of my stomach, though, so I know the emotions are there. I hope I can get through work and court without losing it again. *sigh*

I wish I could just let the whole court thing yesterday go, knowing that it's over and done with - but it really was traumatic for me. Blech.

And I miss my dad.

[Sannah]

[rainbow8]

I cannot BELIEVE that the judge didn't dismiss you from being on the jury right away. That's terrible!!!!!!! I am so sorry you had to go through that!!!

[karebear1]

What a nightmare! I'm so sorry that you had to go through all that Mue.

[PTSDlovemycats]

MUE, I hope that you are doing better today!

[mixedup_emotions]

Thanks, everyone....I'm doing ok. It's been a rough week so far, but I'm surviving.

((( HUGS )))

MUE, this jury palava sounds so upsetting and unnecsesary. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Well done for holding your head up!

I was thinking of you yesterday/Tuesday. Sending you love and hoping you're ok. Do keep posting for support through this hard week.