Sitting across the desk from your therapist?

I just started seeing a new therapist. Her office is set up so that she sits behind her desk, and her client(s) sit across the desk from her. This seems odd to me - sort of hierarchical and off-putting. Would it bother any of you? Would you say something? I get the feeling she is a fairly new therapist.

This would definitely bother me. It would be way too formal. I am not sure if I could relax in that type of setting. As for saying something, I did tell my therapist I was uncomfortable sitting on the couch and her in the chair. The reason was that her chair was higher than the couch. I felt like I was looking up to an authority figure.

She said she could understand why I felt that way. We moved to the floor for the next few sessions. Then I came in one day and noticed she had bought a new chair! It was at the same level as the couch.

It made me feel good to know that she really did take into account what I told her and she did something about it.

Yeah, sitting across a desk would seem really strange to me

It would definitely bother me. It would feel too unequal...I'd feel like the T was trying to be in a position of authority.

Yes, that would definatly bother me...it would feel like an interrogation or interview, not like a theraputic envirnment. Tell her how you feel in a non-judgmental way. You could say "I don't know how I feel about this seating arrangement, it kind of makes me feel uncomfortable and intimidated when I have to sit across from you behind your desk."

Just an idea...good luck

Yes that would definitely bother me, but thankfully my T has a desk that sits against the wall and so when we have session she turns her chair away from the desk so there is nothing between us. I think if her desk was in the middle of the room and she sat behind it I would feel like she was deliberately trying to keep a distance from me and I would feel less of a connection. Also it helps when there isn't much distance from us because I don't talk very loud so it's easier for her to hear me.

that seems very strange and it would probably keep me from going back. Do you like her? If you think she is worth sticking it out with then I would say something.

To me it would send the message that this is a T who doesn't want to get close to her clients, so she is using the desk as a shield or physical barrier. I might think, "here is a T who is not comfortable doing therapy."

from http://www.networktherapy.com/librar...herapy-Session
"Therapists generally want to convey 'openness.' It is therefore rare for a therapist to sit behind a desk, with you on the other side."

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I think I've been to 5 therapists in my lifetime and I don't recall one who ever sat behind a desk to do therapy. Does seem strange--I'd mention it.

As a client and a T I hate having a desk between us. One time I had to use another T's office due to being at a different location and it had 2 chairs, 1 behind this huge desk. It did not feel therapeutic to me at all.

There are times as a T that I have had clients that have extremely violent tendencies, and have histories of attacking their counselor. I have a physical disability, which makes me feel vulnerable. If and when I fear someone becoming irrate, I will put a heavy table between us and keep myself closest to the door. Have only done that once, though.

It's possible that this therapist feels vulnerable in some way, and is using this as a means to protect herself. I don't know. But even if this is the case, this would make me uncomfortable as a client. Is there somewhere else she can sit in the office without rearranging. I wonder about mentioning "if feels really disconnected with there being a desk between us".

Good luck.

Yikes - I had a pdoc who sat behind this magnificent with a huge office chair and the client (me) sat in a glorified folding chair. His attitude matched his office - arrogant! I didn't stay with him for long. Is the room small, is there another way it could be arranged? I would definitely mention your discomfort to her...maybe she doesn't realize what it's like on the other side of the desk?

the desk thing is very uncomfortable. At the Psych Center (a clinic of sorts) all the offices are arranged in this order. I had to go there for a bit when I first went into crisis, until I found a T of my own...I hated it. But (as someone else noted) that clinic had the worst of the worst as far as mentally ill people. You would always hear yelling and slamming doors...so thinking about it now, I guess maybe it was for protection.

Does your T's office treat a lot of difficult clients?

So...I sent her a link to this thread. That way, if she sees this, she will see that this is a commonly held belief and not just one person's opinion.

I would have loved it when I first stared therapy and was scared. I would have loved the protection of a desk between T and I. Don't think it would have been therapeutic at all though.

I have worked with 9 or so Ts and 2 Pdocs (interviewed many more) and the only one to sit behind a desk is my current Pdoc. My current Pdoc is really approachable, down to earth and even the touchy feely sort. She admits though that SHE has stuff that makes her more comfortable behind the desk.

One T did have a round table in the room we worked in. She would always sit first and then let me decide where I wanted to be. There were chairs all around the table so there were plenty of choices. However, I think if given the choice she would not have had the table there.

Its funny tho, in that its very old fashioned. I beleive thats the way they did it in the days of old. This is, until Carl Rogers and Fritz Perls and co began to overturn traditions. Thats my very minimal and uneducated bit of probably inaccurate information. It would be interesting to hear what T herself says about it.

I loved this - and I really get it.
For the first year T and I met in an unused classroom, while the new wing which houses her office was being built. The tables were arranged in a long U & we sat at 90 degrees from each other on one of the outside corners. Now that she has an office with two more or less facing chairs, it makes me feel very exposed and vulnerable. I guess a desk barrier can be for keeping the client at a safe distance, or keeping the T at a safe distance.... but if it feels wrong to you, speak up!

I would not be able to open up at all.
T has 2 couches next to each other, at right angles. She used sit in her couch, furthest away from me, and even then I told her that I felt a barrier between us. She understood, and from then on moved closer to me. If I feel it necessary to have more room, I can move back into the furthest corner of my couch.
I like being able to be in control, and I often feel I need to be close to my T

My T and I sit just inches away from each other on the floor. A desk between us would be such a psychological barrier. I can't even imagine how badly that would feel.

My very first therapist (the one that only seen me two times and then referred for my good to my current T) was behind a desk and it didn't bothered me at times... but I think that I prefer a lot to not having objects between me and T (like it is with my T).

I was thinking about this some more....yes, the desk would make me horribly uncomfortable. However, I really like having a coffee table in between me and my T. I need the extra space that the table provides, but it's low enough that it doesn't really feel like a barrier. The table serves to keep the physical space at just the right distance. A desk would just feel different, I think. It would feel too much like I was talking to someone with some kind of authority over me and that wouldn't work for building a trusting relationship.

I put the pillow from the couch over my belly between T and I when I feel vulnerable... guess I still like to hide sometimes.

Me too. I used to force my therapist to do therapy with me in the group room where a coffee table was between us. It was therapeutic though. I was terrified with him being a male. But now I can talk to him wherever. Although I still don't "trust him" even after four years.

Let me just say that she emailed me back. All will work out, methinks.